Why does having to approach women have to be so complicated?

[MrConfidence]

I'm saying though, it would be so easy if you could just go up to a girl and say "Hey, what's up?". But no, approaching women involves learning a whole new set of techniques, and putting yourself in positions you're not comfortable with. Hell, I'm starting to just forget about girls, and being social, you know why? It's to damn complicated, and it's to hard to become social, when you're not social. So what if I don't screw that senior chick, who's going to graduate this year? I'm still a cool guy, I've still got my talents, and I'm still cool, becoming a Don Juan really is too stressful. When I approach women, it feels almost as if I'm doing it as a job, or something, almost as if I don't want to approach girls because of how complicated it is. You know, I can't just go up to her, and say "What do you think of the game so far?" or in a situation like last night at the football game, "How's the game going?", no, I have to pull some slick canned ice breaker to get anywhere with the girl. I also feel that some of the techniques on this site, are just not me, which is why I feel so uncomfortable using some techniques, and I don't feel that I should have to make these techniques apart of my personality, so what? I can get some girl? Nah.

 

[donjuanjovi]

Why do you have to pull some "slick canned ice breaker" to get anywhere? Is that what you think? Or is that your interpretation from reading this site? Ever tried just talking to a girl like it was a guy? Not having a grand scheme to get them into bed, but just wanting to get to know someone new? Try it, it will work better than you think. There's nothing wrong with going up to a girl and asking her what she thinks of the game so far. She's not going to spit on you! She'll most likely tell you what she thinks of the game unless you look like a pedophile. If there's no spark and nothing becomes of it than GREAT. You didn't get laid but you just met a new person. Women are not some bank vault that you have to crack through in order to get the loot. They're just people like you or me.

 

[MrConfidence]

Why do you have to pull some "slick canned ice breaker" to get anywhere? Is that what you think? Or is that your interpretation from reading this site? Ever tried just talking to a girl like it was a guy? Not having a grand scheme to get them into bed, but just wanting to get to know someone new? Try it, it will work better than you think. There's nothing wrong with going up to a girl and asking her what she thinks of the game so far. She's not going to spit on you! She'll most likely tell you what she thinks of the game unless you look like a pedophile. If there's no spark and nothing becomes of it than GREAT. You didn't get laid but you just met a new person. Women are not some bank vault that you have to crack through in order to get the loot. They're just people like you or me.

I'm just under the impression that if I don't pull some "slick canned opener", or say something funny then I won't get anywhere with the girl. I like that idea of talking to girls like you would other guys though, definitely trying it when Monday comes around. But if your saying I don't need a slick well thought out opener, or C+F to get somewhere with a girl, that's definitely a good thing, because I suck at doing those, and they're just not me.

 

[Sexual]

Don't make it seem like a chore bro. No fear, no regrets. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. Techniques? Fawk no. Live and learn how to be a man from the dj bible, through trial and error, and through overcoming adversity.

Btw, your name is Mr. Confidence. BECOME IT.

 

[MrConfidence]

Well, thanks for all the advice, I'm definitely at least going to try and use it on Monday. I'm just going go up to a random girl, or maybe some girl I've had my eye on, and say "Hey, how's it going?". How do you get over caring if a really hot girl rejects you though? For instance, in band there's this blonde HB9 that I've got my eyes on(hottest girl in the school IMO), and I'm afraid that if she rejects me, I'll never find another girl like her, and thus, that's why I'm afraid to approach her. We've already had encounters before(Helped me pick up something I dropped once. Caught her giving me EC once.), but I'm still afraid to approach her. Back to my previous question, how do I get over it, if one of those once in a blue moon, girls rejects me? Do I just move on to other girls, and act like she was nothing special?

 

[Mr_rogers]

Well, thanks for all the advice, I'm definitely at least going to try and use it on Monday. I'm just going go up to a random girl, or maybe some girl I've had my eye on, and say "Hey, how's it going?". How do you get over caring if a really hot girl rejects you though? For instance, in band there's this blonde HB9 that I've got my eyes on(hottest girl in the school IMO), and I'm afraid that if she rejects me, I'll never find another girl like her, and thus, that's why I'm afraid to approach her. We've already had encounters before(Helped me pick up something I dropped once. Caught her giving me EC once.), but I'm still afraid to approach her. Back to my previous question, how do I get over it, if one of those once in a blue moon, girls rejects me? Do I just move on to other girls, and act like she was nothing special?

You get over rejection by realizing that she's one of billions of women on the planet. If you understand that if you get rejected it's HER loss, you're in good shape.

I'm just curious, but have you ever actually been rejected before? I seem to remember you saying that conversations die out after only a few words are exchanged, but nothing about any girls actually rejecting you. Let me know.

One final suggestion, I think it's a great idea for you to start a journal like some of the other users here, so people can give you tips and tell you how to improve on your day-to-day DJing. Don't give up. It isn't worth giving up all of the good things because you're uncomfortable and discouraged.

 

[MrConfidence]

You get over rejection by realizing that she's one of billions of women on the planet. If you understand that if you get rejected it's HER loss, you're in good shape.

I'm just curious, but have you ever actually been rejected before? I seem to remember you saying that conversations die out after only a few words are exchanged, but nothing about any girls actually rejecting you. Let me know.

One final suggestion, I think it's a great idea for you to start a journal like some of the other users here, so people can give you tips and tell you how to improve on your day-to-day DJing. Don't give up. It isn't worth giving up all of the good things because you're uncomfortable and discouraged.

