Why do guys thinnks its a good idea to take a woman to a bar on the first date?

[mocha2010]

As a female I have to ask
Why do guys thinks its a good idea to take a woman to a bar on the first date? I can go to bars after the first or second date but this is a turn off to alot of women but many guys think this is okay.

To me as a female it says "I want nothing else but to get you drunk and sleep with you"

I have read many dating sites and this seems to be a suggested thing for guys to do. Decent nice women would not like this for a first or second date, even if you meet them at a bar.

I read one post where a guy invited a woman to a bar and wondered why she did not show up. Bars scream sleazy.

If you want cheap date ideas, take her to a museum or art gallery. Opinions???

 

[dandellion]

To me as a female it says "I want nothing else but to get you drunk and sleep with you"

Thats why, because I dont want to be your friend; I want to fvck you. And Im not gonna hide it.

 

[1ncredible]

Not necessarily about keeping it cheap, but a bar can provide a neutral setting/environment. Most people, in general go out for drinks at pubs/bars in their lives at some point - whether be it as a date or with friends.

Sometimes and more often than not, you have limited knowledge of what your date likes, so taking him/her to a museum may be some he or she is not interested in. There are lots of upmarket bars around so I can't see it being a problem, hell you can even drink non-alcoholic drinks.

 

[mocha2010]

Not necessarily about keeping it cheap, but a bar can provide a neutral setting/environment. Most people, in general go out for drinks at pubs/bars in their lives at some point - whether be it as a date or with friends.

Sometimes and more often than not, you have limited knowledge of what your date likes, so taking him/her to a museum may be some he or she is not interested in. There are lots of upmarket bars around so I can't see it being a problem, hell you can even drink non-alcoholic drinks.

I agree, I dont see a problem with an upscale lounge that has a bar in it or a relaxed restaurant. But just a plain old nieghborhood bar is sleazy to alot of women for a first date and not very impressive.

I ask this because alot of my female friends feel the same way and I notice that some guys think this is okay.

Its just not classy. I feel it has become generally accepted these days but many women just go along with the flow and dont really like it unless they are a "certain type of female"

 

[mocha2010]

Thats why, because I dont want to be your friend; I want to fvck you. And Im not gonna hide it.

LOL thanks for being honest because thats exactly what is signals to me if a guy takes me to a nieghborhood bar on the first date. I was trying to see if it could mean anything else.

I am a pretty social female who likes to enjoy life but even I would rather a dinner, movie, walk in the park, sporting event, or anything else than a bar on the first date. My opinion of the man would drop substantially.

 

[PokerStar]

i would. for a quick drink then onto something else i have planned.

 

[mocha2010]

i would. for a quick drink then onto something else i have planned.

Ok if a quick drink I can accept that unless the something else was back to your house/apartment then that would not be acceptable as a first date, at least for me.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I agree, I dont see a problem with an upscale lounge that has a bar in it or a relaxed restaurant. But just a plain old nieghborhood bar is sleazy to alot of women for a first date and not very impressive.

I ask this because alot of my female friends feel the same way and I notice that some guys think this is okay.

Its just not classy. I feel it has become generally accepted these days but many women just go along with the flow and dont really like it unless they are a "certain type of female"

I can see older women thinking this way, but if it's younger women (21-25).. Who cares? Most of us don't make a lot of money anyways, so why try and pretend by bringing them to some nice place you can't afford to go all the time? It's okay to go out to a nice place now and then when you have the money, and a relationship is established, but I'm not going to bring a 1st date to a ritzy lounge while I'm a broke college student on a ramen noodles diet lol. Maybe a nice coffee shop would be a good idea, but I hate coffee dates.

 

[mocha2010]

I think going to Starbucks for coffee is a better first date drink idea. Its quick and even cheaper but it conveys a better message to a female.

 

[dandellion]

I am a pretty social female who likes to enjoy life but even I would rather a dinner, movie, walk in the park, sporting event, or anything else than a bar on the first date. My opinion of the man would drop substantially.

Highlighted are the worst I can imagine for a first date.

Usually its only for an hour or two; its not an f-close on the first date unless we get along AMAZINGLY. And as PokerStar said; move onto something else I've planned after the meet & greet. I just think the bar sets up a decent vibe, and is very easy to eject from should the girl be... less then desirable!

 

[mocha2010]

I can see older women thinking this way, but if it's younger women (21-25).. Who cares? Most of us don't make a lot of money anyways, so why try and pretend by bringing them to some nice place you can't afford to go all the time? It's okay to go out to a nice place now and then when you have the money, and a relationship is established, but I'm not going to bring a 1st date to a ritzy lounge while I'm a broke college student. Maybe a nice coffee shop would be a good idea, but I hate coffee dates.

My friends are all ages of women 20's to 30's and we all hate bars for first dates. I think it has become so popular that women just "go along with it" But alot of us women hate it for first date because its not impressive. Nothing is wrong with going after the first few dates though.


Alot of men would be surprised with how many women would prefer a "walk in the park" to a bar.

 

[1ncredible]

My friends are all ages of women 20's to 30's and we all hate bars for first dates. I think it has become so popular that women just "go along with it" But alot of us women hate it for first date because its not impressive. Nothing is wrong with going after the first few dates though.


Alot of men would be surprised with how many women would prefer a "walk in the park" to a bar.

