Why do they do this?

[takeiteazy]

Okay, I already posted about this girl before. But Just need a little bit of advice. I know its over but perhaps someone can explain the following.

This girl was into me for about a year. Always played it cool and finally went on a few dates. We were sleeping together for about three months. Then she says she doesn't want to get heavy and wants to cool things off (quit basically). Says she was developing feelings but doesn't want the fullblown romance.

After a little bit of chasing I finally realise that her interest level has dropped far lower then mine and I agree.

"Its for the best, at least we can then see other people. I hope we can be adult and remain friends in the future etc." I say.

And then I see her at work and she can hardly look me in the eye. Very sharp tone of voice etc.

Now I am pretty sure that this girl doesn't want anything to do with me - and to be honest I've just about had my lot of this emotional roller coaster. But why the bad attitude now? I've given her what she wants!

 

[Panda 2000]

Sometimes it's not about finding the answers, it's about asking the right question. And in this case, you should be asking yourself the question - why should you care?

 

[takeiteazy]

I shouldn't care.

But unfortunately I do. And thats the reason it got all fvcked up in the first place. Its bizarre!

 

[flexion_]

When a woman says she wants to cool things off it means she isn't interested in you. She was going through the process of slowly detaching herself emotionally from you to eventually drop you like cold turkey when something better comes along.

You beat her to it - killed her slow detaching process and now she is pissed off that mentally it now bothers her. You messed up her routine is all.

So you actually should be feeling good about yourself.

 

[Demon]

But why the bad attitude now? I've given her what she wants!

Don't expect women to share your fix-it logic.

 

[jigga23]

dude when she said that sh!t about cooling it off you should be like ok thats your choice. well thats not what i want so theres no point for us to even talk so i cant promise you well even talk anymore/ill be around etc. and say see you when i see you. ive gotten that line a couple of times. i just say the same sh!t and it never fails. you should have not chased. from now on if and when you see her do not even look at her or talk to her. if she really likes you she will come back to you. right now your acting like a needy dude somewhat that has lost all control. you control what happens not her.

 

[Kings_royalty]

When a woman says she wants to cool things off it means she isn't interested in you. She was going through the process of slowly detaching herself emotionally from you to eventually drop you like cold turkey when something better comes along.

You beat her to it - killed her slow detaching process and now she is pissed off that mentally it now bothers her. You messed up her routine is all.

So you actually should be feeling good about yourself.

Exactly! Nice job bro, you handled it well. Who cares how she acts now, it’s irrelevant.

 

[takeiteazy]

She texted me last night. A pretty banal message and to wish me a good night.

I ignored it until this morning - wanted her to think I was out and about. Just said 'cheers' in the message.

I'm not holding out much hope of winning her back but her number has been deleted from my phone and I have no intention of chasing her etc.

 

[anointed]

if she txts you dont reply. Keep any interaction person to person from here on out. Let her chase. Not replying to txts and emails can be powerful at times.

Overall though Is this all a case of you wanting to bang her cos u have nobody else? ask yourself.. is it oneitis here? becaues that can screw you over in the self control department..

youre doing alright though. Just let her chase while you go about your day!

 

[takeiteazy]

If I am being honest it is a case of oneitis. However as each day goes by I am slowly beginning to worry less about trying to win her back. Which I imagine is a good thing.

To be honest I don't think she can handle a relationship with anybody right now. I'm gonna move on. I'll still bump into her at work from time to time. The reason she liked me to begin with was because I was a challenge (I was always a little aloof). When I got together with her I started getting a little desperate.

I'll move on. But I wouldn't rule out fvcking her again in the coming months. Except this time, I'll keep all my emotions in check......

 

[takeiteazy]

This is interesting.

She phoned again last night. I ignored it. Texted her this morning. She phoned straight back. Had a fairly banal conversation. I was gonna ignore her but guessed that would seem like I was really bothered. so kept the conversation very low key. Finished it very quickly.....

Interesting this.

Not sure what her game is, or if she is trying to build bridges. But the ironic thing is I don't even think I want her back now anyway!

 

[Kings_royalty]

This is interesting.

She phoned again last night. I ignored it. Texted her this morning. She phoned straight back. Had a fairly banal conversation. I was gonna ignore her but guessed that would seem like I was really bothered. so kept the conversation very low key. Finished it very quickly.....

Interesting this.

Not sure what her game is, or if she is trying to build bridges. But the ironic thing is I don't even think I want her back now anyway!

Beautiful...

 

[takeiteazy]

Okay there is a very good chance I will see this girl tomorrow at work (we work different shifts but tomorrow I'll be in charge of her).

Any ideas how I should play it?

 

[takeiteazy]

Worked with her again yesterday. Anyway, went for a quick drink after work and ended up back at hers. Nothing apart from a bit of cuddling etc before I left.

She is going away for a couple of weeks now so hopefully see her when she gets back.

Its very odd though. I don't know where I stand. When I play hard to get she really wants me but yet again I felt that as I was leaving she was pulling away again. There is no doubt that when I am in her company I am coming across as an AFC. It is turning her off. Any suggestions guys as to how I can still lay this girl without coming across as too needy?

 

[insanity]

thats so fun how ex-girlfriends think. when you ignore their little games like when they call, email, and flat out can't figure out why your not on your hands and knees begging, what do they do to justify that they still have control that you still want them? they spread their legs.

i always wondered back in my afc days how some of my friends always seemed to get booty calls from their exs and i didn't. its because i called them back, i emailed them back and when they said they missed me, yep i said i missed them too. then i tried staying away and what do you know they would get drunk and call me up for the lay down.

just always remember not to out your emotions into it. your just temporary on their lay list till they meet another guy.