Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Do you have a solution for me alle?Alle_Gory said:Good you're getting it. Now don't lose hope. Like I said, you need experience.
Firstly you need to calm the fvck down. Chicks don't like guys to be more emotional then they are. You're supposed to be like a rock. Calm and collected when she goes nuts... because she's female and emotional. They crave that stability and its supposed to come from you, the man. So calm down and work through all that junk you have inside you. Don't try to supress it but rather understand why you're feeling that way (desperate, anxious, like you want to be super nice) and figure out whether its the right or the wrong thing for you to be feeling like.
Now as far as this girl, ok so she lost interest. So you take a step back and try again. Do not set up a date or any commitment. You're taking a step back and trying to sell your company to her again. What did you do before to get her interest? Before the date. Way before.
I won't tell you what to do.... unless you're WAY off. It's up to you to find a solution.pikachu69 said:Do you have a solution for me alle?![]()
I hear what you're saying. Here's the plan, I'm going to look for other plates while keeping this 1 in mind. I saw her last thursday, did the obvious mistakes trying to set up a valentines date on the 1st date acted nervous etc. told her to let me know how her exam went she said she'd text me the next day how it went, she didn't. obvious sign of low/no interest. i should keep this in mind, really, she should be the 1 to contact me right?Alle_Gory said:I won't tell you what to do.... unless you're WAY off. It's up to you to find a solution.
Now as far as this chick, who cares what she wants? She's not someone close to you so it shouldn't matter. Worry about yourself in the meantime and how you're supposed to be behaving with her as if she was a regular chick.
Like a regular chick, she wants to get f*cked. But not by anyone. Someone who is an attractive male. Not attractive. Attractive male. And that means treating her like she's female. Not a person. Female.
Lots of guys fall into the AFC trap because they think chicks want to be treated equally. They don't. Deep inside they don't. Which is why they fall for the jers and the a*holes. They treat them like women. Badly but at least they acknowledge their feminity... which is the most important thing in the world to them.
Should I just not bother calling her then and move onto the other girl from the party?squirrels said:It's none of your damned business.
What would you have done if she had said, "I have a boyfriend, but I'm OK with cheating on him", and then dropped her panties right there?
You probably would've f*cked her, right?
By correcting herself, she was saying that she was available to you. That's all you need to know. Whether or not some dude would be upset at her for it...that's HER business, not yours.
A girl's LTR-status does NOT always correlate to her "availability" for physical intimacy. It should, in a perfect world, but it doesn't. As the "Don Juan", you aren't trying to find out if someone else has a claim on her or not. What you're trying to find out is whether she is available to YOU.
You're using that ring-thing as an excuse for rejecting yourself and going on the defensive with this girl.
Don't excuse it...you f'd up. It's OKAY to F up...that's how we learn. Those first couple of dates are supposed to teach you what NOT to do. But if you sit around making excuses for why you did this and why you didn't do that, you're going to find some way to justify the SAME chumpish behavior with the NEXT girl...and that's not moving you closer to your goal.
Oh my dear God...how drunk WERE you when you posted this? It looks like a typewriter barfed on my screen. Words, sentences and paragraphs.
Although I only had to read the first 4 words to know that you're just digging yourself a deeper hole. Tex of 'hey sorry ....weak-sauce. Give up on this one and learn your lesson for the next.
Valentine's Day?? Jeezus.![]()
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
do you think the text im considering sending in my post above is a bad idea?Alle_Gory said:I won't tell you what to do.... unless you're WAY off. It's up to you to find a solution.
Now as far as this chick, who cares what she wants? She's not someone close to you so it shouldn't matter. Worry about yourself in the meantime and how you're supposed to be behaving with her as if she was a regular chick.
Like a regular chick, she wants to get f*cked. But not by anyone. Someone who is an attractive male. Not attractive. Attractive male. And that means treating her like she's female. Not a person. Female.
Lots of guys fall into the AFC trap because they think chicks want to be treated equally. They don't. Deep inside they don't. Which is why they fall for the jers and the a*holes. They treat them like women. Badly but at least they acknowledge their feminity... which is the most important thing in the world to them.
Well not calling within the normal 2-5 day time frame for a 2nd date could be considered as doing something wrong?Alle_Gory said:Don't apologize unless you believe you did something wrong.
Did she contact you? Then forget her.
Yeah but when you are thinking about her 24/7 and posting on this board about her, when you finally talk to her you will sound like a desperate loser, she will knowpikachu69 said:Well not calling within the normal 2-5 day time frame for a 2nd date could be considered as doing something wrong?
it just creates the facade im not a desperate loser and she's still in my thoughts but i wasn't going to call so soon.
i haven't called her yet. i dont know when is the best time to do it.
Nope.pikachu69 said:Well not calling within the normal 2-5 day time frame for a 2nd date could be considered as doing something wrong?
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.