Why is dating single mothers generally frowned upon?

[El Payaso]

The general advice is usually to avoid them. Why is this?

 

[mrRuckus]

Because it should be shamed so they stop doing it.

Because you will be second to children, and no self respecting man is second to another man's children.

Because you should be good enough not to have to lower yourself to this blight on society.

Because children are in the way.

Because the legal system always finds a way to fvck you somehow.

Because she's dumb enough to get impregnated by a man who either wouldn't stay around or that she didn't want to stay around to begin with.

You aren't Mr. Charity to fix her problems.

Because she's likely raising a future criminal.

Because the children are unlikely to like you.

Because "dating" is obsolete to begin with.

 

[J Roc]

Dating a single mom is like playing someone else's saved game.

 

[Moroder]

This constant hate for single moms is just ridiculous. Everybody knows the current separation/divorce rates. People got together, they had kids, the relationship didn't work out. So what? This isn't the 1950s. This is 2015. Single parents still have a life of their own. Their kids are #1, yes. They have schedules, they have kid-related worries and sometimes medical emergencies, yes.

But you either accept those cirumstances or you don't. If you don't, simply date someone else and don't complain. If you love redheads, will you constantly badmouth blondes and tell other men that blondes are the scüm of the earth? No, because that would be fücking pointless and a waste of your time. So if you think that single moms are not your cup of tea, go for those smoking hot but innocent 24 year old catholic virgins that want to give you daily BJs and be lead by a strong rational frame-keeping alpha male.

 

[GS750]

I dont date them because they are generally provider hunters. I'm not raising/supporting another man's child. Plenty of childless single women out there. But that's just my opinion. If I were a single father then I'm sure I'd see if differently.

 

[JohnyTheArrow]

Moms are easy, even hot ones , and WHY they are easy ? Because nobody with balls will commit to them ... only thirsty guys who can't score better pvssy.Sex with moms is only good on dates, when you live with them remeber children are around - so quick fvck only in the morning when they are at school, that's it , and you better play good daddy or she will kick you out.You shouldn't date singles moms because you risk emotional attachment and getting sucked in such pathethic relationship.

The worst is single moms do know nobody serious wants them and only pathethic looser will take them, so deep in heart they will never truly love you or respect you as you must be clearly second sort.Women hate being with loosers

 

[MOTU]

Fisrt of all, we need to distinguish something:

There is a HUGE difference in risk/reward when:
a) Dating a single mother with a career who pays her own bills and has a good job who became one by being married to the same man for 10 years, both kids are his, and things didn't work out - maybe through no fault of hers and

b) Single mother, aged 23, Grade 10 education, works part-time as a cleaner at an office building while her mother watches her kids, just like her mother before her did, 3 kids, 3 different fathers, never a relationship involved,.

Those are two VASTLY different scenarios.

^^^^This.

I am a single dad. My kids play an important role in my life. After I divorced their mother, I rebound married a woman with no kids. It created lots of problems for me as she just didn't understand that my kids come first. So, the posters above who said you will come second to her kids - you are correct. If you can't accept that, you are best to avoid the single moms all together.

The theory that the woman won't respect you because you are raising another mans kid has some merit. That's why you don't raise the kids. You can be her partner while she raises her kids, and if you are a single dad, invest in her children to the extent she invests in yours.

As Mauser points out, it's a matter of screening. They need to:
- be educated and have a career
- be financially stable and independent
- have been single for a couple of years
- have kids from only one long marriage
- be a good parent
- not have had a string of boyfriends since their divorce

My GF has an MBA, works as an office manager at a water authority, pays her own way and I am the first guy to meet her kids since she divorced 3.5 years ago. So far so good.
So is she looking for a provider? Of course, to some extent. That would be in the best interest of her kids so how could she not? But is that ALL she is looking for? Is that the most important thing? Hopefully not. Time will tell.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

^^^^This.

I am a single dad. My kids play an important role in my life. After I divorced their mother, I rebound married a woman with no kids. It created lots of problems for me as she just didn't understand that my kids come first. So, the posters above who said you will come second to her kids - you are correct. If you can't accept that, you are best to avoid the single moms all together.

The theory that the woman won't respect you because you are raising another mans kid has some merit. That's why you don't raise the kids. You can be her partner while she raises her kids, and if you are a single dad, invest in her children to the extent she invests in yours.

As Mauser points out, it's a matter of screening. They need to:
- be educated and have a career
- be financially stable and independent
- have been single for a couple of years
- have kids from only one long marriage
- be a good parent
- not have had a string of boyfriends since their divorce

My GF has an MBA, works as an office manager at a water authority, pays her own way and I am the first guy to meet her kids since she divorced 3.5 years ago. So far so good.
So is she looking for a provider? Of course, to some extent. That would be in the best interest of her kids so how could she not? But is that ALL she is looking for? Is that the most important thing? Hopefully not. Time will tell.

My dad did the same thing when me and my sister were in high school. Married a liberal woman that had been mostly single her whole. Lets just say, it's one terrible decision I will never make lol.

 

[mrRuckus]

Fisrt of all, we need to distinguish something:

There is a HUGE difference in risk/reward when:
a) Dating a single mother with a career who pays her own bills and has a good job who became one by being married to the same man for 10 years, both kids are his, and things didn't work out - maybe through no fault of hers and

b) Single mother, aged 23, Grade 10 education, works part-time as a cleaner at an office building while her mother watches her kids, just like her mother before her did, 3 kids, 3 different fathers, never a relationship involved,.

What is the difference in risk/reward? The most important reward that makes all other things practically moot missing from Scenario A to Scenario B is that in B you've ripped away fvcking a 23 year old, instead dealing with the fallout of a curdled woman in her 30's or 40's.

And I'm seriously confused why anyone mentions a woman's career as a reward.

So here's the scenarios.

1. At the very least get to fvck a young woman.
2. She's old and has little time for you between this "career" and her children. She's probably lying to you about being the innocent little victim of the father or former husband.

As Mauser points out, it's a matter of screening. They need to:
- be educated and have a career
- be financially stable and independent
- have been single for a couple of years
- have kids from only one long marriage
- be a good parent
- not have had a string of boyfriends since their divorce

You forgot:

- Be a unicorn.
- Jams with Pan as a hobby.





What this thread comes down to is "It's so hard out there so I'll go for the low hanging fruit, and I want guys to tell me it's okay instead of just getting a woman without the baggage."