I once told my mate that I was thinking, of taking the girl I was seeing out at the time, that I wanted to take her for a walk. He responded saying"'she's not a fvcking dog mate"

Everyones' opinions are different.

 

[st_99]

its not impressive..

I think the fact that your focus is on the venue and not the person says a lot about you. I bet you're a terrible person to date and
would imagine you don't put out much. Thats not what guys are looking for, maybe desperate guys.

 

[Mike32ct]

I like bar and grill places. If either of us just wants a drink, fine. There is also the option of ordering some food or an appetizer. But I don't do formal restaurants for a first date because I don't want to spend a lot considering I might not see her again.

I agree that you shouldn't take her to the local watering hole. That shows zero class.

Starbucks is ok. I would be reluctant to take her to a museum because like another poster said, I don't know her interests that well yet.

 

[shizz702]

I think the fact that your focus is on the venue and not the person says a lot about you. I bet you're a terrible person to date and
would imagine you don't put out much. Thats not what guys are looking for, maybe desperate guys.

Haha well said!

Simple drinks or coffee make good for a first date cause it's cheap and as said easy to eject from if things don't go well.

Me personally I prefer a good action date, such as a theme park, miniature golf, a park, or something of the like, but that is only if I have a good initial vibe of the person prior to it. If I don't have much or any expectations and just want to feel her out then a few drinks or a coffee it is. I NEVER do dinner or a movie on a first date. Dinner puts too much pressure, and I don't dig sitting spaced up at a movie, I want to be sure we already have the comfort level of being cuddled up during it.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I think the fact that your focus is on the venue and not the person says a lot about you. I bet you're a terrible person to date and
would imagine you don't put out much. Thats not what guys are looking for, maybe desperate guys.

I agree that focusing on the venue says a lot about her (and her social circle from what she posted), but I wouldn't say it makes her a terrible person. Maybe she doesn't like to drink?

Regardless, just because you're in a bar environment doesn't mean you have to drink. One of my best friends doesn't drink and he still comes to the bar with us all the time just to hangout and shoot the sh1t.

I really don't get what has to be so "impressive" on a first date. I usually don't care where the hell I go on a first date. I just want it to be a place where I'm able to converse and get to know the girl I'm taking out better.

If this poster is looking to get "impressed" on a first date by how much her date is looking to spend, I'd say that reflects a pretty lame character. In fact, a few female friends have told me before that when a guy takes them out to a nice place, he's "trying to hard to get down their pants".

Women really need to focus less on the "is he trying to get down my pants?" question. Of course he is! He's taking you out and he finds you attractive. If you can't deal with the fact that a guy finds you attractive, then you probably have some inner emotional issues and should not date.

.. Or date "nice guys".

EDIT: In response to the "walk in the park" idea.. I usually prefer that over a bar anytime for a first date, but I think most women like to have a drink to ease the anxiety of a first date too.

 

[st_99]

I wouldn't say it makes her a terrible person.:

not a terrible person, she may be the next mother teresa, just terrible to date.. for me anyway.

 

[lordes]

not a terrible person, she may be the next mother teresa, just terrible to date.. for me anyway.

Guys can be sooo clueless sometimes. Here it is an actual GIRL/WOMAN teliing you what women like and you dont believe it.

The venue a man chooses, says ALOT about his personality and what he is looking for.

If you are looking for a girlfriend, wife and not just for sex. No you should not take a woman to a sleazy bar on the first date. No no No.

 

[lordes]

I agree that focusing on the venue says a lot about her (and her social circle from what she posted), but I wouldn't say it makes her a terrible person. Maybe she doesn't like to drink?

Regardless, just because you're in a bar environment doesn't mean you have to drink. One of my best friends doesn't drink and he still comes to the bar with us all the time just to hangout and shoot the sh1t.

I really don't get what has to be so "impressive" on a first date. I usually don't care where the hell I go on a first date. I just want it to be a place where I'm able to converse and get to know the girl I'm taking out better.

If this poster is looking to get "impressed" on a first date by how much her date is looking to spend, I'd say that reflects a pretty lame character. In fact, a few female friends have told me before that when a guy takes them out to a nice place, he's "trying to hard to get down their pants".

Women really need to focus less on the "is he trying to get down my pants?" question. Of course he is! He's taking you out and he finds you attractive. If you can't deal with the fact that a guy finds you attractive, then you probably have some inner emotional issues and should not date.

.. Or date "nice guys".

EDIT: In response to the "walk in the park" idea.. I usually prefer that over a bar anytime for a first date, but I think most women like to have a drink to ease the anxiety of a first date too.

The venue that a guy chooses tells you ALOT about his values and what he wants. Casual sex has become so acceptable that if a girl is not into drinking and sex on the first date then she is mother Teresa???

And you wonder why ALL of you men are posting on the internet and cannot get girlfriends or keep dates, because you are "clueless" about women.

 

[lordes]

Do you really want a girlfriend who finds it aceptable to , get drunk and sleep with many many men?? Or do you want a classy female. No classy female wants to be taken to a sleazy bar.

And walks in the park are free and spell "romance" You can talk to her under the moonlight or in the suns rays, hold hands etc. A bar does not spell romance.

I drink socially but every woman want to feel like a princess on a date and the venue helps