Why do women go through the trouble?

[the_m@n]

In the past couple of weeks in between the girls I have gone out on dates with I had these two women "flake" on setting up the date.

First example (texted):

talking for a while, blah blah blah setting up a date destination...

Me: I'm thinking we can take the train Sunday morning that way we can get to the museum at a good time.

Her: How early?

Me: I'm thinking shoot for getting to the museum around 10.

Her: Ok that sounds great.

Me: Ok so I'll just pick you up at your place and we can take one car to the train station. What time should I pick you up?

Her: No response for like 3 days.

Me (4 days later, 2 days before date): Hey, haven't heard from you in a couple of days, just wanted to make sure you are still coming with me to the museum.

Her: No response.

I haven't contacted her since then nor do I intend to, but for some reason I can't figure out what the hell happened. To me I don't understand why she went through all the trouble of responding to me in the first place if she wasn't intending on following through.

The second chick is the same kind of story only a little easier for me to understand:

Talking teasing blah blah blah...

Her: Oh I really enjoy going to museums. (what I did that day- texted her on the ride home)

Me: Oh too bad... didn't know you were into that sort of thing. Maybe next time I'll let you tag along if you play your cards right . Anyway, are you free tuesday or friday for a formal dinner date? I like Italian if you aren't opposed.

Her: I would love to tag along to see the museum! I work late all week so I'll let you know about Friday like midweekish.

Me: Ok Peace out! I'll look for your call midweek.

Her: Toootles!

Friday came and passed and she never called... Even if she did I already had plans set up by thursday night for friday anyway. Once again I just don't understand why she went through the trouble or responding to my original text, and carrying a converstation, if she had no desire to go on a date.

I guess I'm having a hard time understanding if it is just the simple fact that Women like attention.

Any insight or similar stories would be appreciated here. I'm not hung up on these women or anything but I'm just trying to get a better understanding of the women psyche. If I could potentially avoid women like this (from the start) in the future that would be cool. What signs should I look for?

 

[AtillaTheHun]

I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be the one making the calls, not her.

 

[Hikapo]

No call = Not interested.

I have experienced women like that about 2 months ago.

What I can say is they are not interested. Women love attention, that's for sure.

Hold your head high brother, you did what you could. These women are not worth your time. Find one that respects your time and value. Go Tiger!!

As for how to avoid them, you need to get Igetit to help you out. He is good at stuff like this.

 

[DonJuan11]

In the past couple of weeks in between the girls I have gone out on dates with I had these two women "flake" on setting up the date.

First example (texted):

talking for a while, blah blah blah setting up a date destination...

You should be "talking for a while" to set up a "date destination". It should take you 30 seconds at the most to set up a time and place where you will pick her up. The less time you spend "talking to her" about the date, the better.

Me: I'm thinking we can take the train Sunday morning that way we can get to the museum at a good time.
Her: How early?
Me: I'm thinking shoot for getting to the museum around 10.
Her: Ok that sounds great.
Me: Ok so I'll just pick you up at your place and we can take one car to the train station. What time should I pick you up?
Her: No response for like 3 days.
Me (4 days later, 2 days before date): Hey, haven't heard from you in a couple of days, just wanted to make sure you are still coming with me to the museum.

Her: No response.

I haven't contacted her since then nor do I intend to, but for some reason I can't figure out what the hell happened. To me I don't understand why she went through all the trouble of responding to me in the first place if she wasn't intending on following through.

Your conversation involves way too much detail and way too much work. Plus, you've given her 18 opportunities to flake on you. What's with going to a museum too? That won't get a girl all hot and bothered, it will make her fall asleep on you, esp on Sunday morning. Last text was a mistake.


The second chick is the same kind of story only a little easier for me to understand:

Talking teasing blah blah blah...

Her: Oh I really enjoy going to museums. (what I did that day- texted her on the ride home)

Me: Oh too bad... didn't know you were into that sort of thing. Maybe next time I'll let you tag along if you play your cards right . Anyway, are you free tuesday or friday for a formal dinner date? I like Italian if you aren't opposed.

This does sound sexy or manly, it sounds as though you are begging her for a date.

Her: I would love to tag along to see the museum! I work late all week so I'll let you know about Friday like midweekish.

Me: Ok Peace out! I'll look for your call midweek.

Her: Toootles!

Friday came and passed and she never called... Even if she did I already had plans set up by thursday night for friday anyway. Once again I just don't understand why she went through the trouble or responding to my original text, and carrying a converstation, if she had no desire to go on a date.

