Why do women do this?

[NSUballer]

i havent posted here in like a year so bare with. heres the deal. started a relationship with this chic on new years. took her to a saints game for the first date. went great. hung out for a week or so. she gave it up. kept talkin for a while everything goin smooth. now its the end of february. been together pretty much everyday for like 2 months. things get shaky because she tells me she dont think i care all we do is have sex and watch TV when we're together.(ok thats pretty much true) and i only took her on one date. we both very busy with school and she has 2 jobs and i got ball. so the only real time we can spend together is at night. anyways she ends up tellin me one night that she doesnt wanna "do this" anymore. the only problem is i really started to like the broad. so after she tells me that i dont say one word and just walk out her apartment. 2 days later (friday) i go out. shes there. i pay no attention. grindin on other chics. payin her no mind. later that night she ends up at my house in my bed. we're both to hammered to do anything but sleep. but the next mornin it was on like donkey kong if u get my drift. she leaves.

next day i sleep at her house. hit it again. so im thinkin well maybe she just wanted to scare me into being more considerate and she wasnt serious about spliting. all the while we talk everyday like normal. she sleeps at my house again wednesday. shes on the rag this time. still talkin like normal. she wants me to go out thursday but i cant because i have practice at 5 am. i go see her at work friday for lunch. she seems distant. no eye contact for more than a second. i leave. call her a few times to see when she gets off. no answer. go back to her work at 8. still distant. everyone gos out after. at the club same thing. after club i walk out with her and shes like no im goin with these guys....im like WTF are u talkin about...she says i told u we were done..i say well werent u suckin me off the other night...she says oh u mean u never hooked up with one of your friens before?...i say no bc we're not friends...

anyways now shes bangin som other dumass and i cant figure out WTF happened.

 

[Obsidian]

i suspect at two problems here

1) you pretty much ignored the whole stages of a relationship process

2) you just stayed at home watching tv and didn't do enough creative, interesting things


It's also possible that she's just a hor. How else could you snag her so easily and so fast? Every day for two months, right after you first hooked up with her? Did you really expect that to last?

 

[NSUballer]

the part i forgot to mention. i knew her for 2 years before we ever went on a date. so it wasnt like i just met her and then bam we were bangin.

 

[Obsidian]

well, that clears things up a little, but I still say you rolled into things way too fast if you were looking for permanence

I don't really know if the situation is salvageable at all at this point; you oughta wait for someone with more expertise in this area.

 

[lookyoung]

Hey bro welcome to the game. Hey this is part of the game. Be thankful she was in your life for those 2 months, and she sucked and fvcked you in every way. Always look on the bright side you banged this girl, never took her out on a date. You were not an AFC in the relationship.


If you went out with her for 2 months and never had sex with her, then u should feel bad.

The best remedy for heartbreak.

1. Like RT says spin plates.... Talk to woman, have other options.
2. Concentrate on yourself- play ball, lift weights.
3. Realize that most DJ go through this... and what does not kill you makes you stronger.


4. LAST but not least.... Be a man.... Don't take her back.... Where I come from we have a saying...... ONCE YOUR OUT THEN YOUR OUT....
Don't ever get serious with her unless its for a quick lay.


Best of luck


LOOKYOUNG

 

[NSUballer]

yea im gonna go head and say no. she said she made her mind up and thats it. other weird fact. she always told me that we were not dating bc i didnt act the way she wanted i guess. only to find out after that she told some of her friends that we were dating.

 

[NSUballer]

yea the ***** game is real good right now even though i havent been laid in a month. mainly because of spring practice. another interesting fact. she paid for everything we did. she is a bartender and bought me every drink for 2 months. i might have spent 10 bucks on her for valentines(which is a stupid holiday) and she spent 100

 

[So pimp its scary]

1 - You gave her all the power
2 - You ignored her IL
3 - You had no mystery
4 - You were no longer a challenge
5 - You got too comfortable in the relationship 'she won't leave me'
6 - When you came here last you put a small bandage over the reasons you first came, and now that the relationship is done because you've yet to face your demons so to speak.
7 - You ignored your social life
8 - Your woman became your purpose
9 - You set yourself up as the provider, not the lover that she wanted
10 - You ditched learning the skills when you got the girl... rather that using the girl to get the skill.

This is not a flame... this is just a brutal honest interpretation of your post to answer your question.

