"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Why do YOU build rapport ?

Swift

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Why do YOU build rapport ?

Mind you, this is not a technical question about rapport vs attraction, what comes first, what comes after, etc…

I know it must sound like a weird question, but let me explain.

I understand why us guys have to approach. It’s our role as a male to approach the female. This makes sense. I don’t only understand this (cause you can read, understand and still not get it), it has sunk in and has become a part of my identity.
Why do bears hibernate ? Because they are sleepy ? No, because they are bears. Why do guys approach women ? Because they are guys and they do what guys are supposed to do. So no more nervousness or fear of approaching. Cause suddenly it made sense to me.

Likewise, I can understand why direct openers are better than indirect openers. (For me at least, cause I don’t give a damn about some strangers opinion about dying my hair or something like that.) Although I admit I barely tried, a direct opener makes more sense.

What doesn’t make sense for me is the rationale for building rapport. I’m not saying I only want party chicks that don’t need rapport, I just want rapport to make sense to me. Not caring about what other people think is a mindset I’ve carried with me most of my life, but it only made me a shy, introverted, socially awkward person, not somebody who flies above the race.

So it seems some of my mental blockers have disappeared, but the drive to TALK to other people isn’t all that.

Your thoughts please
Thank you

Swift
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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check_mate_kid_uk

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you need raport because it brings you close together it is the kind of conversation you would have with good freinds, talking about anytihng rather then objects.

you can not just ask questions, that is boring so rapport is when you both get in to the conversation and talk like you would with a good freind or girlfreind rather then how you would on a job interveiw.
 

jonny football hero

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Men communicate through words. Women communicate through FEELINGS, which is why we do rapport, because it's all about feelings.
 

Seraph

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To expand on what the other two posters have said, rapport also generally lightens the mood, it relaxes you and her quite a bit. Kino is easier with more rapport, and we all know where that can lead :D
 

Jariel

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Here's where I think a lot of people go wrong: they see rapport as some kind of strategy to winning a woman.

The key to building rapport, however, is being able to interact with people without any kind of ulterior motive. You interact with someone because you find them interesting and you enjoy talking to them. It's this mutual enjoyment of each other's company that allows you to establish rapport.

Once you build rapport with someone, you have established a lasting impression and the potential for friendship (if not more).

There are a lot of guys who will only talk to attractive women and only talk to them with sex in mind. In doing this, they never improve their social skills or charisma and will have a very hard time building rapport.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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