Why do I feel bad? I thought I was over her.

[FM 3321]

I made a thread about this before but the story is that I dated my sisters best friend up until a couple months ago and I found out through my sister that she liked someone else at the time.

It was the first realtionship I had thanks to what I've learned from the seduciton community but now I'm trying to get over this girl.

I promised myself to leave the girl alone and I haven't talked to her for more than a week and I was feeling fine until tonight I hear my sister talking to her and they're lauging and joking and this overwhelming feeling of missing her came over me. At first I didn't tell my sister about the relationship I had with her friend but then finally I broke it to her and she just thougt it was funny.

So I'm just wondering why I would feel so bad hearing my sister talk to her. I could hear my "ex" on the other line laughing and I'm just like what the hell is wrong with me? I thought I was over her. I'm not sure what advice I'm looking for but I guess I feel like venting. I guess this is what I get for dating my sisters best friend and falling "in love" with her.

PS: Plus it's worse when they're talking about the new guy she's dating. Good thing my sister's leaving for college in a week.

 

[Blackstar]

dam kid.....

go out and meet other people, date other people too, dont keep your mind on a girl that is not even with you anymore.
you all broke up, regardless of whoever broke up, wether u or her the agreement to end it was there, and im sure u had your reasons just like she had hers.

The way you sound is like you dont have that many chicks to talk to , to vibe with and whatnot, do that, you will soon start to see that your ex is nothing compare to all this hb's

 

[FM 3321]

Well I was in the bathroom and couldn't help to over hear their conversation. They were talking about stuff to do on Valentines day, this new guy and kissing and my heart just went from Ok, to sinking in acid.

I'm being pathetic but it's like the feelings hit me like a brick wall.

I'll get over this. I feel like I'm in love with her but it's really probably insecurity on my part that I need to get handled.

 

[belividere]

dont worry you'll get over it. You either really liked her more than you thought or feel jealous that she is with someone else now. These are natural feelings. Were you together for a long time?

 

[FM 3321]

Originally posted by belividere
dont worry you'll get over it. You either really liked her more than you thought or feel jealous that she is with someone else now. These are natural feelings. Were you together for a long time?

We weren't officially together because I never thought there was a point to making it "official". We just started hanging out alot which led to our first kiss last summer. Then we kept seeing each other until early November. It seemed to fizzle out and I matched her frequency of calls.....once or twice a week until I learned through my sister that she liked someone else. This was a guy who liked her for two years and we used to joke on how much he annoyed her. I was shocked to be honest.

So I guess we were together for about 5 months. It fizzled out and I kinda let it go. From what I've learned theres no point in grasping for her back. It's a helpless feeling but I know begging for her back would NOT work and leaving her alone by ceasing contact has alot of uncertianty.

Best I can do is work on improving myself. The feelings just hit me today for some reason and had to make a thread about it.

Plus in thinking about it, I'm 24 and she's 20. It seems rediculous having a 24 year old "chasing" after a 20 year old. I would have made a damn fool of myself if it wasn't for the seduction community. It would have probably been endless calling, begging, apologizing and pleading.

Thanks for the responses, I'll get over it.

 

[belividere]

If you did want something serious with her than maybe you should just tell her. It's not begging or apologizing to her but maybe she just felt that after 5 months she wanted something that you didn't. Maybe thats why she went for the guy who has been lusting over her for 2 years.

 

[FM 3321]

Originally posted by belividere
If you did want something serious with her than maybe you should just tell her. It's not begging or apologizing to her but maybe she just felt that after 5 months she wanted something that you didn't. Maybe thats why she went for the guy who has been lusting over her for 2 years.

I know hindsight is 20/20 and I have a feeling that it would be way too late to tell her that now. I did call her up one time and we has a little "talk" about a month and a half ago where I said "It looks like we had something good going between us and it looks like it just fizzled out, I wanted to see what's up?"

She responded with a long ramble about how she was busy with school and just wanted to have fun. I did my best not to sound needy but anyway that was pretty much the jist of that conversation.

Last time I talked to her she said she'd call me back but she didn't. There's really nothing I can do unless she contacts me in some way......unless there's some magic line I can tell her to get her feeling in love with me again...heh.

 

[belividere]

we all live and learn. Sounds like you had fun will it lasted though and thats what counts.

 

[FM 3321]

Originally posted by belividere
we all live and learn. Sounds like you had fun will it lasted though and thats what counts.

Very true and trust me.........the good times with her were fun, fun, fun.........wow. ....

 

[belividere]

awesome. I'm sure you'll find some more good times ahead

 

[FM 3321]

Originally posted by belividere
awesome. I'm sure you'll find some more good times ahead

I will. Seeing my first relationship end was like an earthquake and today I felt an "aftershock".

