Why don't girls approach??

[Fuglydude]

I'm sure you've all experienced this:

You're out relaxing, chilling with your friends at a club/bar, and you have girl(s) giving you definite eye contact and looking your way regularly, and exhibiting other IOIs...but you're too tired/lazy at this time to initiate anything. Alternately, you may think that you're out of her league and therefore, don't bother to approach, etc.

My question is: Why don't the girls approach?

I've talked to my gf about this and she said that she'd never seriously go approach a guy at a bar, unless it was just to joke around, etc. I've also talked to a few other girls, and most have told me that they would not approach a guy in a bar.

Given the changing gender roles in society, and the apparent empowerment of women, I'm wondering why more women don't go out and approach...its like jeez, come and ask me to dance, I'm not gonna bite your head off. I've been approached by girls, many of whom aren't very attractive, and I've always treated them well, etc.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Hey bud, I think part of the reason for that is for 3 possiblilities:

1) They don't got the confidence to-Girls are more insecure than we think
2) They're too prideful-No matter how many who want to, just can't bring themselves to do it as society says men are suppose to
3) They just don't know how-Some just aren't conditioned

But as men, we should be the ones to approach. The b1tches get to choose via eye contact, but we have the power to meet them if we want.

 

[Jay Jay]

for the same reason most guys don't

they don't have balls.

jj

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Amen to what u both said! They just aren't confident enough to do it...thats why deep down, if u hold urself in a good frame, they got to respect u for going up to them. Its what they want.

 

[Fred Da Head]

I've been approached by attractive women. The numbers of times I've been approached are nothing compared to the number of times I've approached women, but it happens.

I think it has to do with the way you hold yourself. Think about it, women approach rock stars, rich guys, whatever, but they don't approach regular/mediocre guys. Why? Confidence. If you project confidence and have reasonably good looks, women WILL approach you. It might be 1 out of every 100 or even 1000 women you see when you're out there, but that 1% (or less) will approach you because they ARE interested; all you'll have to do is not screw up.

I think the reason they don't approach is the same as to why they flake/give fake numbers/whatever: low interest. Confidence and pride probably play a role too, as DonJose has pointed out.

 

[sparky0000]

I have had plenty of very nice girls approach me. I can't be the only one.

 

[Dannyrt34]

Every now and then, a girl will approach, even the best of looking girls will approach. It's all about how you look (not THE looks, but how you hold yourself). If you look like your very comfortable, and enjoying yourself, and the people that you are with seem to be having fun in your company. You are MORE likely to be approached....

Still pretty rare though.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

And even then, if they show high interest...some girls truly don't got the balls to. But for the rock stars, etc...are they perfectly sober or got liquor in them...as ive seen girls approach when they go alcohol in them, even approaching me most of the time.

 

[knglerxt]

I've been approached by attractive women. The numbers of times I've been approached are nothing compared to the number of times I've approached women, but it happens.

I think it has to do with the way you hold yourself. Think about it, women approach rock stars, rich guys, whatever, but they don't approach regular/mediocre guys. Why? Confidence. If you project confidence and have reasonably good looks, women WILL approach you. It might be 1 out of every 100 or even 1000 women you see when you're out there, but that 1% (or less) will approach you because they ARE interested; all you'll have to do is not screw up.

I think the reason they don't approach is the same as to why they flake/give fake numbers/whatever: low interest. Confidence and pride probably play a role too, as DonJose has pointed out.

From my experience, outside of a bar or club setting you can pretty much forget being approached by women. Probably the only reason it happens in a bar is the fact that alcohol is involved.

I get looks from girls all the time, but I never get approached. I'm not an ugly guy, either.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

some girls try to show low interest on purpose as some would feel "Embarrased" if they got caught showing their true intentions, hence why some when u can see are looking at u for a couple of seconds look away with a disinterested/snobbish look when u look at them but in reality...they're flustered ;-) and then look at u again, even after u approach when in a group, etc.

 

[rakishness]

they don't have balls.

jj

EXACTLY!!!!! That why men have them!!! I thought this was obvious.

 

[penkitten]

Hey bud, I think part of the reason for that is for 3 possiblilities:

1) They don't got the confidence to-Girls are more insecure than we think

3) They just don't know how-Some just aren't conditioned

those are things i know i went thru. however, some of us learn to go up and say hi to someone or make the first moves. we still prefer the guys to come up to us in the first place.

 

[Chosen1]

EXACTLY!!!!! That why men have them!!! I thought this was obvious.

Some girls do tend to have balls. Umm, so to speak, when I worked at a certain store a girl just handed this guy her number. I was a cashier she was a bagger (they donn't have baggers anymore). I got pissed because no girl had did that ever to me without me having to ask or at least suggesting it. I'm not mad any more but I think this girl was whory or a slvt as some of you would put it.

 

[Chosen1]

Oh, wait scratch that I was approached once I think by a girl. No offense to anyone but I think she was mentally slow.

 

[lookyoung]

Woman will actually approach guys. I have been approached quite a few times, but have approached woman more than they have approached me. Woman will approach a guy if they think he is super goodlooking, has status, rich, famous etc.................................


Woman will not approach you if they think you are ok or cute. But if a womans dream guy is colin farrel and you look like him she will approach you.


If Leonardo Dicaprio walks into a nightclub he will get approached.

 

[Fuglydude]

Well we get approached all the time when we're working. When you do a show at a club (I'm a part of a male revue group)...ya its like an instant opportunity to advertise urself, and there's ample social proof (girls cheering for you), etc. At times when you do shows in smaller towns when such an event is rare you do feel like a mini-celebrity of sorts...its like..man I can't believe i get paid for this shiznitt! But I'm talking regularly, when you're at a club on off nights.

Regularly though, when I'm at a club as a civilian, anytime I have had girls, say HB8 or better approach me, its always been via unconventional means...like they'll have their friend push them into you, or grab your ass, etc.

Even in settings outside of bars I never have chics approach me in "conventional" ways...one time on a crowded bus during rush hour (I looked like total crap)...I had a chic tell me: "You have a really nice tush." One time at the park when I was tanning and walking around I had a couple of 16 year old girls be like "Hey baby" and "Whats' cookn good lookn", before their little bro piped up "hey! that's not right, he's a fully grown man and you're 16 years old!". Haha, maybe its just me...I guess i'm a weirdo magnet!

 

[lookyoung]

Fugly dude yeah I kind of get your point now. I get approached all the time in my social circle. The way it happens is girls friend will come up to me and tell me this girl thinks your hot.


At clubs girls will usually=

1. Grab a guys ass
2. Start dancing with you.
3. Look at me with the I want to fvck you look.
4. Whisper and giggle with there friends while looking at you.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Women do NOT approach men - but they will give you signals for YOU to approach! However; Hors are blatant and will approach you!! They want sex!!!

 

[thickandcreamy]

You are a bitter old fool. Stop trolling.

Women do NOT approach men - but they will give you signals for YOU to approach! However; Hors are blatant and will approach you!! They want sex!!!

 

[FurryFriend]

Girls approach all the time, but not in the way guys do.

Guys can blatantly approach a stranger and try to get a number. This kind of approach is unheard of for women to perform. It's part of the female DNA to avoid risk and damage to ego.

But girls will flirt with someone she already somewhat knows and, in a roundabout way, get a phone number or get touchy. It's far more subtle.