Why do we even have dating coaching?

[namismybabe]

My own belief is that because society now is less judgmental, we don't mock those who can't hit on women properly so dating coaches and even **** like PUA has emerged. I remember as a teenager in the 90s, guys would be roundly scorned for not being able to hit on the girls, but now there are stacks of (IMO ****ty advice) on Youtube to peruse lol.

I think dating is made way too complex. Look, as most people on this site are men, getting a date/gf is simple:

- Men rely on looks as the initial attraction point. Of course, looks are subjective to some degree. Some like boobs, legs, hair, face, bum/arse, etc. and yeah women would say it's shallow but IMO tough **** haha.. It's how our brains work and how we evolved.

- After that, pursue, if she's keen, then makes things exclusive. If not, then there are so many other women to hit on.

So really, looks, pursuit, relationship (or marriage if that's what you want). it's that simple! none of this kino, or "escalation" or "social proof" (which PUAs stole from psychology and don't even use properly lol.) **** lol.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Looks? WTF is this with all this stupid ass advice.

Your criteria should be:

Is she in shape? Yes (proceed) No "Fck off!"
Is she semi good looking? Yes (proceed) No (proceed)
Can you cook and are you willing to learn? Yes (proceed) No "Fck off and die b1tch!"
Do you like children? Yes (proceed) No "fck off!"

Am I in North America? Yes "fck off!" No "Let's date"

Sometimes the nicest chicks weren't born with the best faces/teeth/whatever. Guarnteed, they won't have an ego and will try a bit harder than the chicks born with looks. Also don't date American women who believe they were born with looks.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Stop Hatin'

My own belief is that because society now is less judgmental, we don't mock those who can't hit on women properly so dating coaches and even **** like PUA has emerged.

It has nothing to do with a "less judgmental society," but every thing to do with there being a market for this sh*t and dudes that are proficient enough in the game to teach it. What you're saying is as asinine as asking, "Why do people need personal trainers? Just join Gold's Gym, go for two hours a day, for five days a week, and in two years you'll be buffed."

I remember as a teenager in the 90s, guys would be roundly scorned for not being able to hit on the girls,

I sincerely hope you're a "natural" saying this bullsh*t. The fact of the matter is that you may have been getting a$$ in high school, but you probably weren't making the correlation as to why.

but now there are stacks of (IMO ****ty advice) on Youtube to peruse lol.

Please post an example of this "sh*tty advice, I'd like to see it. By the way, you didn't use "peruse" correctly in that sentence.

I think dating is made way too complex. Look, as most people on this site are men, getting a date/gf is simple:

That may or may not be true, but the fact of the matter is that my luck with women didn't turn until I learned the "how comes", the "what ifs", the "whys," and the "why nots", of this pickup sh*t.


http://i850.photobucket.com/albums/ab64/OmnipotensMaximusRex/ANewLook_zps0fd656cb.jpg

http://i850.photobucket.com/albums/ab64/OmnipotensMaximusRex/Pimpin_zps022cbe7c.jpg

http://i850.photobucket.com/albums/ab64/OmnipotensMaximusRex/MeandJohnnieThunderbird_zps6336a375.jpg

That's me, Omniptens Maximus Rex and this is the first and definitely the last time I'll ever ask this of a man, but on a scale of 1-10 what would you give me? (No homo,)

If you say that I'm above a 7, according to you I should have been banging chicks left and right simply based off my looks. However, that wasn't the case, never mind the fact that chicks found ole Rex attractive. As a matter of fact they used to say, "Rex is cute, but he's stupid.

Before I was exposed to Louis and Copeland's How to Succeed with Women, "The Tom Leykis Show," American Pimp, The Game, and this very website, I was doing sh*t wrong, VERY WRONG! I would holla at a chick and inevitably in or around three weeks later, the b*tch would lose interest and I had no clue as to why. All this did was leave me angry and embittered. I felt that by "listening to Oprah," and doing all of the things that women said that wanted a man to do, (be sensitive, listen to them, give them gifts, etc.) I would eventually find sex and relationships, but I was grossly mistaken. It was a very rude awakening indeed when realized what I was doing and what I had to offer at them at the time wasn't what women wanted nor was it presented in the proper context. The f*cked up irony is that a lot of bullsh*t I was doing ran counter to my personality.

- Men rely on looks as the initial attraction point. Of course, looks are subjective to some degree. Some like boobs, legs, hair, face, bum/arse, etc. and yeah women would say it's shallow but IMO tough **** haha.. It's how our brains work and how we evolved.