 

[Obsidian]

wow lol

it sounds like maybe you could stand to be a little more gentlemanly...

check out the top article on the main site:
http://www.sosuave.com/quick2/tip515.htm



What do you do for a living? Are you a boring person?

 

[NSUballer]

college football player

 

[NSUballer]

Pimp you must clarify

 

[Obsidian]

what does he need to clarify? it's all pretty self-explanatory


and I agree with him on all of them except #1, #9, and probably #4

 

[NSUballer]

#6-10 is th only ones i need to understand

 

[So pimp its scary]

Obsidion... the most debatable one is #1, possibly #6, that one was mostly a guess. #9 and #4 are both connected.

But, I would like to hear your explanation as to how those are wrong before I expain myself to the orignial poster

NSUBaller - I'll explain how I came to those conclusions...

1 - In your post it seems clear that she was at the point of trying to lead you into being a better bf for her... a woman leading has the power, and she most likely hates it.
2 - Self-explanatory, but you know this.
3 - AKA you had played all your cards, and no longer surprised her in any good way.
4 - Rather than a challenge you seem to have become a frustration for this girl/
5 - too comfortable ties in with the lack of challenge.
6 -The first line in your post says you posted here a year ago. I hallucinated a situation that I've witnessed many times... A guy comes here, learns a thing or two about approaching, then gets all oneitis with the first girl that comes around. This girl, because she was so into you becomes your gf, then for a time things are good... but since you never really solved the issues holding you back, you put a bandaid over the problem with the information you needed (I figure how to approach as it's most commong), but didn't really solve the problem before entering this relationship... and now that it's over, you're flustered as to where things went wrong.

Tell me, is this even in the same ballpark as your situation ??

7 - Your post says that you spent most of your time at home with your gf, no? well, by spending all your time with your gf rather than with other friends, it creates symptoms like 1-4... don't want to go into in depth explanation, but it's still congruent with my experience.
8 - Do you have a purpose in your life? Something that you wake up for every morning?? Because you can't make a woman your purpose, simply put, it will not work.... you need a life of your own, a woman is a compliment to your life, not all of it.
9 - consider that women see potential mates in 2 categories, the lover or the probider... to keep it simple, The lover is the DJ going around making babies with all the woman so that her provider can raise the babies.
10 - So close to 6 that I'd more or less be repeating.

 

[ryannath]

NSUballer, I think there a few reasons why it failed. You spent way too much time with her. EVERY single day for the first 2 months. Wow! She probably didn't wanna get that serious, that fast.

And, you said yourself that mostly all you did was watch tv and have sex. She got bored it sounds like.

And, it might not be a strech that this is just the type of girl she is and she doesn't really care too much for LTR, instead she just goes from guy to guy. There are some words to describe these type of girls, but I'm a nice person and I'll bite my tongue.

 

[Badmannaz]

She's a F*ckin Wh0e man...keep that sh!t movin...
You fVked her now get you anotha chick plain and simple comin from a real dude..

 

[Obsidian]

pimp made the following claims...

1 - You gave her all the power

it sounds like he didn't do anything the girl wanted so I doubt he was giving her much power

4 - You were no longer a challenge

I think he was too much of a challenge, in some ways. On the other hand, he was spending every day for two months with her right at the beginning of the "relationship" so I guess you could be right about this one.

9 - You set yourself up as the provider, not the lover that she wanted

She spent way more money on him than he did on her. He wasn't a provider.



The other problems you mentioned seem to be on target, tho. He obviously screwed up in several ways if he was looking for a LTR.

 

[Wyldfire]

Sometimes people just aren't compatible after they get to know each other a bit better. His schedule and football doesn't allow him to be heavy into partying. She wanted to party. It wouldn't have mattered regardless of what either one of them did to try to make it work...they just weren't compatible in their goals and interests.

That is all...

 

[Obsidian]

That may be true, but that isn't all by a long shot...

 

[Wyldfire]

That may be true, but that isn't all by a long shot...

Actually...yes, that most likely is all. They are young and in college. She wants to live it up, have fun, party, hang out at bars and soak in all the "fun" she imagined her college experience to be. He is an athlete with practice at the crack of dawn. He can't go out and party, closing the bar and staying up all night entertaining her. He just can't reach his own goals AND satisfy her need for entertainment at once. That means they just aren't compatible. It really is that simple. Even people who like and are attracted to each other sometimes aren't compatible...and it's okay. He doesn't need to second guess himself or question what he did wrong...they just weren't compatible.