Why do we fear rejection? Why do we fear failure?

[TDH]

I want to be fearless and I wanted some of you guys input on why you think its so widely accepted and normal to be a coward

 

[Alvafe]

stop to care, most of time we are smart then the normal dude so we start to over think on things,

and only way to stop to care is go out and talk with woman, also read the bible and all, the guys here can explain better anyway

 

[BeDJ]

Because nobody wants to fail or be rejected, dumbass.

We aren't developed to naturally do a face to face approach. It is far out of our comfort zone. My friends speak loudly and think they're hot shots, but when I tell them to approach a chick, they come up with the most bullshіt reasons - even with alcohol. Their retarded confidence and bloated ego couldn't handle the anxiety and risk of rejection. These guys wouldn't give a damn talking among their friends, but when introduced to the idea of cold approaching, their balls shrivel up. A complete lack of self esteem. How many men would drink their own piss, rather than approach a women while sober? The thought of cold approaching makes us uncomfortable because your target and everyone in the vicinity will judge you. You have already given her higher value even before words are said. This is the very definition of putting women on a pedestal.

It is the mental process during the approach that develops inner confidence.

Approach Anxiety

The mental fluctuations to get in your head whether or not to start a conversation. You mind is telling you to man the fυck up, but your feet feel paralyzed. Or your mind is telling you that she just wants to get her coffee and go, but your are moving towards the target in place. That's the power of the mind, unless you train to think differently, it will always stay in its comfort zone. Because...

Fear of Rejection

For most people, this is the greatest motivation killer. Rejection can be so intense for people that society has taught us to skirt around it. Point out their positives before denying them what they want. The last meal before execution. You get over the fear of rejection by having it dished out to your face over and over again. It's going to leave a bruise the first few times, even first hundred times. But soon, it will start hurting less until you are almost immune to it. Because...

Regret

Today, there was a girl waiting for her coffee at Starbucks. I was on the phone and exchanged eye contact and a smile with her. She grabbed her drink, turned around smiling at me and left. What if I just yelled out WAIT! Coulda, woulda, shoulda, it was a fleeting moment and I'll never see her again.

Nothing hits closer to home than a stone cold No to the face, but you must experience it over and over again to achieve genuine inner confidence. You have to absorb the blοw with a grin.

 

[MikeAndIke]

The thought of cold approaching makes us uncomfortable because your target and everyone in the vicinity will judge you. You have already given her higher value even before words are said. This is the very definition of putting women on a pedestal.


Nothing hits closer to home than a stone cold No to the face, but you must experience it over and over again to achieve genuine inner confidence. You have to absorb the blοw with a grin[/SIZE][/FONT].

Wow sooooo true. This says it all. I think the problem is that people just don't want to go through that. I know I sure as hell don't want to. But I've come to realize that it is necessary in life. Necessary and inevitable.

 

[zinc4]

i have probably been rejected more than anyone else i know....just because i am always approaching....lot's of success as well...but rejection is inevitable if you are just walking up out of the blue.....

This thing about developing inner confidence...i guess it does over the years...but can also take a toll on you sometimes if you let it.....the best thing about it, though, is it's not a big deal anymore if i get rejected from a confidence/ego standpoint i mean...it's just routine now and the more rejections you face the more success you will gain as well....i mean it's like fishing...you can't catch a big fish every time...although some days you may..other days you may come up empty handed...it's just an overall process...and you start to view it that way instead of directed at yourself..

But i have found out ways to dramatically decrease rejection when cold approaching....first of all if it's a very direct approach look for good eye contact first..

If no eye contact and out of the blue then start by simply asking directions or something like that and you can usually guage her interest level immediately by smiling, eye contact ect......if it's good strike...if not just say oh thank you and walk away...you also have to figure out if she is shy though or not...a shy girl will often not show any signs of interest even if she is interested...if she is obviously very shy then go for the throat no matter what she shows...

 

[nroug7]

i have probably been rejected more than anyone else i know....just because i am always approaching....lot's of success as well...but rejection is inevitable if you are just walking up out of the blue.....

