Why do you spin plates?

[Outlaw_]

I've been trying to avoid spinning plates, because of the time & mental energy aspect of balancing them all. But as I get more real with myself, and out of the "I don't give a fvck" mode, when actually deep down I do, I am discovering something about myself.

I am too insecure to be with one woman, because of all the uncertainty of it all. What if she dumps me? What it doesn't work out? What if ... what if ...

So, I want to hear why you guys spin plates. It would be cool if we could dig deeper to the underlying issues, instead of "because I like variety" babble.

Outlaw

 

[MtnMan]

i attempt to spin plates in order to avoid oneitis and also to experience different types of women so I can make a better decision before entering into another LTR some day.

 

[Desdinova]

It helps weed out the bad ones faster, but I generally don't have the time for more than one woman. My life is packed with responsibility.

 

[zekko]

I am too insecure to be with one woman, because of all the uncertainty of it all. What if she dumps me? What it doesn't work out? What if ... what if ...

So what if she dumps you? So what if it doesn't work out? What's the big deal? PUAs teach you to not worry about rejection, but then it seems like they go far out of their way to avoid getting dumped - which basically is a rejection.

The way I look at it, most relationships you are in will not last forever anyway. I know couples who have been married for 20+ years. I honestly don't know how they do it. I mean, good for them, but I haven't had that kind of fortune. I've had a few last 10 years. Anyway, the point is, if it doesn't work out, it's not that big of a deal to me, because I've had relationships fail in the past, and I know I can always get another woman.

A lot of the answers to the poll seem to be fear based, and a lot of PUA theory seems to be all about not getting hurt. No one wants to get hurt, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, you know? You have to take a risk at some point or other. If you can toughen yourself up by risking rejection in a pickup, why do guys fear it so much in a relationship?

 

[JooJooBean]

I have to say that Zekko makes a very good point. Not that I'm an authority on anything, given my track record, but excuses aside, I too live a life right now where spinning multiple plates would be difficult.

Some would simply chalk that up to having no or minimal game, I guess. So I struggle with this a lot. I'm not a high income earning man. I don't even have the resources to do my job, participate in all my responsibilities and hobbies... and then also have enough time and (more importantly) resources to run with multiple women. I literally have no down time.

So I'm left with the same. I like LTR's. That's just what I'm happiest doing. I wouldn't do well juggling multiple people. It would genuinely interfere with the rest of my life. But I get worried, as most pick up advice would just claim that I'm hamstering and need to change my life to do better.

If people want multiple chicks, awesome. But what if I don't? I'll admit though, with the recent LTR failure, it's hit me hard. I'm coping well, despite all of that, but I've also realized just how scared I am of being alone. It's pretty shocking. I didn't realize how much I hate being alone. But I don't want to just get with girls to put a band aid on that.

 

[Mr. Kalikoat]

I voted 'Other':

I spin plates because betting on just one horse is stupid.

No single chick will guaranteed give you the amount of sex that you want or need, and chicks can always decide to dump you for whatever stupid reason. Hence a smart man always has backup options ready at all times, even when being in a LTR.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Outlaw,
I have spun plates for a long while,hard to answer your survey though because all of the reasons for doing so are true for me!....I suppose if I singled one out it would whichever comes closest to reducing vulnerability in capitulating to any one Lovers wishes!

 

[Outlaw_]

@ Zekko & Scaramouche - Yeah, it seems like not being vulnerable is what a lot of it revoles around. It's scary to be with one woman. PUA theory is about not being hurt, but I'm sure the vulnerability thing would come into play if you met some guy on the streets who never heard of PU & is spinning plates.

@ MtnMan - Yeah, after you've broken up with someone it is good to experience different women. The last thing you want to do is get out of one relationship & into another before you've been with women who provide you with different things.

@Desdinova - I'm in your boat, that life is too much for multiple women. It's too much time & mental energy. But somehow I find myself in situations where I get an additional plate.

@Mr. Kalikoat - I agree with the sex thing. I think that's just a woman thing...they're not built like us when it comes to sex.