I actually haven't been rejected before, but most of my approaches that I've made have been crappy. Usually I'd go up to the girl, say "Hey, how's it going?", she gives me a one word answer, I try to recover the conversation, and boom, silence.

 

[Mr_rogers]

I actually haven't been rejected before, but most of my approaches that I've made have been crappy. Usually I'd go up to the girl, say "Hey, how's it going?", she gives me a one word answer, I try to recover the conversation, and boom, silence.

Heh, well, you're doing better than other people on this board in that way, I guess.

Thing is, you're asking a closed end question. "Hey, how's it going?" isn't open ended. There are only a few ways to answer it, and it really doesn't promote a lot of conversation.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Fine."

Yeah. That sucks, doesn't it? Try something else. There are tons of examples on this site.

 

[08aisaac]

Lol I got a ****load better when I stopped floating at the boards and started living life on the edge and enjoying life. And now I'm better than most people I know and I know more than most people I know. Just get out there and practice.

 

[penkitten]

it is complicated because people are making it out to be more complicated than it is.

let this thread serve as a reminder that things are what you make them.

 

[MrConfidence]

Well, today is Monday morning, and later today, when I go to school, I'm definitely going to try, and get some approaches in. I'm basically thinking about just going up to a random girl, and starting conversation with:

Me: Hey, how's it going?
Girl will most likely than say "Good", or just be rude.
If the girl says "Good", I'll follow up with, "So what did you do this weekend?"

 

[oakraiderz2]

Youre at it again...

 

[MrConfidence]

Youre at it again...

I'm not at anything. The only think I'm at is finally getting the balls to approach girls after all those repetitive threads I had on my previous accounts. Don't really care if you think I'm real, or not, because at the end of the day I can say with confidence that I am real and several people can back it up. The hell if you don't think I'm real, you don't know me.

 

[WesCottII]

Jesus man. This is the only time i'll post on here, but...you said (and I quote) "you won't see me for a very long time". That was about 3 days ago. Quit moaning, and get something done.

 

[Mr_rogers]

Jesus man. This is the only time i'll post on here, but...you said (and I quote) "you won't see me for a very long time". That was about 3 days ago. Quit moaning, and get something done.

Mike, ignore him. Just do what you were going to do.

And as another word of advice, when someone says something like this, don't even respond to them. Just forget it. You're giving them what they want, and that's to piss you off.

 

[MrConfidence]

Jesus man. This is the only time i'll post on here, but...you said (and I quote) "you won't see me for a very long time". That was about 3 days ago. Quit moaning, and get something done.

No I didn't, that was like monthes ago.

I don't think there's really any place to approach girls in school though. Their either busy, with their friends, or just seem unapproachable. In the hallways, they're busy walking to class, during lunch their busy eating, and talking to their friends, guess I could approach them in class, but I know all the girls in my classes. I could approach girls before band practice though, since I don't know too many of the girls in band well. I could also approach girls during Friday night football games, since there are going to be a ton of girls I don't know their, even girls from other schools.

 

[LegendBoy]

Approaching isn't hard, I have noticed if you approach people quietish places like library then they are more likely to be pleasant where as the mall is hustle and bustle and girls try to put an act on for there gfs.

That is why I believe approaching singular girls is MUCH easier. I would only approach a set if my dream girl i mean dream was there so ye.

It is easy, if there interested they will be even more shy then you so just go near them and say " Hey you looked kind of bored, hows it going" i like that one.

 

[WesCottII]

*ahem* From the other thread.

Anyway, since you guys have to act like assh*les every time I ask a simple question, you probably won't be seeing me again(whether on this account, or another), until I actually have something to contribute(For instance, a field report).

 

[Mitch_Mustain]

I'm saying though, it would be so easy if you could just go up to a girl and say "Hey, what's up?". But no, approaching women involves learning a whole new set of techniques, and putting yourself in positions you're not comfortable with. Hell, I'm starting to just forget about girls, and being social, you know why? It's to damn complicated, and it's to hard to become social, when you're not social. So what if I don't screw that senior chick, who's going to graduate this year? I'm still a cool guy, I've still got my talents, and I'm still cool, becoming a Don Juan really is too stressful. When I approach women, it feels almost as if I'm doing it as a job, or something, almost as if I don't want to approach girls because of how complicated it is. You know, I can't just go up to her, and say "What do you think of the game so far?" or in a situation like last night at the football game, "How's the game going?", no, I have to pull some slick canned ice breaker to get anywhere with the girl. I also feel that some of the techniques on this site, are just not me, which is why I feel so uncomfortable using some techniques, and I don't feel that I should have to make these techniques apart of my personality, so what? I can get some girl? Nah.

I totally understand where you're coming from but instead of blaming **** for your lack of girls why dont you stop focusing so much on this and just take everything in stride. See thats the paradox with women and having game. The harder you try when it comes to women the less of a real human you're being. Relax. You need to work on yourself man and just chill back but dont be an introvert. this is when the women will get curious about you and from there its all about how you play your cards. Dude, do you ever just relax with women and just say stupid **** on purpose and push them around in a playful way? if you dont you need to. **** canned openers dude. I believe that the key to p*ssy is ultimately through who you know man at your present moment and when you get better and better with women and less nervous around new people, this is when you can go for the street pickups and all that jazz. Does it not sound logical?

 

[Vincent]

You don't even ask a question in the OP. You just rant and complain about the same things you've been complaining about for months.

I still don't see a change.