Why does this happen to mee

[cNfny]

I find myself feeling completely hollow mentally when around certain people mostly girls who talk about their interests/hobbies that I myself have either never heard of or find little significance in.

Point is this type of stuff makes me feel a lack of hobbies in my life, almost unworthy to them. Its stupid I know but I can't shake it sometimes. It might also have to do with thinking I should know about these hobbies that others share, as if I'm alientated from the world. Its weird but brings my self worth down and I have to fake security. Help!

 

[cNfny]

No one?

 

[Sun Tzu]

Let's start with the basics. What, in your opinion, is the reason or reasons that you have no hobbies?

Do you have any interests that you could turn into a hobby?

Also, when conversing with others do you take a genuine interest in them? If not, you will need to learn to make that mental shift. We can help.

Sun Tzu

 

[cNfny]

Do you have any interests that you could turn into a hobby?

as of now, i would say this whole mastering women thing could fall under that category.

when conversing with others do you take a genuine interest in them?

yes and that is the reason why i sometimes feel inept. it's more so thinking i should know little of everything in the world, its a rough demand i give to myself. i can let other's interests make them have higher value than me, like wow they know something i dont. its a really weird situation.

 

[reset]

You have to find something that interests you just as much (if not more) than women.

Can you imagine a world like that?

 

[cNfny]

You have to find something that interests you just as much (if not more) than women.

Can you imagine a world like that?

i've come to that realization today actually. i've been putting way too much time constraint on mastering all this and finding a girl to hold on to. it's blurred my vision to anything else. i might have been falling into the "i need a girl to bring me happiness/allow me to enjoy other perks of life" bs. trying to shake it.

 

[reset]

Find something you love to do and learn to master it. For me, that's music. It's something that brings me joy, and that I can always improve while practicing. It's like, with a girl I'll always be working on becoming a better composer. Without a girl, I'll always be working on becoming a better composer. It's there for me no matter what happens.

Find something that just turns you on, preferably something you could see yourself making a living at, because that will motivate you to become better.

But even if it's just to have fun, then do it to have fun. The act in itself will take your mind off women. It's tough, but the more you TRY to get women, and TRY to figure them out, the less engaged you are with your own life.

I still fall into this trap, but everytime I start working on a song, it's like my perspective comes right back and I realize how women are just a small part of life. An important part, but they aren't the whole thing.

I compare it to a puzzle. They are one piece. And while you need that one piece to complete the puzzle, without the other pieces, you still have an incomplete puzzle.

 

[cNfny]

great advice reset.

my biggest problem that pushes me into this mentality are my friends. i'm the only single one in the group and i contemplate if i have too high of standards or my luck is just shy of a gold medal.

 

[xdreamz]

'mastering women'
haha this was funny to me i don't know why..

but yea a key step towards happiness is appreciation. a lot of people they wait for someone or something to make them happy. what happens from this is that they turn into a roller coaster, they're up one day and down the next. so it's important in life to appreciate everything you have, everything you get and naturally you will receive more.

 

[cNfny]

a lot of people they wait for someone or something to make them happy. what happens from this is that they turn into a roller coaster, they're up one day and down the next.

right on about how i feel man.