What's your point? We're talking about what women are attracted to. Women are looking for a man's ability to protect and provide for her.

- After that, pursue, if she's keen, then makes things exclusive. If not, then there are so many other women to hit on.

How, pray tell do we get to this point?

So really, looks,

So if you're a guy that's a 5 or less, then you're just f*cked in the game?

it's that simple! none of this kino, or "escalation"

You know what happens when you try to kiss, touch, or f*ck with no without a smooth transition to female-to-male interest? THEY SHUT YOU THE F*CK DOWN IMMEDIATELY AND SOMETIMES HARSHLY! I know from experience (and as other guys on this site will tell you,) you just can't go on a date with a chick and at the end of that date just try to kiss her. To the woman this sh*t is going to seem random as f*ck. Also, if you don't establish your intent early and often, you're going to end up in the friend zone.

or "social proof"

Explain some things to me:

1) Why do chicks pursue men with children?

2) Why did men start wearing skinny jeans in around the same time that Lil Wayne did?

3) Why do marketing companies use celebrities in the advertising campaigns?

4) I tried to holla at my best friend's cousin to no avail. When she found that I was messing with my Boo Boo, she suddenly treated Rex to lunch and he damn near f*cked this broad. Why was she suddenly interested in ole Rex?

5) I was dealing with "HONEY," literally for about eight years and the most I've did with her was lick her snatch. One night she called and ask what I was doing. I lied and told her that The NegMan and I were going to the room with some chicks. "HONEY," asked what I was going to do with the "chicks," at the hotel. I replied, "What do you think?" The next night I was f*cking "HONEY." Why after about eight years only licking her snatch did she suddenly decide to give me some?

(which PUAs stole from psychology and don't even use properly lol.)

Isn't the entire PUA philosophy based on sociological or psychological theories? How is what the PUA doing any different from what Tony Robbins teaches or Richard Greene writes in his books? The premise of your entire thread seems to be on some inexplicable and very unnecessary hatin' sh*t. It gives ole Rex the impression that you're salty because you couldn't figure out what made you successful in high school and turn that success into a viable business model. Even if PUA's did "steal" social proof from the psychology world, what difference does it make?

You may think that by tone of my reply that Rex may be "feelin' some kinda way," in regards to your post and perhaps I am; however, what you fail to realize (or accept) is that some dudes just aren't comfortable around women and they have had little or no success with them for what ever reason. When you question the need for dating coaches, when you say that muthaf*ckas were teased in high school for not "knowing how to pick up women," and when you scorn the tactics used by the PUA to get women, what you're implying is, "Unless you innately know how to conduct yourself around a woman, in addition to knowing what to do and what to say to make yourself more attractive to them, then Oh well, you're just sh*t out of luck. Not only are you not worthy of sex, you don't deserve to have a woman in your life." Or you're regulating these men to fat, ugly, or women with personality or psychological disorders.

Why doesn't the socially inept introvert deserve to have a loving and fulfilling relationship with an attractive female, especially if he's willing to pay to learn the techniques and strategies to become a proficient pickup artist? Why shouldn't others who are not only empathetic to his situation, but have devised a way to for him for find happiness be able to offer this guy his services? To ridicule the men that's willing to admit he has a problem getting women and the men that are willing to help them remedy their situation is f*cked up on an epic level.

 

[Dryden]

So basically you think getting dating advice is bullsh1t and men should be able to do it on their own.

It would be more interesting to ask the question: why have men suffered, throughout the ages, bad results with women, why aren't they more natural, and why does the need for education and/or evolution even exist?

In answering those questions, you would accept the answer to your current question, on a more serious, non-condescending note, and gain some actual wisdom.

I was recently reading Hermann Hesse's book "Demian" which talks about society around the time of the first world war, when boys and girls would still go to different schools or sit in different classes. A time when male-female contact was very hard, when sexuality was still very much frowned upon, and getting sex was totally out of reach for many, many men. It is clear that our current predicament was much worse in the past.

"I had never succeeded in getting into touch with a girl I was in love with, and I failed with this girl also. But she had made a bigger impression on me than all the others, and the influence of this crush on my life was huge."

It is the typical history (fictional) of a guy who is completely unable to bridge the gap. The same gap we experience today, when we speak (amongst other things) about approach anxiety.

