why do men have "fetishes" but women have "turnons"?

[Robert28]

Something I've been wondering lately. Say a guy happens to think a girl he is attracted to looks sexy in a certain pair of heels, or flats, or has pretty feet, or maybe a girl having pretty feet or he prefer girls that wear heels or flats is important to him about the types of women he dates. To me a girl having well kept feet would lead me to believe that she was clean and took care of herself, that would be important to me. I mean if I have to kept myself groomed well then dammit you should to for christ's sake. Yet if a guy admits these are things he prefers in a woman or happens to find attractive, the woman automatically assumes he has a "fetish for feet or shoes". I also like very feminine women. I hate women that wear boots, I think that's borderline manish and women should stick to heels and dressy flats and shoes that are distinguishable from MENS clothing. you don't see any guys buying bra's and panties do you? you see us buying those long sweaters and wearing tights? ofcourse not, that's what WOMEN wear.

my point is this, why do women assume a guy has a fetish when he mentions he likes certain things, yet a woman can admit to being attracted to men with blue eyes, nice smiles, big arms, etc. Why could those not be labeled as "fetishes"? seems like a double standard to me.

 

[Mike32ct]

It is a double standard like everything else. Fetish could imply that he's some kind of creeper/pervert/deviant just for having some benign fantasy or turn on.

But you are correct that the word fetish is usually only applied to men.

Besides that, most women are not open to even hearing about guys' fantasies or turn ons. Even the most liberal women who pride themselves on their tolerance and open minds will usually think the worst of you if you reveal even a benign turn on.

The exception might be if you've been in a relationship with her for while. She might then cut you some slack and agree to put on nurse scrubs or meet some other bizarre request lol.

 

[Leporello]

If a guy likes Asian girls, it's a 'fetish'

If a girl likes tall guys, it's just her 'taste'.

 

[Robert28]

It is a double standard like everything else. Fetish could imply that he's some kind of creeper/pervert/deviant just for having some benign fantasy or turn on.

But you are correct that the word fetish is usually only applied to men.

Besides that, most women are not open to even hearing about guys' fantasies or turn ons. Even the most liberal women who pride themselves on their tolerance and open minds will usually think the worst of you if you reveal even a benign turn on.

exactly! but what else is hard to understand if women don't like guys having these so called "fetishes" then why cater to them? why spend that $100 on a pair of shoes, why spend $30 on a pedicure? I know some guys SAY they go to the gym to get ripped because "it makes them feel good and they want to be healthy" but if being a fatass were what women were attracted to i bet 90% of the gyms around would close down tomorrow for lack of business. if i have to hear about that weird ass fantasy of "being choked or being raped" from some woman then she sure as hell can hear about my likes.

 

[Robert28]

If a guy likes Asian girls, it's a 'fetish'

If a girl likes tall guys, it's just her 'taste'.

bingo! hammer meet nail.

 

[st_99]

never thought about that but good point. just another man shaming tactic.

i think all these things are just meant to keep us 'in check' no different than guys calling girls wh0res.

 

[Sir Psycho Sexy]

if i have to hear about that weird ass fantasy of "being choked or being raped" from some woman then she sure as hell can hear about my likes.

Ive heard about that weird fetish too. They want "pretend rape"


Im going to try shaming women when the opportunity arises and see how they handle it. She dates black men? She must have a black fetish. She only likes men with jobs? She must have a job fetish. lol...

 

[Robert28]

Ive heard about that weird fetish too. They want "pretend rape"


Im going to try shaming women when the opportunity arises and see how they handle it. She dates black men? She must have a black fetish. She only likes men with jobs? She must have a job fetish. lol...

i've been doing this. they call you an "@$$hole"lol

 

[handle]

Never ever experienced this double standard. You sure you aren't making this up?

 

[Robert28]

Never ever experienced this double standard. You sure you aren't making this up?

you will you just arent trying.

 

[handle]

A little presumptuous. I've heard both terms thrown around... But pretty evenly between the sexes.

 

[Deep Dish]

Just like the word “addiction,” the word “fetish” has been bastardized from its original, clinical definition. Technically, there is no such thing as a “foot fetish.” Strictly speaking, a fetish must involve an inanimate object as its focus, and fantasies involving body parts are considered “partialisms.” Fetishes, in the original sense of the word, are only found in men. Ironically, women use sex toys like dildos, although as perfunctory tools rather than as the focus of fantasy.

Women don't have the sex drive comparable to men, so naturally they would view men as sexual aberrations and would hijack the rather obscure concept of “fetishes” broadly to mock and shame men.