This thing about developing inner confidence...i guess it does over the years...but can also take a toll on you sometimes if you let it.....the best thing about it, though, is it's not a big deal anymore if i get rejected from a confidence/ego standpoint i mean...it's just routine now and the more rejections you face the more success you will gain as well....i mean it's like fishing...you can't catch a big fish every time...although some days you may..other days you may come up empty handed...it's just an overall process...and you start to view it that way instead of directed at yourself..

But i have found out ways to dramatically decrease rejection when cold approaching....first of all if it's a very direct approach look for good eye contact first..

If no eye contact and out of the blue then start by simply asking directions or something like that and you can usually guage her interest level immediately by smiling, eye contact ect......if it's good strike...if not just say oh thank you and walk away...you also have to figure out if she is shy though or not...a shy girl will often not show any signs of interest even if she is interested...if she is obviously very shy then go for the throat no matter what she shows...

As I've mentioned here a few times before though, many guys here still protect their confidence and ego by nexting to soon.

I've put up with **** from several of my plates but I don't give a crap about their sh1t, it doesn't affect me.
One of my plates I asked out once a week (This happened for 4 weeks) she kept flaking - I got her 4 days ago out on a date, It was great, finished with a Kiss close, a lot of guys here would say "You invested too much time"
Really? It takes 30 seconds to send a simple text inviting a girl somewhere.

 

[zinc4]

As I've mentioned here a few times before though, many guys here still protect their confidence and ego by nexting to soon.

I've put up with **** from several of my plates but I don't give a crap about their sh1t, it doesn't affect me.
One of my plates I asked out once a week (This happened for 4 weeks) she kept flaking - I got her 4 days ago out on a date, It was great, finished with a Kiss close, a lot of guys here would say "You invested too much time"
Really? It takes 30 seconds to send a simple text inviting a girl somewhere.

I agree.....there is something to be said about persistence...if you are really confident, you don't care one way or the other about protecting yourself because you are not emotionally invested in the first place....usually i next pretty easily because i have a lot of plates and i don't care about them enough to really try, but if it's a chick who is exceptionally hot than i will persist....if i fail....it doesn't matter one way or the other.

 

[Deep Dish]

Law 34: Be Royal in your Own Fashion: Act like a King to be treated like one
The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you. For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others. By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.

As children, we start our lives with great exuberance, expecting and demanding everything from the world. This generally carries over into our first forays into society, as we begin our careers. But as we grow older the rebuffs and failures we experience set up boundaries that only get firmer with time. Coming to expect less from the world, we accept limitations that are really self-imposed. We start to bow and scrape and apologize for even the simplest of requests. The solution to such a shrinking of horizons is to deliberately force ourselves in the opposite direction—to downplay the failures and ignore the limitations, to make ourselves demand and expect as much as the child.​

 

[nroug7]

I agree.....there is something to be said about persistence...if you are really confident, you don't care one way or the other about protecting yourself because you are not emotionally invested in the first place....usually i next pretty easily because i have a lot of plates and i don't care about them enough to really try, but if it's a chick who is exceptionally hot than i will persist....if i fail....it doesn't matter one way or the other.

If you fail, you succeed, you did far better then the AFCs in confronting and opening, and you were confident enough to not worry about your own ego anyways, rather then quickly nexting for self-preservation which seems to be the standard these days.

 

[White Boy]

I want to be fearless and I wanted some of you guys input on why you think its so widely accepted and normal to be a coward

Look up YouTube videos

LAHWF

AdrianVanOyen

Vitalyzdtv



Those channels show what it truly means to not care what others think of you.....I will be like them some day!! I'll report back in a year or so when I'm youtube famous and raking in the cash

 

[zinc4]

Look up YouTube videos

LAHWF

AdrianVanOyen

Vitalyzdtv



Those channels show what it truly means to not care what others think of you.....I will be like them some day!! I'll report back in a year or so when I'm youtube famous and raking in the cash

Honestly, that LAHF guy is kind of weak...i used to do much crazier random stuff to strangers back in the day when i was a college student....i mean none of the stuff these guys do is really funny...just very low key... and mellow...i have seen much better on youtube as well...