I guess I'm having a hard time understanding if it is just the simple fact that Women like attention.

Any insight or similar stories would be appreciated here. I'm not hung up on these women or anything but I'm just trying to get a better understanding of the women psyche. If I could potentially avoid women like this (from the start) in the future that would be cool. What signs should I look for?

It's your psyche, not theirs. They did everything right.

If you like a girl and want to go out with her, give her a time and day and stick to it.

 

[Jondo]

You're the one going through the trouble in this case my friend. Since you are not in a relationship with her, she or you have no obligations to be attached in the slightest way. Next her.

 

[Jitterbug]

There's nothing wrong with what you did. Only that those girls had very low to no interest in you. You can do the same things with a girl with high interest and she will respond very differently.

I disagree with DonJuan11. They didn't do anything right there. They did everything wrong, showing their lack of manners and class.

 

[Dante420]

dawg you sound like a nerd, no offense and all, your talking about taking a girl out who you just met all the way to the museum, do you think she doesn't realize how much effort your putting into a trek out all the way to the museum?

and with the second one you failed shortly after "if you play your cards right" but you should of forgot that girl as soon as you read a text from her with the word "tootles" in it

 

[Ease]

Can i ask the obvious question as to why your asking girls out to the museum?

Your date setting up seems very wrong to me.

Texts are too long, too much effort, too much interest, too much nerdiness. Masculinity is attractive. This is very nerdy and unattractive.

Me: I'm thinking we can take the train Sunday morning that way we can get to the museum at a good time.
Her: How early?
Me: I'm thinking shoot for getting to the museum around 10.
Her: Ok that sounds great.
Me: Ok so I'll just pick you up at your place and we can take one car to the train station. What time should I pick you up?
Her: No response for like 3 days.
Me (4 days later, 2 days before date): Hey, haven't heard from you in a couple of days, just wanted to make sure you are still coming with me to the museum.

Me: Hi its ease, sup?
Her: Hiiii bla bla bla
Me: Gona go museum on wednesday, want to come?
Her: What museum why bla bla??!?!
Me: Itll be fun. But we got to early, about 10.
Her: ok why? bla bla bla
Me: because its only cool if you go at 10.
Her: bla bla
Me: ok meet u at X at 10, see you then girl/homegirl/dawg/friend/buddy/mate (any stupid sounding word)
Her: bye bye bla bla bla bla
Me: (no reply)

Be cool, stop looking for her approval and reaction to your conversation. Being a leader means being a leader in every aspect, especially in conversation and date setting up. The only question you should ever really ask a girl is 'are you free X' or 'can you get a lift to Y'.

Being cool is especially important here. Be funny and ****y and dont answer her questions. With enough badass attitude you can even make a trip to the museum sound kool.

 

[Kal]

The first girl in your example is probably a *****, so there's your explanation.

And the second girl more than likely did the same thing as you and made plans and forgot about calling you. You made your own plans anyway so why does it matter? She's not into you though or she'd have made plans with you.

 

[Kailex]

First of all, stop texting all of this, pick up the phone and call her. You're wasting your busy-ass time on texts when you could just call her right away and set this up.

Second, I hope you didn't actually text her "formal dinner date". Where you planning on wearing a tuxedo for that one?

Third, save the museum for date 3, 4, whatever. Go bowling, play pool, get coffee, have a drink instead for the first date. Do something a little more engaging and a little less intimidating.

Fourth, stop TEXTING. Yes, I know I said it at the beginning, but I'm repeating it. I know a lot of people advocate texting as a way of setting up dates, but to me, it never FEELS like anything is set in stone through a text. I'd rather hear a confirmation. Granted, a phone conversation doesn't avoid potential flaking, but at least they have to lie to you over the phone, rather than sit back and giggle as they text you about plans they aren't going to keep.

Fifth, Girl #1, you tried to set up a date with her a WEEK in advance? Trying to get the math right here, but you said there were 4 days after the initial response and then 2 days before the actual date, so give or take 6 or 7 days??? Narrow that window down. She probably found 1,001 other things more interesting than going to a museum on a SUNDAY at 10 AM. She probably planned her Saturday evening and decided she'll probably be hungover from going out on Saturday. No way in hell I'm waking up on Sunday to get on a train for a museum after going out on a crazy ass date with someone else on a Saturday evening.