why do people seek validation from those who disrespect them?

[solo1]

thats the one thing i never can understand about people. My friend for example, he's 6 years older than me. his friend who's around the same age that goes nowhere with his life and still lives iwth his parents. personally i dont like his friend because he has a big ego usually doesnt listen to what anyone has to say. he ditched his friend on b-day w/o an apology big disrespect there. The big irony of it all is my friend wants to start up a firm with this loser. i just cant quite picture how any of this even fits together.

On my end, if i or my friend call up each other to do something, he'll either make excuses not to go or try to get his other 2 friends to tag along, if they wont go, he wont go.

so generally i dont bother asking him to chill, but i still keep in contact every now and then.

If it were me, i wouldnt bother wasting time with someone that disrespects me. friends come and go in life, dont see a point holding tightly onto something that doesnt reciprocate respect.

i just dont understand the purpose of seeking validation from disrespect...anyuone?

 

[MrS]

It's because people are different, and make you feel different emotions.
People who seek validation from disrespectful folks are generally a bit insecure, and "like" the emotion/drama, maybe.
My 2 cents.

 

[Visceral]

Disrespect is a sign of dominance ... who but a very high status man could get away with it without trouble?

I think it's an instinctive response. So long as the behavior is genuine and not an act, even if the other guy has nothing going for him, people will not only put up with him but seek his approval and company. Only a man who has never had any limits placed on his behavior, but more importantly has never been cut down to size afterwards, would dare act this way ... and to the most primitive parts of our brains, that's the sign of a bigger, stronger, meaner man - an alpha - and so our instincts compel us to submit.

The only way this doesn't work is when the victim actually is higher status than the perpetrator; whether he acts on instinct or sees that there's nothing backing up the behavior, he'll do what he wants, and put the other guy in his place.

 

[solo1]

It's because people are different, and make you feel different emotions.
People who seek validation from disrespectful folks are generally a bit insecure, and "like" the emotion/drama, maybe.
My 2 cents.

i think you hit the spot. knowing my friend that is how he is. But i think he's willing to accept this kind of behavior from his friend because he wants teh friendship. knowing him, i think he does prefer the emotion/drama

Disrespect is a sign of dominance ... who but a very high status man could get away with it without trouble?

I dont agree with that, not in this situation anyway. disrespect also means making yourself feel better by making others feel worse, only those with self-esteem do this which i can already see through in his friend. He is just an insecure afc with a big ego.

From all the friends i've had so far, it seems insecure people have trouble being friends with secure people, they dont want to be treated like an equal, they desire to be treated like dirt.

 

[DJ_in_making]

Its human nature

NO ONE likes to be disliked. I don't care if they always say "I don't care what people think about me" that's not true. Everyone wants to some extent to fit in and gain others' approval. That's why negs and crap work so well on girls, people in general like what they have to chase or what doesn't come easy.