Why Don't You Guys Read This A Little

[BuckeyeBrigadier]

Sorry to bump this old thread but the posts made my DJF or John really resonated with me. What I want to know is, how exactly do you do all of this? I'm at a point where my confidence is at an all time low, my experience with women is about as much as the average 11 year-old (I'm 21), my shyness is somewhat crippling, and I'm absolutely terrible at social interaction. How, as a person do I find my "inner-balance" and find confidence to become at peace with myself?

 

[TheHumanist]

This is something I just have to post to say how much I approve of the message. There seems to be a big misunderstanding thinking it is saying to "just be yourself" along with some other misunderstandings, but I see the message. He is not discouraging self-improvement, he just saying when we self-improve ourselves, we need to do it for our own betterment, not for to get a girl.

Too many of the information here seems to be about getting laid and making women attracted to you. Other words, a successful sex life, but what about the romantic life? John recognizes that, I don't care that much on getting laid, but getting a girl to be on my side, the girl who loves me for me and not cause I do all the motions the bible taught me.

How funny, too, from my reading there seems to be two contradicting DJ, one is like the tread by photo 1, the person we should apply, being our best selves, not bending everything to the girl, while the other image I think is being created is to become (not just act) a person that maybe not a self-improved version, but a copy version from someone he saw.

(this is largely unrelated in terms of message, it just goes well with this)That is why I question things such as "challenge" I have to say, it is one thing to be busy and standing up for yourself, it is another thing to act like that to get the girl to like you. Unless you just want sex, you want the girl to like the you, not the image projected. Challenge is useful in initially getting the girl, but who the hell wants to keep the carot in front of her face for the rest of your life?

 

[Mr.Positive]

Hey everyone, first post here. Great board, great discussion.

For what it's worth, I completely understand what you are saying DJF. I believe the key to "being yourself" is being the man you want to be. Everyone defines success as something different. To some, fycking a lot of women, others wealth, others marriage/LTR, etc. To find inner balance, and gain confidence, start making goals that do not involve women. Goals that YOU want to do.

How? Take out a piece of paper and just throw out ideas. So of mine..I want to travell to Europe, did it. I want to climb a mountain, I climbed several. I decided I want to be a fireman, did it. I wanted to take an old sailboat and sail it on the ocean, done... I made these goals for myself, because to me, achieving them gave me success. And with each success, comes confidence, because YOU achieved the goal. That's how you find inner balance, is to learn who you are and not live for the praise of others.

On another note, if you goal is to fyck as many women as possible learning all these techniques will definitely help.. BUT, if you goal is true friendship, DJF is right on the money.