Why improving your looks is ineffective in the long run

[Solomon]

Afaik It’s a double edged sword for women re the **** boys /gymbros/Chads they will go to them for sex, no doubts. But they know he won’t commit and is a waste of time beyond scratching their itch. That is true. They will usually **** those guys for a while or a string of them in their earlier years and then move on. Keeping that on the DL between them and their girlfriends.

Some won't don't move on, I know women in their 40s and 50s riding the Chad carousel cause they just recently got divorced and trying to gobble as much **** as they can or women who want the same thing they got when they are younger etc

 

[Cheeky_James]

Attraction and seduction is the combination of looks, money, status, and personality. I have promoted the idea that looks is the most important of those variables.

When a man improves his looks, he becomes less likely to get initially rejected and less likely to have sexless date interactions. In the short term, a looks improvement will help a man have better initial interactions.

Personality aspects become more relevant later in interactions. In the longer run, looks alone won't make as much of a difference, but it can help in the earlier stages of the mating dance.

Agreed 100%
Imoroving looks and image / identity, mainly grooming ,style and general fitness will have most impact on interactions - to make them go forward and progress or not.
After I read Malcolm Gladwells book “ Blink” and studied Joe Nararros body language stuff that became clear, as human beings we ‘Thin Slice’ other humans in seconds and give them relative values in all kinds of dimensions, ie a blink of an eye more or less.
a guy doing a pickup approach can be in or out in the blink of an eye . So yeah 100%.

game mainly works in the ‘maybe ‘ afaik ie hmm “not sure , more information required’. If it’s a green light “yes “ off the bat then just a bit of light flirting, some genuine interest and don’t anti-game or **** it up etc. it’s more logistics and availability then tbh, for dates or lays.

And also some game to ramp arousal to push for the same night lay if that’s the goal.

in theory anyways.

there were the Don Juan seducer legends of old Robert Greene talks about in his books and interviews. Apparently one was ugly but would say “ give me 5 minutes to explain away my ugly face, and I will bed the Queen Of France”

haven’t met such a guy in real life tho,

maybe there’s rare guys out there that do it ALL with language poetry emotions yada yada . All the reputed weaknesses of women. Dunno

 

[Cheeky_James]

All I can really attest to is that when I was in my twenties i had girlfriends and serial monogamist. I don’t recall too many chicks telling me I was charming and suave etc
But after a few years of mystery method type pickups and interactions .. I got that quite a bit,
Whatever ‘charming ‘ really means ., seductive., charisma blah blah. Captivating interest I suppose,

 

[BaronOfHair]

Apparently one was ugly but would say “ give me 5 minutes to explain away my ugly face, and I will bed the Queen Of France”

Malkovich in Dangerous Liasions

 

[Cheeky_James]

Malkovich in Dangerous Liasions

Yeah I just googled it , apparently it’s mis- attributed to Voltaire but then was taken up and used by coaches in the seduction industry, namely Ross Jeffries. lol. So yeah highly questionable .

 

[characternote]

there were the Don Juan seducer legends of old Robert Greene talks about in his books and interviews. Apparently one was ugly but would say “ give me 5 minutes to explain away my ugly face, and I will bed the Queen Of France”

haven’t met such a guy in real life tho,

maybe there’s rare guys out there that do it ALL with language poetry emotions yada yada . All the reputed weaknesses of women. Dunno

in movies and books, yes lol

 

[BaronOfHair]

Yeah I just googled it , apparently it’s mis- attributed to Voltaire but then was taken up and used by coaches in the seduction industry, namely Ross Jeffries. lol. So yeah highly questionable .

Jefferies was likely being cheeky, was taken by many more literally than he intended. If a fella is trying to explain away something to ANYONE(including to a broad who's poonany he's trying to access), he's qualifying, and thus "giving away his power"

 

[Cheeky_James]

Jefferies was likely being cheeky, was taken by many more literally than he intended. If a fella is trying to explain away something to ANYONE(including to a broad who's poonany he's trying to access), he's qualifying, and thus "giving away his power"

Truth

 

[BadBoy89]

It's a chemistry! Guys don't lie lol you feel it too I know you do! Which is why you sometimes choose to stay with the cray cray.

Maybe for different reasons than women do but that chemistry has got to be there.

Am I wrong?

Depends for what.

For sex? No there does not need to be chemistry for the guy. He just needs to be attracted. A man coild hate the woman’s personality and everything about her, and still have sex with her. A man can totally separate her personality from her looks if it’s about sex and babies.