 

[starfishandcoffee]

think of all of the times you got rejected while on dates. that sh1t makes me wake up in the morning.

I had one the other week...cute girl, first date had gone great. At the end of the second one (I'd thought this one was going well too), I leaned in and she leaned back like she was repulsed by me.

"I don't do PDA."

translation: "I've decided that you don't meet my standards. Please get the hint and don't contact me again."

Stuff like that motivates me. I hate being told I'm not worthy, and I'll find some better snatch to pound to prove that I am. Ego is a funny thing. It can motivate you to get laid, and it can also hold you back from getting laid.

With the latter...do you really think anyone's going to care if you get rejected on a public subway? In a college computer lab? In a bar? In a supermarket? No? Then go out and approach like you're dying in three weeks.

 

[instantnoodles]

I don't understand why people become so butthurt over rejection. Get over it, guys. The faster you do so, the easier your life. Your goal is to make your life as less stressful as possible.

Why be so butthurt? Why can't you take it as a sign of relief? At least you won't waste any more time than you already did. On to the next one! :yes:

Just the next the idiot. Life is easier that way once you eliminate the people who no longer are important in your life.

I've been rejected a few times (only a few, as I don't date a lot) and the rejection wasn't what hurt me. It was the fact that I thought I was "lied" to and wasted my time. No one wants their time wasted. I would rather be rejected than lied to because at least I know that the liars have a bigger problem than me. Stupid chump.

 

[PlayHer Man]

I don't understand why people become so butthurt over rejection. Get over it, guys. The faster you do so, the easier your life. Your goal is to make your life as less stressful as possible.

Why be so butthurt? Why can't you take it as a sign of relief? At least you won't waste any more time than you already did. On to the next one! :yes:

Just the next the idiot. Life is easier that way once you eliminate the people who no longer are important in your life.

I've been rejected a few times (only a few, as I don't date a lot) and the rejection wasn't what hurt me. It was the fact that I thought I was "lied" to and wasted my time. No one wants their time wasted. I would rather be rejected than lied to because at least I know that the liars have a bigger problem than me. Stupid chump.

I'm mostly responding to you so that everyone reading is fully aware that you are female and don't mistake you for a real DJ.

But if that's really how you feel.. why don't you go out and run game on men?? You say you don't date much. WHY NOT? Approach more men. Approach them first and ask them out. Go out today and approach 10 men. Why not?

I'll tell you why not --> Fear of rejection

And not just rejection from the men you approach.. but rejection from your friends and society for "putting yourself out there" or "looking desperate" as a WOMAN.

So you are being a bit of a hypocrite are you not? :nono:

 

[instantnoodles]

I'm mostly responding to you so that everyone reading is fully aware that you are female and don't mistake you for a real DJ.

But if that's really how you feel.. why don't you go out and run game on men?? You say you don't date much. WHY NOT? Approach more men. Approach them first and ask them out. Go out today and approach 10 men. Why not?

I'll tell you why not --> Fear of rejection

And not just rejection from the men you approach.. but rejection from your friends and society for "putting yourself out there" or "looking desperate" as a WOMAN.

I never said I wasn't. I have made it clear in my very first post on here

Well, I am not looking to date right now, that's why. I kinda have someone and that's what matters the most However, I do run into men at work and if there's a possibility, run game on them too while avoiding to take their numbers (also hard when they keep asking). I'm just practicing my interaction and I'm fine like this, P-Man.

I guess so but it's mostly my values/morals and I can live without getting so much annoying attention from men. I get it everyday and it's boring to me - comes so easily I don't even have to game. If I wanted to, I can get not only 10 but even 20 or 30 numbers. But I'm not interested. I just want one person in my life. The attention from one person is the best thing ever and it's special. Having one person is nice...easy....and simple. Less hassle for me ^_^

 

[PlayHer Man]

I never said I wasn't. I have made it clear in my very first post on here

Well, I am not looking to date right now, that's why. I kinda have someone and that's what matters the most However, I do run into men at work and if there's a possibility, run game on them too while avoiding to take their numbers (also hard when they keep asking). I'm just practicing my interaction and I'm fine like this, P-Man.

