"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Why is a girl who once friend-zoned me sh*t-testing?

The LadyKiller

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A couple months back, a girl I had been out with a few times ended things and said how we're such close friends. It was a tough pill to swallow, but it happens. However, because we work in the same building, I still see her more than I would like. The two of us still get along well and things are normal...

...except for a new, odd thing she has begun doing this week. Every day when she sees me, she asks me to make her a coffee - even though she knows I don't drink coffee and certainly don't know how to make coffee. Even if I knew how to, I'm not her errand boy, she can do it herself. I've presumed she's just trying to be funny, so I've been busting her chops every time she asks me.

Can someone explain what's happening here? My curiosity actually isn't a "is she into me?" thing (she's the one who friend-zoned me, and I've begun hanging out with someone new) - it's more a "does she think I'm a pushover that will just do anything?" thing. I don't handle disrespect well, and will be less good-natured in my responses if that is the case.
 
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“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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MrWood

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she is having second thoughts abot zoning you.. and she cant figure out why you are busting her chops when other guys would go make the coffee and deliver it to her desk. You have become a illogical challenge for her (girls love this)

tell her this...
"If you want coffee lets go to a cafe this weekend, you look nice today, cute." (walk away)
 

jaymbrs

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She's busting your chops because she knows you don't drink coffee and don't know how to make it.
 

The LadyKiller

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Interesting that all three responses so far are completely different. You all present good points:
- StormRider it honestly wouldn't surprise me if she thought this. If this proves true, she will have to be put in her place. Going back to a recent thread in this forum, I had been doing most, if not all, of the initiating when I was into her. She ended things in no uncertain terms - we get along, but "We're close friends and nothing more" seems pretty concrete.
- However, MrWood I have handled things like a champ externally. No one can tell that her rejection stung (which it did) because I've been acting the same way all along. She knows I've been out with other girls since, and last week she told me she was out with another guy. I said great and wished her the best of luck.
- Jaymbys this can very possibly be the case too. She is one to bust chops, even if it's a little strange.

If she mentions the coffee thing again, I am going to try MrWood's line of grabbing coffee this weekend and see her reaction. That'll end her making coffee game real quick.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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dude99

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A couple months back, a girl I had been out with a few times ended things and said how we're such close friends. It was a tough pill to swallow, but it happens. However, because we work in the same building, I still see her more than I would like. The two of us still get along well and things are normal...

...except for a new, odd thing she has begun doing this week. Every day when she sees me, she asks me to make her a coffee - even though she knows I don't drink coffee and certainly don't know how to make coffee. Even if I knew how to, I'm not her errand boy, she can do it herself. I've presumed she's just trying to be funny, so I've been busting her chops every time she asks me.

Can someone explain what's happening here? My curiosity actually isn't a "is she into me?" thing (she's the one who friend-zoned me, and I've begun hanging out with someone new) - it's more a "does she think I'm a pushover that will just do anything?" thing. I don't handle disrespect well, and will be less good-natured in my responses if that is the case.
You were plan b. Hence the friend zone. Plan a may have fallen apart and she is looking for validation and negging you. Ignore.
 

derby1

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she will **** you off again when she knows you fancy her

validation is her currency and its to be slammed in her purse all day with orbiters balls
 

bcude

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Honestly, she did you a favor by friendzoning you. Don't sh1t where you eat. It never works out well for the guy.
Onto your question: who cares what she thinks about you, since she should be irrelevant in your eyes now.
 

Hal9000

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The only way you should give her any attention is if she asks you to go in the supply closet for a quick hookup. Anything short of that and you need to blow her off.
 

Black Widow Void

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Hate to say this, but don't ask her out.
Seriously.
Her behavior does not indicate that she disrespects you. Quite the opposite. The problem is... if you do any form of chasing (which includes asking her out) her respect for you will diminish.

Her: Make me some coffee
You: (said with a smirk) Looks like you had a rough night, you need it (then point to the coffee maker)

Her: Make me some coffee
You: You're not there yet. Make me a sandwich and I'll think about it.

Her: Make me some coffee
You: No problem. Make me twenty dollars.
 
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"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Alvafe

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in the end all the OP need to so is stop giving her atencion and move on, serious dude there is nothing ehre for you, if she wanted to change things she will need to work, and even so I wouldn't accept, you gave her the chance of her life, she missed, her loss, now stay busy
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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My curiosity actually isn't a "is she into me?" thing (she's the one who friend-zoned me, and I've begun hanging out with someone new) - it's more a "does she think I'm a pushover that will just do anything?" thing. I don't handle disrespect well, and will be less good-natured in my responses if that is the case.
Ayy, good **** bro. This is the mentality that you have to have.
she is having second thoughts abot zoning you.. and she cant figure out why you are busting her chops when other guys would go make the coffee and deliver it to her desk. You have become a illogical challenge for her (girls love this)

tell her this...
"If you want coffee lets go to a cafe this weekend, you look nice today, cute." (walk away)
Helllllllllll NOOOOOOO. This is a horrible idea. Awful. Horrendous. Atrocious. Vile. Sickening. Abominable. Any other synonym you can think of. Have some self-****ing-respect. Jesus.
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@The LadyKiller she is doing this because she was td to know what route to take next with you:

She’s testing you because she wants to know whether you’re a simp or man. If you’re a simp, then she’d feel reassured in her decision of friendzoning you; if you’re a man, then she’d up the playfulness trying to get you back (or at the very least eat a power trip over ‘conquering’ a dude who isn’t a complete wuss).

The coffee thing wasn’t enough and became somewhat of an inside joke between you and her, so she had to up the ante and tell you about a date to see how you’d react.

In essence, she’s trying to decide whether she likes you or not because your reaction to being friend zoned wasn’t exactly what she expected. So she’s still trying to figure you out. Don’t let her.
 
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