"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Why do women...

DoubleA

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lie about boyfriends who live out of state?

Peep the scenario:

I've been emailing this chick all day a nd all of a sudden she writes," just get tired of chillin in the house so i go out and let loose. i love to dance and like i said, me and my girls ALWAYS have fun, no matter what. plus the guy i'm seeing lives in pittsburgh so it helps keep my mind off him! lmao."

Man, I can handle that part. No prob. It seems half these chickens have boyfriends anyway. But after she tells me this "I was like no wonder you always going out. Sorry to hear it."

I step out to lunch and she she emails me back..I'm wondering why. She already told me about her little boyfriend back home. And she keeps emailing me.

WTF is going on? Holla.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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yunghova35

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I’m thinking that maybe from you looks she liked what she saw, you just didn’t create ENOUGH attraction for her, therefore she defaulted to talking about her BF.
 

DoubleA

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Interesting....
 

Now What

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I think she wants you.

Points:
1) Chick is bored and sits around the house a lot.
2) Chick wants to keep her mind off her "boyfriend".
3) Chick is dying to go out and let loose.
4) Chick keeps emailing you.

The whole boyfriend thing is just a little social proof - she wants to show you that other guys want her, she doesn't want to appear too desperate in your eyes.

Suggestions:
1) Ask her out. "Hey, I'm pretty busy here, but lets get together for coffee this evening." Also, think about possibly getting a guy friend or two to go with you and her friends out to a club this weekend.

2) Don't mention the boyfriend. Assuming she's interested she probably won't mention him, if he even exists. If she starts going on and on about her boyfriend in another state that's probably a bad sign, though I don't see this happening.

Let us know what happens!
 

DoubleA

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Too late

I stepped up and told her I know a few people where her man lives and I asked what his name was and some other things, she never emailed back. Too bad.

But thanks. I really appreciate the insight and now next time I'll know what to do and how to react.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Now What

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Yeah, there's a rule around here somethink like "Don't talk about other men with her." Especially a boyfriend she may or may not have, and may or may not be breaking up with.

Review this article while you're at it (I couldn't help but think of you): Conversing for Maximum Attraction by Allen Thompson http://www.sosuave.com/articles/converse.htm

Better luck next time! (tomorrow?)
 

DoubleA

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We'll see.

We'll see. Thanks for the reminder.
 

AgonyUncle

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Its da ********!

Quite simply, her telling you she has a boyfriend miles away could mean one of two things.

1) Shes telling you in a nice way that she is attached, and therefor unavailible. She could just be keen on the attention

2) Shes trying to make herself appear to be more desirable. Silly creatures dont realize that these statements often have the opposite effect.

Decide how badly you want to nail this bird.

I would suggest saying to her that if shes looking for a bit of fun and some time away from everything, you could maybe fit her into your schedule. It will also keep you out of that friends zone

See what her response to that is, and you will be able to gauge her interest level a bit easier.
 

SexPDX

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Mention of a boyfriend is not always necessarily a sign of disinterest. In fact it could be the complete opposite depending on the context. Most girl who have boyfriends but are still nonetheless interested in you are going to want you to know about it. If they want to hook up with you despite their boyfriend and DON'T mention him, that's more reason to worry than anything. If she'll hide that from you then what else will she hide?

Bringing the boyfriend topic up yourself isn't always a bad thing either.

-PDX
 

Rio

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Some women want to keep a pulse on their attraction. When you're exclusive you don't get to find out really how attractive you are to others completely. Some still wonder, "do I still got it?".
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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San

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My opinion about this is that she wants to show you indirectly that a lot of boys and men want her and that you should be lucky! because she probably like you! ;)

It can also be the complete opposite, but then again, i haven't read the emails so that's why my cloudy judgment :D

try to meet her in real life for a few dates and try to decipher her interest level in you :p
 

-HPNOTIQ-

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It all depends the context and how a woman brings up the subject of her current BF.

example 1)

"I love my man...He's the sweetest man in the world. I can't wait til I see him again"

or

example 2)

"God..my bf NEVER wants to go out. He's always at home playing Xbox or Halo and never pays me attention. That's why I'm always out with my girls to get away from him."

In your senerio..it sounds like she was diggin you:

"just get tired of chillin in the house so i go out and let loose. i love to dance and like i said, me and my girls ALWAYS have fun, no matter what. plus the guy i'm seeing lives in pittsburgh so it helps keep my mind off him! lmao."

Notice how she never once indicated that it was her steady boyfriend. Never did she once really mention his feelings or ideas or how much she digs him. Sounds like the guy is actually 'ANTI-FUN'...that is the reason she goes out with her GFs NO MATTER WHAT?

Play it right..and you'll be sticking a d*ck in her mouth pretty soon bro..
 
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