With that said, I need to practice improving my skills with women and eliminate my insecurities.

 

[dearsappho]

Why is it ridiculous for a 24 year old to be 'chasing' a 20 year old? I turned 31 2 days ago and have recently split from an 18 year old, before that a 17 year old. In the last year I have dated numerous women between the ages of 17 and 43.
Age is a state of mind.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by dearsappho
Why is it ridiculous for a 24 year old to be 'chasing' a 20 year old? I turned 31 2 days ago and have recently split from an 18 year old, before that a 17 year old. In the last year I have dated numerous women between the ages of 17 and 43.
Age is a state of mind.

I second that notion....one of the worst cases of oneitis I ever got was over some 18 year old chik, and I was in my early 20's at the time.

 

[Life-Trainee]

Here's what you do. Take a cutout of her face and paste it on a cutout of Janet Reno's body and hang it on the wall. After a couple of day you'll be completely off her.

 

[FM 3321]

Originally posted by dearsappho
Why is it ridiculous for a 24 year old to be 'chasing' a 20 year old? I turned 31 2 days ago and have recently split from an 18 year old, before that a 17 year old. In the last year I have dated numerous women between the ages of 17 and 43.
Age is a state of mind.

Well this is my sisters best friend so it's like I've known her for around 5 or 6 years. Didn't really start talking until about 2 years ago because my sister suggested become running partners.

I knew she was hot but I never was interested in her romantically until last year. So I used to truly think of her as a bratty little girl next door. I see where you're coming from.

I'll keep that in mind, age is a state of mind.

 

[cave dweller]

heart

FM3321

Trust me on this one..........

There are only two ways to cure a broken heart.

1...Get back with her.

or

2...Find another woman.


cave dweller

 

[Skweints]

Interesting story, I'm in a similar situation myself. I've been trying to get over this girl for a while now, and came pretty close not too long ago, but things keep going in a circle... she's afraid of losing me as a friend, yet, she doesn't want more than just friendship (even after leading me on and admitting to having a crush on me.) She's got issues, and doesn't want a boyfriend because she's afraid having a boyfriend will **** up her life (especially because of her past relationships.) But she has no self control and will develope crushes on people in a matter of days... but if they decide to take things a step further, she backs away.

I suffer pretty much from the same thing you do... everything seems to be going fine until you overhear someone talking about her or her talking about some ****. It's a natural feeling, and it'll go away when you meet someone new. For my situation, I think it's having a balance between me and her, and when she went crazy and threw things out of whack, I went into "desperation" mode to try to get things back in balance, only to cause more damage. Just try and keep your distance and get out there and meet some new chicks. One of my good buddies met this girl who wants to go out this weekend with 15 of her friends, so I think my changes of hooking up with one of them are pretty damn good. I know that'll help my ass out.

 

[FM 3321]

Re: heart

Originally posted by cave dweller
FM3321

Trust me on this one..........

There are only two ways to cure a broken heart.

1...Get back with her.

or

2...Find another woman.


cave dweller

Yeah, you're right. For now the ball is in her court. I tried to get back with her about 2 weeks ago by going out to dinner with her. She drove and she paid and I did my best to show her how much of a fun, ****y+funny, cool, flirty, laid back guy I was. Well I'm not sure what effect it had but it wasn't negative since she did enjoy her self.

So any attempt by me to get her back is only gonna make things worse. I haven't talked to her in more than a week now so option 2 is the best for me now.

To be honest I'm focusing on getting in shape, focusing on my school, making money and studying to improve my skills with women.

Before we actually dated there was a time where she kept telling me she was busy so I quit calling her for several weeks. I saw her on IM one night we talked and I and suggested we hang out and that's when we hit it off. I'm not sure if it will be different because we got physical when I talk to her again. Since she's my sisters best friend I'm bound to run into her again. So we'll see what happens. I just need to get away from her long enough to lose interest and like cave dweller said, meet another girl to really get her off my mind. I have female friends but I'm just not interested in them romantically. These girls like to talk to me about my problems and stuff since that's the relationship we've established while I get my ***** elsewhere.

Anyway, I have to focus on eliminating my insecurites like my gut. I've gotten fatter so I need to lose some damn weight. I know if I just keep focusing on this girl it's gonna bog me down mentally.

Also what Skweints said is true. You hear some crap about the girl and you start thinking about her again.

 

[myfriendblu]

Re: heart

Originally posted by cave dweller
FM3321

Trust me on this one..........

There are only two ways to cure a broken heart.

1...Get back with her.

or

2...Find another woman.


cave dweller

Im with you on #2.......ah man thats the ONLY way to move on is to find someone new...well maybe not the only, but its certainly the easiest way to move on....