 

[zekko]

I remember as a teenager in the 90s, guys would be roundly scorned for not being able to hit on the girls,

I think you're on to something here. I grew up in the 70s, and if you acted like a little b!tch or an AFC with girls, the guys would loudly mock you. If you were subservient to your girlfriend, they would call you pvssy-whipped - and not just once, they wouldn't let you forget it.

I think this is all part of the culture becoming less masculine over the past several decades. Men used to police their own.

Is she in shape? Yes (proceed) No "Fck off!"
Is she semi good looking? Yes (proceed) No (proceed)
Can you cook and are you willing to learn? Yes (proceed) No "Fck off and die b1tch!"
Do you like children? Yes (proceed) No "fck off!"

Am I in North America? Yes "fck off!" No "Let's date"

Nice flow chart

I was recently reading Hermann Hesse's book "Demian"

Hesse is a huge favorite of mine! I prefer Siddhartha, and Narcissus and Goldmund to Demian, however.

 

[namismybabe]

It has nothing to do with a "less judgmental society," but every thing to do with there being a market for this sh*t and dudes that are proficient enough in the game to teach it. What you're saying is as asinine as asking, "Why do people need personal trainers? Just join Gold's Gym, go for two hours a day, for five days a week, and in two years you'll be buffed."



I sincerely hope you're a "natural" saying this bullsh*t. The fact of the matter is that you may have been getting a$$ in high school, but you probably weren't making the correlation as to why.



Please post an example of this "sh*tty advice, I'd like to see it. By the way, you didn't use "peruse" correctly in that sentence.



That may or may not be true, but the fact of the matter is that my luck with women didn't turn until I learned the "how comes", the "what ifs", the "whys," and the "why nots", of this pickup sh*t.


http://i850.photobucket.com/albums/ab64/OmnipotensMaximusRex/ANewLook_zps0fd656cb.jpg

http://i850.photobucket.com/albums/ab64/OmnipotensMaximusRex/Pimpin_zps022cbe7c.jpg

http://i850.photobucket.com/albums/ab64/OmnipotensMaximusRex/MeandJohnnieThunderbird_zps6336a375.jpg

That's me, Omniptens Maximus Rex and this is the first and definitely the last time I'll ever ask this of a man, but on a scale of 1-10 what would you give me? (No homo,)

If you say that I'm above a 7, according to you I should have been banging chicks left and right simply based off my looks. However, that wasn't the case, never mind the fact that chicks found ole Rex attractive. As a matter of fact they used to say, "Rex is cute, but he's stupid.

Before I was exposed to Louis and Copeland's How to Succeed with Women, "The Tom Leykis Show," American Pimp, The Game, and this very website, I was doing sh*t wrong, VERY WRONG! I would holla at a chick and inevitably in or around three weeks later, the b*tch would lose interest and I had no clue as to why. All this did was leave me angry and embittered. I felt that by "listening to Oprah," and doing all of the things that women said that wanted a man to do, (be sensitive, listen to them, give them gifts, etc.) I would eventually find sex and relationships, but I was grossly mistaken. It was a very rude awakening indeed when realized what I was doing and what I had to offer at them at the time wasn't what women wanted nor was it presented in the proper context. The f*cked up irony is that a lot of bullsh*t I was doing ran counter to my personality.




What's your point? We're talking about what women are attracted to. Women are looking for a man's ability to protect and provide for her.



How, pray tell do we get to this point?



So if you're a guy that's a 5 or less, then you're just f*cked in the game?



You know what happens when you try to kiss, touch, or f*ck with no without a smooth transition to female-to-male interest? THEY SHUT YOU THE F*CK DOWN IMMEDIATELY AND SOMETIMES HARSHLY! I know from experience (and as other guys on this site will tell you,) you just can't go on a date with a chick and at the end of that date just try to kiss her. To the woman this sh*t is going to seem random as f*ck. Also, if you don't establish your intent early and often, you're going to end up in the friend zone.



Explain some things to me:

1) Why do chicks pursue men with children?

2) Why did men start wearing skinny jeans in around the same time that Lil Wayne did?

3) Why do marketing companies use celebrities in the advertising campaigns?

4) I tried to holla at my best friend's cousin to no avail. When she found that I was messing with my Boo Boo, she suddenly treated Rex to lunch and he damn near f*cked this broad. Why was she suddenly interested in ole Rex?

5) I was dealing with "HONEY," literally for about eight years and the most I've did with her was lick her snatch. One night she called and ask what I was doing. I lied and told her that The NegMan and I were going to the room with some chicks. "HONEY," asked what I was going to do with the "chicks," at the hotel. I replied, "What do you think?" The next night I was f*cking "HONEY." Why after about eight years only licking her snatch did she suddenly decide to give me some?




