The Comeback Kid
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 4, 2005
- Messages
- 591
- Reaction score
- 5
Over the past few weeks (since winter break), I've picked up on something people have been asking me. At first, I thought it was just a normal question. However, a few people from different social circles - a guy I get along with on my floor, one of my new friends, and the best friend of the girl I like for example, have asked me the same question, and I honestly do not know what I am doing to make them ask it:
'TCK, are you in a frat?" When someone asks this, usually going through my mind is: :crackup: :crackup:
No, I am not in a Fraternity here at college. Only about 10% of the student body here even lives Greek, but the frat houses do hold most of the big parties.
What is on my mind though is why people would think I am in a frat. I don't think many of my traits match up to those of a frat guy:
- I don't want anymore of this "high school bs" at college. I don't understand cliques - I try to get along with everyone I meet. In my mind, frats = cliques.
- The whole frat lifestyle at my school is undesirable IMO. You get hazed, you have to do things against your will, there's a political system in every frat, and you have to QUALIFY to even be invited to join the frat.
- I could never work at a frat party. I'd let everybody in and I'd serve drinks to whoever's cup I see first, regardless of gender. The only two times I'd not let someone in is if they're causing fights with everyone, or if the house is so crowded it becomes a dangerous hazard.
- I don't drink nearly enough to do something regrettable. I drink in moderation...I want to have a good time, but not because I am drunk.
-I am in no way a womanizer. I don't force myself on women at all. I fact, I am closer to being too shy than too aggressive. I am not really experienced either. I try to have normal, everyday conversations with women, and I don't talk to women just to get with them.
-I also see most frat guys as: self-centered, arrogant/****y, insecure, guys who put too much value in women, and they feel they have more "power" than other people simply because they are in a frat.
Meanwhile, some characteristics I do have that I feel may make people think I am in a frat:
- I am confident in my actions, and will try to do what's right, even if it is against popular demand. If I am offered a short-term benefit for doing something I feel is wrong or a long-term benefit later on for something I feel is right, I will take the latter every single time.
- I have an athletic build. Ok, maybe this isn't that big of a deal, but it seems a lot of frat guys obsess about going to the gym, and they flaunt it too. I only go to the gym to improve myself (I don't need to make a show of it). In fact, I try to go to the gym when no one else is around.
- I am a leader among my friends. When we go out at school, I usually am the one who knows where to go, what to do, when to leave (either the dorms or the party), etc.
- I network well. I learned this one from my dad and my experiences with internships and such, but I try to have as many contacts as I can. It always pays to be nice to someone unless they're being mean to you. Even then, it doesn't pay to start something; simply take the high road.
- I handle myself well with frat guys, and I have a good idea of how the Fraternity system works. Maybe this is it. I know a few frat guys (so it doesn't apply when I am talking to them), but at parties, I am unfazed by someone just because they're in the frat. I don't get scared, I don't run, I don't try to start a fight. I believe words solve most college problems, so if something comes up, I calmly talk to the brother(s) involved and there are no further issues. As for knowing how things work, I know enough frat guys to understand what really goes on.
So, what do you guys think? I don't know whether to treat the question, "Are you in a frat?" or "I'm surprised you aren't in a frat" as a compliment or as an insult. Maybe there is something I didn't hit on, or maybe there is something you can make out of this post - all thoughts are appreciated.
'TCK, are you in a frat?" When someone asks this, usually going through my mind is: :crackup: :crackup:
No, I am not in a Fraternity here at college. Only about 10% of the student body here even lives Greek, but the frat houses do hold most of the big parties.
What is on my mind though is why people would think I am in a frat. I don't think many of my traits match up to those of a frat guy:
- I don't want anymore of this "high school bs" at college. I don't understand cliques - I try to get along with everyone I meet. In my mind, frats = cliques.
- The whole frat lifestyle at my school is undesirable IMO. You get hazed, you have to do things against your will, there's a political system in every frat, and you have to QUALIFY to even be invited to join the frat.
- I could never work at a frat party. I'd let everybody in and I'd serve drinks to whoever's cup I see first, regardless of gender. The only two times I'd not let someone in is if they're causing fights with everyone, or if the house is so crowded it becomes a dangerous hazard.
- I don't drink nearly enough to do something regrettable. I drink in moderation...I want to have a good time, but not because I am drunk.
-I am in no way a womanizer. I don't force myself on women at all. I fact, I am closer to being too shy than too aggressive. I am not really experienced either. I try to have normal, everyday conversations with women, and I don't talk to women just to get with them.
-I also see most frat guys as: self-centered, arrogant/****y, insecure, guys who put too much value in women, and they feel they have more "power" than other people simply because they are in a frat.
Meanwhile, some characteristics I do have that I feel may make people think I am in a frat:
- I am confident in my actions, and will try to do what's right, even if it is against popular demand. If I am offered a short-term benefit for doing something I feel is wrong or a long-term benefit later on for something I feel is right, I will take the latter every single time.
- I have an athletic build. Ok, maybe this isn't that big of a deal, but it seems a lot of frat guys obsess about going to the gym, and they flaunt it too. I only go to the gym to improve myself (I don't need to make a show of it). In fact, I try to go to the gym when no one else is around.
- I am a leader among my friends. When we go out at school, I usually am the one who knows where to go, what to do, when to leave (either the dorms or the party), etc.
- I network well. I learned this one from my dad and my experiences with internships and such, but I try to have as many contacts as I can. It always pays to be nice to someone unless they're being mean to you. Even then, it doesn't pay to start something; simply take the high road.
- I handle myself well with frat guys, and I have a good idea of how the Fraternity system works. Maybe this is it. I know a few frat guys (so it doesn't apply when I am talking to them), but at parties, I am unfazed by someone just because they're in the frat. I don't get scared, I don't run, I don't try to start a fight. I believe words solve most college problems, so if something comes up, I calmly talk to the brother(s) involved and there are no further issues. As for knowing how things work, I know enough frat guys to understand what really goes on.
So, what do you guys think? I don't know whether to treat the question, "Are you in a frat?" or "I'm surprised you aren't in a frat" as a compliment or as an insult. Maybe there is something I didn't hit on, or maybe there is something you can make out of this post - all thoughts are appreciated.