"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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... why do we stay in love with people who treat us bad?

st_99

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coochieman said:
I knew she's was a slore [no right to question her, we were just farkbuddies], she always remained a CHALLENGE. She had such strong personality for absolutely NO REASON. Observe the word "NO REASON'', She wasn't the prettiest, the richest nor the smartest. No matter how much you have her gamed down, she still just says some challenging sh!t to claim a little stake. Then I started "feeling''..
funny how that works. how you can systematically be broken down by a girl with wicked game. i've been there. its actually pretty fascinating and intersting.

happened to me, met a girl, .. as soon as i saw her i was like pfft, this chick is like a 6. well, after some interaction and fvcking her she turned into the biggest oneitis of my life. im like.. how the hell did that happen? lol. she had sick game and turned me into a b1tch.

but really though, its more about you. it just means you're lacking in a skillset to deal with the opposite sex and all that can come with it. its an experience thing for sure.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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C-quenced

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bradd80 said:
that's true too, but when you're really in love with a girl no matter how much better the other ones are it still makes it very difficult to detach.
I have found it is always difficult to detach but having superior women at your disposal (after your significant other decides to nuke the relationship) is extremely effective and greatly speeds up the "rehabilitation" process. It's almost insanity to go cold turkey on women after such an issue arises. In fact if there is anything else I learned from first hand experience is that many natural players, that I know on a personal level, tend to keep women on the side just in case of emergencies that may come their way during an LTR.
 

European-DJ

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bradd80 said:
Sometimes seeing other women when you're going through a bad break up actually makes it worse.

During my last bad break up, exactly a year ago (in fact just before Christmas this time last year), when I broke up with my ex I was seeing/fvcking four other girls. But the more time I spent with them, the more I missed my ex. It was like being with these girls made me feel like I was missing out, like I had made a mistake.

EuropeanDJ, time will heal this wound. You just have to do your best to forget about her and get rid of anything that reminds you of her. The faster you stop thinking about her, the sooner you will get over her.

Here are some of those links you requested:

http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/addicted-love-brain/story?id=11110866#.UNJARHf-Vto
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2010/oct/13/love-drug-pain-relief-cocaine
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3236328.stm
Thanks Bradd80, i am going to read them right away.

And all of the people who told me i should become happy with myself, and that is the reason for my miserable state at the current moment; i thank you.

I saw this local movie, with this ugly guy without self confidence who had this beautiful, sexy Attention ***** of an girlfriend - and even though it was a movie, i totally recognized myself in his character, and realized i have to be self confident, and self sufficient, instead of seeking for this trophy girlfriend.. At the end, i am the only one being left behind sad and moody.

Thank you guys, i will start posting in the NC topic.
 

JohnChops

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st_99 said:
funny how that works. how you can systematically be broken down by a girl with wicked game. i've been there. its actually pretty fascinating and intersting.

happened to me, met a girl, .. as soon as i saw her i was like pfft, this chick is like a 6. well, after some interaction and fvcking her she turned into the biggest oneitis of my life. im like.. how the hell did that happen? lol. she had sick game and turned me into a b1tch.

but really though, its more about you. it just means you're lacking in a skillset to deal with the opposite sex and all that can come with it. its an experience thing for sure.
This is the worst learning experience you'll ever face. I've had this happen to me and a year later was still dealing with it. Its only up until now I've become normal again. Ah I also thought I was quite interesting but sucked.

I've always wondered the same thing, I feel like its because sometimes we're attracted to trash and then they take break you down to degrade you then you fall for them. I feel like its just a random phenomenon that can't really be explained.
 
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