For long term partner? Yes, there should been some chemistry but not even close to the what a woman wants in a man for long term partner.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Truth

And again, a man looks after his appearance and health primarily for HIMSELF

 

[Cheeky_James]

Some won't don't move on, I know women in their 40s and 50s riding the Chad carousel cause they just recently got divorced and trying to gobble as much **** as they can or women who want the same thing they got when they are younger etc

yknow this may be true. For these women , at this time. I’ve seen this recently with a friend of my exes who got divorced when she found out her husband cheated on her with a cam girl (unreal story). She’s been out on apps, hooking up with younger guys riding the carousel. I saw her on a kink app as a couple with a younger Chaddy dude looking for private party ‘fun’ and playmates blah blah.

but .. it’s just a phase . Women be promiscous at various points.. they gobble up **** like candy. Because (a)they can , they are the sexual selectors and to them “ guys are easy” (we are) and (b) because it’s a distraction from whatever happened (heartbreak / depression usually) and they get validated again. It’s done to build up their confidence and yeah ,good emotions and sex for sex sake , orgasms etc for sure.

But (i believe ) all women (unless damaged) are hard wired for relationships. It’s in their biology and physiology.

So it’s a common phase at various points in their lives. Then it gets vapid after a spell of time. Transactional and not much depth.

the problem with black pill type dudes is they get mega hung up on that. I’ve been in and out of a few forums like this. Dudes living deep in the Madonna -***** complex looking for “Quality” girls who have only had 1-3 LTRs (tops) and no slut phases . Ever,

they use Chad as the benchmark for everything and it’s toxic and warped AF imo.

“oh she’s been on the **** carousel = she is 110% gonna cheat “ hypergamy ! Hypergamy!

They are scared to death of being cut by a chick, ****ing pussies.

 

[Cheeky_James]

And again, a man looks after his appearance and health primarily for HIMSELF

Well yeah, but if a dude is a red blooded fella such as myself , he also does it to attract a “mate “ for mating purposes. I recently bought a quality awesome leather jacket. Yeah for myself but moreso to get attention. As I know it makes an impact with women .. and dudes too. Got about 20 glances from both sexes over the weekend. Got an invite to a party, got dudes sending me links to stuff and general ‘being magnetic ‘ type **** happening all a sudden (wow).

I like what Style and Mystery laid out in The Game / MM. the first step is to stand out and get noticed / get attention. Look interesting. That’s half the work or thereabouts. Then I just gotta play up to that, play to my strengths. have sex on my mind , put out the “vibe “ and get sexual tension going ..and have a dimension of ‘realness’ or authenticity to me. Have some depth.

well , that’s what’s worked in the past lol
I’m ****ing struggling these days .. but I’m not approaching and wasting time on a dating app.
Dating apps are ****ed!!

I tell ya my confidence has been going up and down like a yo-yo the last 2 months on this FEELD app. I’m coming to understand this is exactly what the app developers designed the apps to do, to make dudes start spending their sweet cash chasing a result. The apps are completely rigged my friend believes. They hide u from the shuffle and pings don’t make it through the other side etc. totally rigged like poker machines. It’s the Commitment and consistency principle of sales and influencing plus the intermittent reward tactics all the way…

so I’m binning those and getting back out into the real world with ma flash new brown leather jacket haha

“ excuse me ladies, I need a female opinion on something .. I only have a minute then I have to get back to my friends ..,” LOL

 

[Cheeky_James]

.

Yes, Chads can get away with almost anything. But here is the truth, you are not a Chad, and no amount of looks optimization will turn you into one. You need to build on your actual strengths, not chase an impossible standard.


TLDR: Looksmaxing can help but it is not the most effective way to become more attractive. Yes, you should go to the gym and take care of your appearance but that is only the beginning.

1000% agree re the Chad.
It’s funny I was recently sucked into watching this dating coach guy on YouTube named Casey Zander. Man I’m such a sucker. This guy appears to talk so much sense re women and have everything figured out. I was nodding my head off.

of course his first link in his comments is always a sales link to his SuperCourse of understanding women’s REAL TRUE nature and what the are REALLY attracted to. Blah blah.

Anyways I’m watching and reading comments from dudes on the vids “ spitting truth brah” “so glad I found this channel” rah rah then slapped myself.

this guy Zander in some of his vids with his cowboy hat shades and tank top looks like Ryan Goslings twin brother .. just with bigger biceps. And a bigger V taper. He’s an extemely good looking dude. Probably >6 foot Tall too. category =Chad.

of course he has it all figured out. He’s got no shortage of ***** looking his way with the **** me eyes. His behaviour works 100% .. In HIS world. But can an average guy learn that and apply it?