@JooJooBean - Yeah man, LTR's get a bad rap here. It's great having somebody to share yourself with & you both get to know each other, share moments, etc. Unfortunately, this community is all about smash & dash. I'm a long time plate spinner, as far back as I can remember, but my life now is not built for that. I'm on to bigger & better things than pvssy.

 

[Zarky]

Wow I checked the first 5 boxes LOL. All of those apply to me.

At this point, though, it's mostly because I can't live life any other way. I've been "spinning plates" (what I call multi-dating) for more than a decade now. I simply can't imagine what life would be like with only one chick in it. Just the thought of it seems bizarre to me in a way.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I spin plates because it makes me happy.

I like having an edge on the girls I date and it really helps me not give a fark.

Women spin plates too.

I always have a girl to hang out with.

I can't help but spin plates sometimes.

It gives me a feeling of accomplishment and success.

It's a winning strategy and I want to have winning strategies.

 

[BeDJ]

How do I explain this...
When you have the attraction of a woman, it feels good. When you have the attraction of multiple woman, it feels better?

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

Pook goes over the phychological aspects of spinning plates in his 15 lessons. He's basically saying it's a way of keeping you from getting one-itis.

Personally, I like the variety, and having options.

Lesson Fourteen

The young man had one problem left. He would be very successful with women, from one night stands, from casual dating, from relationships, and so on. Yet, every now and then, he got that feeling of something BURSTING through his chest like a creature popping out from Alien.

The woman would talk to him, “Blah blah blah.” He felt it inside, a very sweet but gooeish feeling. She would go on, “Blah yappity blah blah” and he felt the sickly warm feeling spread throughout his body. What was happening to him? “Yappity yap blah blah, yapitty, blah yap!” the girl continued as he felt the FEELINGS spread throughout his body, paralyzing him, like a poison. “Yah blah blah yah,” she went on, oblivious as he was collapsing from this sickness.

The next day, he had this OVERWHELIMG urge to send her flowers, chocolate, and bad poetry. It was too much, and he gave in, and saying, “You are my life. I love nothing else so well as you. I will do ANYTHING for you.”

Then she said, “I think we should just be friends…”

Oh, that AFC disease rose up again in him! How does one smash it forever? He smiled, and realized:

Always have a back-up chick!

“But Pook! Perhaps this guy was falling in love!”

“No. It was a False Love. Come and see.”

Pook led the youth inside Every Man’s Heart. Inside the cavernous room, each surrounding wall depicted television screens with a graphic.

“What is this place?”

“Every guy has a passion about different things. On that wall is his ‘car’ passion. We see many screens of different cars, all ones he loves. On that other wall there is his ‘food’ passion. We see screens of all his favorite foods. And if you come along here, you’ll find the Ambition Wall where screens show all the things he wants to do. Now look at the Women Wall.”

“Pook! There is only one picture on it!”

“Yes. Nature has designed us to love in a marriage way when there is only one picture on that wall.”

“I can understand that. But where is the problem?”

“The problem is that he is not married or engaged to her! So he is acting married to her when really they are ‘dating’ or ‘just friends’.”

“Oh dear…”

“Yes. When a guy decides to go dating and dates only ONE chick at a time, only one picture will appear on the wall. When there is only one, he is designed to think of her in a marriage way. So he starts becoming AFC with this girl he just talked to.”

“So say if a guy is socially unskilled and has only one friend that is a girl, only that girl’s picture will appear on the wall? And because of that, he will ‘fall in love’ with his friend?”

“Exactly! If there is only one f*ckbuddy, he will eventually want to ‘date’ the girl, want to become exclusive with her, and turn into a total AFC.”

“But if he has a back-up chick…”

“…then another girl is on the wall as well. He can’t act ‘married’ if there is more than one girl up there. Thus, he stops becoming a ‘latent AFC’.”

“But what if he has his interest in other things? Shouldn’t he date only one girl then?”

“No. Either go for MANY or go for NONE. If you go for ONE you will become an AFC. Most guys are too LAZY or too SCARED to go for multiple girls. So they remain AFCs and forever remain in the vicious cycle.”