Why is it when it goes sour she only remembers the bad times?

[horaholic]

ok pete101, your getting a little out of hand, i suggest you check yourself in somewhere and stay a while.

Dont you mean Drift King?

 

[sodbuster]

Confused, you just had the best answers you will ever have from this board. If you don't understand what they are saying, you aren't confused-your're STUPID. YOu have the thursday date set up? Call her last minute and say"somethings come up" and cancell. Wait for her to come to you-if she doesn't-you were already done,but your whining got you one more date[thursdays].

 

[Confused]

This is SchoolBoy responding, due to maximum posts allowed.

It won't work because NOTHING you do will increase interest. I can't give you a scenario simply because I can't fortune tell or read the future. But what I can say is, whatever you have planned whether it be to beg, plea, make her feel like old times, make her feel like you DESERVE her, act ****y/funny etc... Whatever it is, it's not going to work because she's not interested. When a woman is attracted to a guy and has high IL, everything he does it attractive and cool. But when a woman has low IL or is unattracted, everything you do is lame and unattractive.

It will make it worse because by seeing her at all on Thursday, you're showing neediness and desperation. Whether you show it or not on the actual day. It's already implied when you begged her to see you. I know you feel like you need closure, but you need to learn some self control.

She made it clear to you that she's not interested. The fact that you keep clinging around her like a puppy dog is not only disrespectful to her decision but disrespectful to YOURSELF. You don't need to get her back, she will come back if she wants to.

The problem with people who have oneitis is that they feel as though they need to CONTROL the situation and the woman. This is due to fear, when people fear, they feel the need to control. And your actions are very controlling trying to sway her decision to be with you. Just let it go and let her have some time to think. She may even miss you within that time. But you need to stop the neediness and clingyness.

You getting mad at her was enough for her to wanna leave. It was your way of trying to control the situation and her behavior. she obviously doesn't like it. And you think another controlling act will change her opinion about you?

Quit trying to control the situation and learn to control yourself. Once you understand that, you'll be on your way.

If she cancels or flakes or pulls some silly stunt to not meet up, is NC'ing at that point too late?

I literally told her that 'if you want to get rid of me this is how to do it: give me 1 hour that's it'

I was tryna convey that I only needed 1 hour to change her mind but clearly my thinking is wrong.

She kept saying 'i dont want to, you're forcing me, i dont want to spend my free time anymore on this when i can be out doing other things' she just infuriates me with her spoilt behaviour and stupid BS girl excuses i told her to just act 'mature for once in her life'

For instance she'll avoid eye contact with me and keep looking around all over the place I tell her to look at me, and she does it for 2 secs then carries on like a spoilt little child avoiding eye contact, it's like dealing with a 5 year old.

 

[DonGorgon]

Simple... cause its easier for her to cross you out emotionally if she only focuses on the negative memories of you.. e.i. you become "the evil EX" that she is glad she is not with anymore.. women create their own realities based to convenience..

 

[Confused]

Simple... cause its easier for her to cross you out emotionally if she only focuses on the negative memories of you.. e.i. you become "the evil EX" that she is glad she is not with anymore.. women create their own realities based to convenience..

Is NC the only way for her to get rid of those bad feelings and think more/less emotionally about it?

Right now I feel the damage is done so bad that no matter the amount of the NC'ing will make her come back. Her answer of 'it's not fun anymore, you're too troublesome, everything is so serious, I rather spend my free time doing something else, I don't want to, you're forcing me to meet up.'

These sort of reactions I dont see being resolved just by NC?

Me losing it with her on more than one occasion cos she behaves so spoilt like a 15 year old high school girl used to doing what she wants when she wants and getting away with it frustrates me cos I do not know how to deal with this without getting angry.

But unfortunately so many beautiful women behave like this cos they have been spoilt by attention since they were children.

Will she ever focus on the GOOD times?

It's been nearly 2 weeks since we last went out though we've talked to each other on campus 4 times since then but it's been a heated exchange or her not even looking at me when I tell her to look at me. I get so fvcked off with people who behave this way even after u tell them to behave themselves.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Will she ever focus on the GOOD times?

Remembering the good times does nothing for a girl's IL. In fact you only draw attention to the bad things in contrast by doing this. Even if you could force feed her nothing but fond memories for a month it wont do a thing for a girl who's put you behind her. Accept this my friend.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never what you thought it was.

 

[Confused]

Remembering the good times does nothing for a girl's IL. In fact you only draw attention to the bad things in contrast by doing this. Even if you could force feed her nothing but fond memories for a month it wont do a thing for a girl who's put you behind her. Accept this my friend.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #7
It is always time and effort better spent developing new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Never root through the trash once the garbage has been dragged to the curb. You get messy, your neighbors see you do it, and what you thought was worth digging for is never what you thought it was.

What I meant was with No Contact etc, will she miss you and remember the good times you had?

Cos I assume NC is the only solution so imagine once her emotions have settled down she'll either a)be affirmed in her decision or b)regret it.

Will her remembering the good times make her regret her decision to end it?

 

[mrRuckus]

You've seen her all of 8 times and you're having a sit down discussion about a break up?

 

[tafakna]

I'm usually very optimistic, but it's far too late for any recovery.

NC will not bring her back, NC is not supposed to bring anyone back, NC is for you to take time for self-improvement and to learn from your mistakes.

You can do much better next time. Take a break, and after a few weeks revisit this thread and try to see for yourself your mistakes.