Absolutely not. Lolz.
Cos they won’t get attraction in the first place like ‘Casey Zander ‘. Or whatever his real name is .

he’s got a tattoo on his arm “get rich or die trying”
Says it all to me.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Yeah for myself but moreso to get attention

So... Despite physiologically being an adult male, you're operating with the mindset of a 14 year old girl, who never passes up an opportunity to go braless while rocking the tightest shirts ever created, so desperate is she to let everyone in the vicinity know she developed a rack over the summer

With great respect, you could benefit from a mindset revamping

 

[Cheeky_James]

So... Despite physiologically being an adult male, you're operating with the mindset of a 14 year old girl, who never passes up an opportunity to go braless while rocking the tightest shirts ever created, so desperate is she to let everyone in the vicinity know she developed a rack over the summer

With great respect, you could benefit from a mindset revamping

Dude. I am trying to get more play with /from women after a long hiatus (LTR ) and a build up of rust and mud in my general perception of dating and game with women,

Step 1 is always “ The Makeover”.
So your mindset re a previous post - I take care of my appearance for MYSELF only, with disregard for what anyone perceives of me, because., why exactly

what’s the basis of this belief btw where did u get inspired by these ideas ..is this supposedly Alpha Male thinking or something.

btw please give me a reference for this new mindset which Guru ought I be studying/listening to iyo (besides yourself)

 

[BaronOfHair]

what’s the basis of this belief btw where did u get inspired by these ideas ..

Reference the following chat

Women overestimate a man’s abundance

How many times have you had a cute girl act nervous and shy around you only for you to be desperate after the bar closes and the party ends? This phenomenon only exists during the social media age. After the party is over, a typical 6/10 woman can go online and enjoy her infinite validation and...

www.sosuave.net

Snagging first-rate women is one of the many delights which are, more often than not, byproducts of pursuing different goals

 

[Cheeky_James]

Reference the following chat

Women overestimate a man’s abundance

How many times have you had a cute girl act nervous and shy around you only for you to be desperate after the bar closes and the party ends? This phenomenon only exists during the social media age. After the party is over, a typical 6/10 woman can go online and enjoy her infinite validation and...

www.sosuave.net

Snagging first-rate women is one of the many delights which are, more often than not, byproducts of pursuing different goals

I skimmed the post.
It’s about escalating on a woman’s interest not mine.
What’s that got to do with wearing a leather jacket to get noticed in the first place?

 

[Solomon]

yknow this may be true. For these women , at this time. I’ve seen this recently with a friend of my exes who got divorced when she found out her husband cheated on her with a cam girl (unreal story). She’s been out on apps, hooking up with younger guys riding the carousel. I saw her on a kink app as a couple with a younger Chaddy dude looking for private party ‘fun’ and playmates blah blah.

but .. it’s just a phase . Women be promiscous at various points.. they gobble up **** like candy. Because (a)they can , they are the sexual selectors and to them “ guys are easy” (we are) and (b) because it’s a distraction from whatever happened (heartbreak / depression usually) and they get validated again. It’s done to build up their confidence and yeah ,good emotions and sex for sex sake , orgasms etc for sure.

But (i believe ) all women (unless damaged) are hard wired for relationships. It’s in their biology and physiology.

So it’s a common phase at various points in their lives. Then it gets vapid after a spell of time. Transactional and not much depth.

the problem with black pill type dudes is they get mega hung up on that. I’ve been in and out of a few forums like this. Dudes living deep in the Madonna -***** complex looking for “Quality” girls who have only had 1-3 LTRs (tops) and no slut phases . Ever,

they use Chad as the benchmark for everything and it’s toxic and warped AF imo.

“oh she’s been on the **** carousel = she is 110% gonna cheat “ hypergamy ! Hypergamy!

They are scared to death of being cut by a chick, ****ing pussies.

Blackpillers are delusional guys who want hot chicks but have nothing to offer so they cope with the LMS B.S. Notice these types never talk about spinning plates, they always talk LMS, and post a ton of stuff that isn't original. They sound like bots to me. If blackpillers had something to offer, women they wouldn't be struggling but why would a loser who is living in his momma's basement, with nacho cheese on his keyboard, on X all day or reddit spewing about how unfair life is cause that hot chick he wants doesn't even know he exists? I remember a guy on youtube lying about how he was an Italian Chad, come to find out he was a 55-year-old Indian living his momma's basement who was spewing a bunch of b.s. you got Elliot Rodger sympathizers on this forum as well, weirdo guys I would never hang out with nor would I expect a sane woman to hang out with those dorks either.

Nothing irritates me more than a man who lacks self-awareness and whiny It's no different than a fat chick with a pixie haircut crying about body shaming yet wants a guy who's in shape while she's not.

 

[jhonny9546]

the busy man belly.

In my experience, muscles and your physique are very attractive to women.

Let me understand, with your post, do you mean that a man with a belly has more self-confidence than others because of his "job," which leads to more "confidence," or simply more opportunities to learn "psychological tricks" from his job??

 

[jhonny9546]

I think you have to play with the tools the Gods gave you.

Sometimes you can't recognize your own strengths on your own, but you need SINCERE people to help you understand what you need to improve.

I don't understand the analogy with dad bods and sexy girls and porn.
What happened to you when a girl couldn't take her eyes off you happens to me often with women, and then they go have hot sex with their dad bod anyway.

They get horny for you, but ultimately they want to have sex with their "daddy."

There are things like imprinting that are too psychological for us to understand.