I guess so but it's mostly my values/morals and I can live without getting so much annoying attention from men. I get it everyday and it's boring to me - comes so easily I don't even have to game. If I wanted to, I can get not only 10 but even 20 or 30 numbers. But I'm not interested. I just want one person in my life. The attention from one person is the best thing ever and it's special. Having one person is nice...easy....and simple. Less hassle for me ^_^

Damn straight instantnoodles because the monogamous relationship (at least in 2013) is primarily the female domain. Once a woman finds a pandering beta faggot she can control, life is pretty good. No hassle. No stress --> Because SHE is in control. Why stress when you're in control?

...And like you said.. since you can get 10, 20, 30 numbers EASILY without much work.. you have many options if your current beta faggot gets boring / annoying / high maintenance.

Are you paying attention gentlemen?

Women love a captive man because it makes their life easier while making the man's harder. Spin plates, spin plates, spin plates!

 

[instantnoodles]

Damn straight instantnoodles because the monogamous relationship (at least in 2013) is primarily the female domain. Once a woman finds a pandering beta faggot she can control, life is pretty good. No hassle. No stress --> Because SHE is in control. Why stress when you're in control?

...And like you said.. since you can get 10, 20, 30 numbers EASILY without much work.. you have many options if your current beta faggot gets boring / annoying / high maintenance.

Are you paying attention gentlemen?

Women love a captive man because it makes their life easier while making the man's harder. Spin plates, spin plates, spin plates!

Lol. Actually because I have a lot of stress in my life already. I don't need more and neither does the other person. I never saw it as control anyway. Just as a means of living my life (school, family) more easier. I had a rough year and I guess I need to relax.

My man, correction. Ahem. No those 10/20/30 people are beta faggots, not even worth my time. Some of them are such chumps

If it's making the man's life harder, it shouldn't really. I suppose he's in the wrong place. It should make his life easier too as it reaches the "comfort" phase.

Ok spin plates have fun a.k.a get your control before you die :yes:

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

No those 10/20/30 people are beta faggots, not even worth my time. Some of them are such chumps

Annnd....boom goes the dynamite.

 

[SamTheHobit]

I guess the reason I don't approach any more is because most if not all of them laugh behind my back to there friends.

I don't know if anyone can relate. It's not out of fear of approaching its just becomes embarrassing.

Seems women these days take it as an insult if you approach them. They won't tell you directly but you better believe they're making fun of you with there friends.

Today for example I was chilling with 4 females and the one was going on about how much attention she gets from guys and how she's to busy forr them. She has such a big ego fvck it really struck a nerve in me I just stood up and went back to class.

 

[instantnoodles]

I guess the reason I don't approach any more is because most if not all of them laugh behind my back to there friends.

I don't know if anyone can relate. It's not out of fear of approaching its just becomes embarrassing.

Seems women these days take it as an insult if you approach them. They won't tell you directly but you better believe they're making fun of you with there friends.

Today for example I was chilling with 4 females and the one was going on about how much attention she gets from guys and how she's to busy forr them. She has such a big ego fvck it really struck a nerve in me I just stood up and went back to class.

Oh poor you. I feel sorry for you


You just stood up and went back to class? Damn chump/AFC move. I'm trying to help you become a better man! Neg her brainz out if you ever share the same class. She forgets to do her homework? Neg her infront of the whole class! Listen to me, I'm a girl and I know most girls don't have much self-respect for themselves because of their low self-esteem. She'll eventually want your validation and will be drooling all over her if you teach her a lesson :crackup:

I always pick and choose carefully the females I want as friends in my life. I don't want a snake-a$$ or a jealous B****. Quality friends are worthy to me ONLY.

Just shutup and go out there, kick her ego. Why do you think rejection to me is nothing? Turn it around. In seconds, I was negging one of those guys who have the car and tattoo and thinks he's Jonny from Grease. He was so offended. Not to mention he tried to make it up by 'offering me a date'. Ouff :nervous:

Then I told him I was taken and skipped off to work. What a great day.