So there's this girl that I've been working on. I could tell that she is into me. But I asked her out a two times before and she declined. This is the same one from my last post and she actually did come back. But still she is very shy everytime I run into her. I text her a couple times a week. I keep the convos brief and interesting. Also there is a mutual friend. She talks to our mutual friend a lot and I get the feeling that it's to siphon information about me. But I still feel like this girl is holding back. She's into me but isn't giving me the opportunity to make things happen. Anyone know why a girl might behave this way? Since she texted me back after what happened and said it was cool and agreed with me saying that we're friends does that mean I should try to ask her out again?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Why does a girl behave this way
- Thread starter AlphaNoob
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Infern0
Master Don Juan
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If she's into you she will give you the opportunity to make things happen.
2 blow offs
Mentioned the word "friends"
she's in last chance saloon
Stop initiating texts, next time she texts you say something like "so I guess you want to hang out " in a light hearted way, if yes set a date, if no its time to move on.
It doesn't matter if she's shy or why she is behaving the way she is. It's not important and it's not upto you to figure it out. If you don't strike quickly I predict before long you find out there's another guy smashing.
Simples
2 blow offs
Mentioned the word "friends"
she's in last chance saloon
Stop initiating texts, next time she texts you say something like "so I guess you want to hang out " in a light hearted way, if yes set a date, if no its time to move on.
It doesn't matter if she's shy or why she is behaving the way she is. It's not important and it's not upto you to figure it out. If you don't strike quickly I predict before long you find out there's another guy smashing.
Simples
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
She likes you but you are not her first choice. There is another dude that she likes better.
Don't initiate anything wait for her to reach out to you. When she does, try to make a date.... if she won't go out with you then she is nothing to you. Don't be her fvcking friend.
I suspect she would like to keep you as an orbiter. Women do this with men they like, that they THINK might be an option, but the problem is that once you agree to be an 'orbiter' she doesn't really respect you, and without respect, there can be no romance.
Don't initiate anything wait for her to reach out to you. When she does, try to make a date.... if she won't go out with you then she is nothing to you. Don't be her fvcking friend.
I suspect she would like to keep you as an orbiter. Women do this with men they like, that they THINK might be an option, but the problem is that once you agree to be an 'orbiter' she doesn't really respect you, and without respect, there can be no romance.
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
If you really want her badly enough, then go to your mutual friend and ask him/her about the chick. This friend will ask why, you simply say cuz you think she's interested but she declines if you ask her out. Then say something like "no big deal. I'm done with her now" or something like that. Then change the topic.
Your mutual friend will tell the chick what you said. Go NC on this girl unless she comes up to you IN PERSON. If you see her ever again, act like she's invisible and don't acknowledge her unless (like I said before) she comes up to you. Its her turn to do the chasing now. :kick:
I personally would just leave her alone and ignore her till the end of time. I don't get bothered by such petty behavior.
"Ain't nobody got time fo dat!"
Your mutual friend will tell the chick what you said. Go NC on this girl unless she comes up to you IN PERSON. If you see her ever again, act like she's invisible and don't acknowledge her unless (like I said before) she comes up to you. Its her turn to do the chasing now. :kick:
I personally would just leave her alone and ignore her till the end of time. I don't get bothered by such petty behavior.
"Ain't nobody got time fo dat!"
Skyline
Master Don Juan
This is pretty much accurate.RangerMIke said:
I'm in a similar situation as you are OP, and I've done all I can but I know there is another guy. She's one of my co workers and we see each other every weekend and she's already tried "friend zoning" me but I told her that we wouldn't make good friends with a smirk. It's kind of cute to be honest, she's trying really hard to hold back. Me flirting doesn't really help her either...
Our best bet is to wait for her to reach out and spin plates. Oh yeah, don't be an orbiter!
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
foreverAFC
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she isnt into youAlphaNoob said:
nismo-4
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Easy ass case for Judge nismo.
She doesn't see you as top priority. So she's keeping you around as a beta orbiter.
Women who behave this way are not interested in you. No woman is shy. She sure as hell wouldn't be shy if Brad Pitt came along.
Forget this girl entirely unless you like being her little beta puppet. Accept that she's in or eyeing another castle and move on!
Case closed. Exit the courtroom.
She doesn't see you as top priority. So she's keeping you around as a beta orbiter.
Women who behave this way are not interested in you. No woman is shy. She sure as hell wouldn't be shy if Brad Pitt came along.
Forget this girl entirely unless you like being her little beta puppet. Accept that she's in or eyeing another castle and move on!
Case closed. Exit the courtroom.
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
Not quite. A girl still might be shy around someone like Brad Pitt or Channing Tatum, just because they think 'holy **** this famous movie star is talking to me' and if a girl is into you enough, she won't even cheat on you w/ someone such as those two guys.nismo-4 said:
But then again, its pretty hard to get girls like that.......
Guys I should've mentioned this before, but she did agree on a date after declining me two times. She agreed in a shy way but there was a smile. Also, maybe my friend told her that I'm not looking for a relationship. I don't really care about the outcomes of me and her but do you guys think that a girl would hold back if they know that you don't want a relationship just avoid any emotional investment?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Typically no, there are always exceptions, but most emotionally healthy women do not avoid men that are not looking for a relationship, quite the opposite really. They are more attracted to men that are indifferent to them.AlphaNoob said:
Later as they develop feelings for guys that are distant, and if the guys do not respond, then they may break up or stop dating men that will not commit to them. But again it is VERY hard for an emotional healthy woman to walk away from a man that is challenging.
Skyline
Master Don Juan
That doesn't matter... Nismo-4 is spot on about a woman seeing you as a top priority- if you're the top then she won't confuse you. RangerMike is also right... The best move would be to wait for her to reach out to you while you talk to other girls.AlphaNoob said:
Don't be an orbiter...
JohnnyWinner
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Because they can.