Isn't the entire PUA philosophy based on sociological or psychological theories? How is what the PUA doing any different from what Tony Robbins teaches or Richard Greene writes in his books? The premise of your entire thread seems to be on some inexplicable and very unnecessary hatin' sh*t. It gives ole Rex the impression that you're salty because you couldn't figure out what made you successful in high school and turn that success into a viable business model. Even if PUA's did "steal" social proof from the psychology world, what difference does it make?

You may think that by tone of my reply that Rex may be "feelin' some kinda way," in regards to your post and perhaps I am; however, what you fail to realize (or accept) is that some dudes just aren't comfortable around women and they have had little or no success with them for what ever reason. When you question the need for dating coaches, when you say that muthaf*ckas were teased in high school for not "knowing how to pick up women," and when you scorn the tactics used by the PUA to get women, what you're implying is, "Unless you innately know how to conduct yourself around a woman, in addition to knowing what to do and what to say to make yourself more attractive to them, then Oh well, you're just sh*t out of luck. Not only are you not worthy of sex, you don't deserve to have a woman in your life." Or you're regulating these men to fat, ugly, or women with personality or psychological disorders.

Why doesn't the socially inept introvert deserve to have a loving and fulfilling relationship with an attractive female, especially if he's willing to pay to learn the techniques and strategies to become a proficient pickup artist? Why shouldn't others who are not only empathetic to his situation, but have devised a way to for him for find happiness be able to offer this guy his services? To ridicule the men that's willing to admit he has a problem getting women and the men that are willing to help them remedy their situation is f*cked up on an epic level.

er... it's just a theory as to why dating coaching is big now.

Also, I just think dating coaching in most if not all forms is hot air/bull**** and way too complex than it needs to be (including PUA). And yeah, ugly people don't hold a dating disadvantage.... I guess that's new news to many, eh? I don't believe in leagues as absolutes, but then generally hot people date other hot people with exceptions of course.

 

[zekko]

I get the impression that when you talk about "dating coaching", you're actually talking about seduction material and pickup forums.

I've always thought that having an actual coach could be very helpful though. He would have to be a very knowledgeable and insightful guy who could observe your interactions, diagnose your strengths and weaknesses and make suggestions. Sort of like a real trainer or coach. To me this sounds much more helpful than the sort of generic, one size fits all, act like a bad boy stuff, PUA advice you usually hear.

Because I really do believe that we all have our own unique set of problems (if any) when it comes to women. It's not all as simple as "I'm an AFC, I need to be more alpha".

Having said that, I can't imagine anyone I would trust to fill such a position. This is also the sort of thing you might be able to get in a bootcamp, but the price of such things are pretty ridiculous. There's a stigma to it, paying to learn to get pvssy, is similar to paying for a prostitute. It's paying for something you should be able to do yourself.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I think also the rise of technology has had a negative impact on us humans socially

 

[Mike32ct]

I don't think dating, pickup, game, etc. can actually be "taught."

Sure, a knowledgeable guy can answer some questions for you and share some experiences, but ultimately, you have to find your own way.

Every guy is going to tell you what they would do, but their style of game might not fit your personality. That's why I roll my eyes at the "one size fits all" advice to be c&f lol.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I don't think dating, pickup, game, etc. can actually be "taught."

Sure, a knowledgeable guy can answer some questions for you and share some experiences, but ultimately, you have to find your own way.

Every guy is going to tell you what they would do, but their style of game might not fit your personality. That's why I roll my eyes at the "one size fits all" advice to be c&f lol.

well they probably exist to give us constructive criticism, let us know what we are doing right and what we are doing wrong when it comes to meeting and approaching women, which I believe helps a lot that way we can learn from our mistakes a lot easier

 

[Mike32ct]

well they probably exist to give us constructive criticism, let us know what we are doing right and what we are doing wrong when it comes to meeting and approaching women, which I believe helps a lot that way we can learn from our mistakes a lot easier

Yeah. You can get some decent feedback and hopefully fix some mistakes. Nothing wrong with that.

I just mean that ultimately you have to develop your own game. They can't give you a complete road map. Well they can, but it probably wouldn't suit you exactly.

I think it's ok if you are realistic about it. "I'm gonna get some pointers and fix some sticking points to improve my chances" rather than "This guy is gonna teach me how to be a ladies man. I'm gonna learn and memorize his method step by step so I can score regularly."