Why do I screw up with the girls that I actually like?

[Dave111]

There's this girl who I work with, and we get on like a house on fire, we have lots in common, she makes me laugh, I make her laugh and I feel really comfortable with her, also she is absolutley stunning too. We've hooked up numerous times over the past few months. she just asked me if I'd go to Amsterdam with her at the end of the month which is the reason I'm posting this message as I am confused if you read on you'll maybe see why.

She is constantly flirting with me, touching me, eye contact etc etc, but after the last time we hooked up about a month ago She told me that she had all these feelings for me and how I make her feel these things like no other guy she knows blah blah, so I thought that we were on to something good, as I really like her too. Then during the next week she completely flakes on me and says that she isn't interested in anything else happening with us ????, but then she asks me to go to Amsterdam with her and she asks me out to the cinema and god knows where else. She's giving out all these signals to me and its starting to really confuse me,

I would just like to know what the hell is happening here between me and her!

I dont want to make a fool of myself and make another move on her if she is just gonna flake again, but I really dont know what to do

 

[ScrewIt]

For one thing, dont be too available to her.

if she asks you go to amsterdam or cinema, say you've already made plans that day to do something else. which by then you should find something to do that day.

even if a girl does have high IL at start, being too available will lower their IL. i've done something liek that in the past.

 

[DEKKA]

sounds like she's not attracted to you in as sexual way. maybe she see's you as a friend. i mean you haven't really given us a lot of information, but from you saying that she doesn't want there to be an "us" and still wants to go to amsterdam or whatever with you because she thinks of you as a good friend. you didn't mention anything sexual that you did with her and the way you said you guys hooked up made it seem like more of a platonic thing. what have you guys done? have you taken any initiative in expressing your sexual side? is she single? perhaps you didn't act on your desire like you should have.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

This is the same girl you posted about last week - you are drinking buddies and that is all - quit talking to her as a friend and move on - she bluntly stated her intentions were NOT romantic!!! Do not go to Amsterdam with her...she wants you as a bodyguard that will provide her with security.

 

[Genghis Juan]

To answer your general question:

Why do I screw up with the girls I actually like?

I would say that, you are taking the friends route. When you go on a date with a girl, it has to be in one of the two categories; action date (i.e. going to a mueseum) or a passive date (dinner) depending on where you stand with her.

Going to a bar with a girl as drinking buddies is NOT a date, no matter what your intentions are. She will interpert this as a "get-together" between friends.

In the beginning, you should have asked her out for an action date, go to the muesuem or something.

I have alot of friends that keep making these same blunders, then when the girl hooks up and dates some other guy; they are flabbergasted.

I am no master DJ at all, I am still learning the game. But what I stated is a definite axiom.

 

[fezz]

dude, dont go with her to amsterdam. show her you really dont need her, but it looks like you might already be in the friends zone

 

[DJnomore]

Cold hard truth...

You and I have the same problem.

I do very well with women I am not interested in but not so well when I am interested.

Obviously we are doing something different when we start to like a girl. Soooo we need to hold off longer and let her fall first.

Simple test.

Her" You want to come to amsterdam with me"
You" Depends"
Her" On what"
You" I getting any sex out of this?

Its a simple test. If she likes you it will be ok. If she thinks you are just friends then it won't.