Originally posted by MetalFortress
A confident, tough, strong, smart, masculine man with some sensitivity, not a guy who is sensitive and nothing else.
This pretty much sums it up. I don't want to delve too deeply into the philosophy of "love", but the Greeks used to believe there were four types of love. For an LTR to work, more than just one has to be present.
Eros is erotic love, which we all know. This is probably how most relationships start out and, for sex to take place, this is all that's necessary. For a relationship, however, you need to develop
philios love, which is the love between friends, a love that comes from the desire of humans to be accepted and cared about. Eventually, if it goes as far as marriage, a third kind of love,
storge, needs to develop, which is more of a familial love, the love you have for family members, since at marriage-time you are bringing this girl into your family. Then, with all three of these present, over time, you may, with a little faith, experience
agape, which is an eternal, unconditional love. Also known as "God's love".
So why did I go off on this ridiculous tangent? Simple. In these sexually liberated times, women end up dating a lot of men with whom they experience
eros, erotic love. But when they try to take the relationship to the next level and start developing
philios love, they find that the "jerk" who satsified them so well erotically is incapable of giving them anything emotionally. Having gone through this again and again, they cry out for the "nice, sensitive guy," the one they can experience
philios with.
Then they meet the "nice, sensitive" guy. The one with more
philios to give than anyone she's met before. He longs to be accepted and liked and enjoy long talks and the activities that friends do. Seemingly just what she was
asking for, but when she was ASKING for the nice guy, the
philios love, she had already had her
eros need satisfied by the meathead she was dating. Now that she's broken up with
eros-man,
philios-man suddenly doesn't look so attractive. She needs to get that basic erotic, sexual need met first. She needs to find someone who is masculine and confident and sensual and can satisfy her need for
eros before she can go seeking
philios, and the nice guy has no prayer of being able to satisfy that.
Bottom line: Women are women first and foremost. Just like people in general need food and water before they can think about things like houses and cars, women need a masculine man before they can think of things like caring and relationships.
This is also why you see the situations where women have three guys: a guy they're married to who provides and raises the kids, a guy friend who they can talk about all their feelings with, and the stud lover on the side who can handle her sexually. Together, she's got all bases covered.
Actually wouldn't be a bad setup for a man, either.
