Why is she doing this?

[Elf2]

So yea, theres this girl. I've known of her and we've been in the same classes together for the past 2 or 3 years. Never really got around to talking her as I'm actually very shy and won't approach girls like that. She is always surrounded by guys anyways. So this year we have one class in common. In this class everyweek we have a little "group task" thing to do every week and she's always been my group since the start of the year. Usually this time our group won't actually do the work but we'll rather just sit there, talk and goof off. Everytime our 4 person group comes together, she always talks to me. Why? I don't get it. I mean I guess you could say I'm a guy of average or alittle below average looks and a very nice personality.

She currently has a boyfriend that she's been with for about a year now. Everytime we're working together we always talk like a bestfriend of mine would. Real "juicy" converstaions. I've never had anything like that before. Shes probably the only girl I actually really enjoy talking to and would trust. She always tells me about random **** and her life and stuff she's done with boyfriend or any problems that shes having. She knows that I'm a shy, quiet, and nice guy, but still. Why? There are probably like 2 or 3 other hotter guys that she could hang out with but its always me.

I've kinda done some tests with her to see if what I think is happening such as: I'll move to the other side of the room working by myself and she'll come and talk to me. Stuff like that. She's said that she trusts me a couple of times. And I trust her. I know that I'm in the friend catergory but I could careless. I'm not sure if you call it flirting with me but what she does is she'll hit me, poke me, make fun of me, joke around, slap my ass, ask me werid sexual questions...stuff like that..I don't see why she would. She also said that she hope that we have the same class together next semester. So what I'm getting at is:

Why? Why is she doing this? For what reasons? This girl doesn't have many male or female friends...as she is very protected by her family and her boyfriend. Why me? Why not some other guy? How do I go about becoming better and more trusting open friends with her without hitting on her or making it seem like I like her...

Thanks for reading all this, if you did. I really appreciate it.

 

[shydude]

DUDE, she slapping ur ass u slap her ass!!! BEcouse what she is doing is sexual harasment and u should definately call 911 before bad stuff starts to happen!! ok i was joking about that!! She treats u like her friend, nothing more.. U wanna stay her friend then stay her friend!! And stop with other guys!! MAn u sound GAY when saying guys r hot!!! no they not... U must always count urslef as the best good looking guy!!! and good luck!! try asking her out!! see what she says!!

 

[The Real Ice Man]

she may think you're gay...make it clear to her that you're not

 

[LikRetsam]

Paragraphs, thanks.

 

[Juanito]

well you better let her know that you're a MAN with a d*ck and balls

get sexual...i dont mean just pounce on her and grope her..but flirt with her slowly

my humble opinion is....touch her when you talk - from her hands, her arms, then her shoulders, her lower back, her legs...just slowly advance ('DJs' call this simple human action 'kino' lol)
but DO NOT ASK HER OUT - i think you need to put yourself in a better position than now

just up her attraction towards you..make her all hot for you

in that way, you let her know that you're interested (not giving away clear cut hints..making her wonder), and also a way to see if she is interested in you

 

[Elf2]

You guys didn't understand that I all I want from her is friendship?

 

[Phat]

what class do yo u have with her

 

[Elf2]

what class do yo u have with her

It is a sciences class.

 

[Dogfish]

I think, she doesn't really care. (She has a b/f, so she doesn't need anyone)
She talks.
Guess what - that is what girls do (24/7).

Oh and yeah - she might think you are gay. Maybe.

 

[Elf2]

Oh and yeah - she might think you are gay. Maybe.

Yes, she has said this many times but I'm pretty sure shes just joking. Or atleast I hope so.

 

[B-Lemond]

Oh and yeah - she might think you are gay. Maybe.

That's a possibility.

She also talks to you because you are SAFE. You are a NICE GUY. And we all know what that means... heh heh

Everyone but Elf2, unfortunately.


Elf2, Go at the bottom of the page and click on 'The DJ Bible' !

Then Read it!

From the looks of it, you really need to read it! heh heh

 

[Elf2]

Thanks for suggesting that. I'll have to read everything at later date...

So from what I gather if I'm a new guy...I won't get anywhere? And that I'm an "emotional tampon" and won't become better friends with her? She'll just move on to the next one?

I'm not sure if you guys understand yet but I DO NOT WANT A GIRL/BOYFRIEND RELATIONSHIP WITH HER I SIMPLY WANT TO BE COME BETTER FRIENDS.

Maybe you guys did understand this already and maybe you guys are saying that being nice to a female friend is bad.

Thanks!

 

[six-foot AZN '05]

No one can make you want to change except yourself. If all you want is friendship then by all means do what you are doing right now. Just don't regret your decision later.

This site is for guys who want to be better at *mating* with women, and maybe becoming their friend in the process. You don't hook up with all of your female friends, and all the girls you hook up with are not your friends. In that sense friendship is number 2 to attraction.

Good luck with your new friend!

 

[cubed]

Elf2, I think you answered your own question in your first post.

Everytime we're working together we always talk like a bestfriend of mine would.

You originally asked why did she want to talk/be with you and that is because she considers you a friend. It doesn't matter that there are more attractive guys around; Do you choose your (male) friends depending on how good they look? I don't.

Regardless of the fact that you only want to be friends, I recommend that you get it straight with your friend that you are not gay.

 

[Elf2]

Elf2, I think you answered your own question in your first post.

You originally asked why did she want to talk/be with you and that is because she considers you a friend. It doesn't matter that there are more attractive guys around; Do you choose your (male) friends depending on how good they look? I don't.

Regardless of the fact that you only want to be friends, I recommend that you get it straight with your friend that you are not gay.

Thank you for your reply. I've kinda opened up to this girl like I've done to most of my friends (I know, bad) and I've told her about having not hooking up yet, what I think of myself, stuff like that. To my surprise it seems like she wants to help me, and teases me in the process aswell. I know that it is a terrible, terrible thing to open up to a girl..but... opps I guess. I don't know.

Well today anyway, she asked me if I wanted to sign up for the same class next semester. I should sure... Good? I guess?

 

[Phat]

what class are you signing up for together..

 

[Elf2]

what class are you signing up for together..

This is the second time you've asked me what class. What does it matter? IF you really need to know, I'll say...it's physical education.

 

[shydude]

U really sound like ur lost.. She definatelly thinks ur gay.. I mean u said u always shy.. never talk,, U sound GAY.. And ur soft.. So u better become a man and start living what ur missin..

 

[Elf2]

U really sound like ur lost.. She definatelly thinks ur gay.. I mean u said u always shy.. never talk,, U sound GAY.. And ur soft.. So u better become a man and start living what ur missin..

I guess you could say I'm lost. She always says that I'm gay but I'm like 90% sure shes just messing with me. I think she just does it so see how I will react and just to tease me. In reality I'm pretty sure that she doesn't think that.

I talk, and I guess you could say I'm loud at times, I am soft though, nice, somewhat quiet...2 things that describe me most def: NICE and QUIET. I'm sure theres other stuff but I just haven't realized it yet. I'm working on the quiet and shy thing currently.

 

[Nighthawk]

She sounds like a nice girl who likes you as a friend. Why do you feel unworthy of that?