"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Why do guys pick on one another?

Nivek

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I guess this didn't use to be as much of a concern for me but after a couple recent events in my life I feel pretty low both mentally and physically so my self esteems been pretty low. But it seems everywhere I go I always get amoged, even by people I semi know as friends/aquaintences. Is this just how guys are, they always diss one another? and the only way to stop this is to either have high value, or hurt them in a way that they decide not to pick on you? Basically share your thoughts on amoging and why guys always have to belittle on another.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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ligyron

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You're just noticing this now? Me and my friends are always busting each other's balls, it's just what you do. What would you prefer? People telling you they love you everyday? Don't take it personally. We say some pretty mean things to each other, but it's all in good faith

Is this just how guys are, they always diss one another?
Have you been hanging around women your entire life or something?
 

Nivek

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guess i'm a biatch (lol). lil background on my family, my dads a complete tool (aka doesn't teach me how to be a man) so i hang around (absorb the stuff my mom tells me) aka get feminized. + i used to be picked on as a kid so i guess that makes me shy away from attacking others. but yeah i guess the only guys i'm close with are people that don't attack me. anyways thanks for the response guess its all in good faith.
 

KontrollerX

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This is how some guys are.

Some do it in good fun, others do it out of competitive nature by putting themselves up by putting you down.

I personally think its fvcking stupid and pointless either way.
 

comic_relief

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KontrollerX said:
This is how some guys are.

Some do it in good fun, others do it out of competitive nature by putting themselves up by putting you down.

I personally think its fvcking stupid and pointless either way.
I think it is just fun to bust each others balls. Thats how me and my friends are (even if my friend is 55+).

comic_relief
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Everlast2k

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it's always been that way. it depends what kind of dissin it is tho...if it's joking or meant to hurt you. if it's the last one, you can always get muscles or learn karate or something then no one will challenge you
 

Heart Break Kid

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Only my very good friends (6+ years) do this to me (And Quiksilver.) I find it a lot of fun though, allows me to indulge in my sarcastic nature and if I get burned good I'll usually compliment them. I appreciate wit.
 

Dongfu

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Martial arts masters are always rousting their students. It's meant to expedite your progress. True compassion is tough love. Just dont take crap from azzholes that dont know sh!t, or arent out for your best interest.

We just had a pretty good rousting section in my post. It finally resolved into a useful dialogue. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=131075
 

Belisarius

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The key is to not take it personally, and don't be afraid to dish some trash talking out yourself. Just don't do it in anger. It only sucks when you take it seriously. It's just how a lot of guys joke around with one another. Laugh it off and say something back. I wasn't used to trash talking myself, until I started working in a paint store. All the guys who worked there were very blue collar and were constantly dissing one another and myself. At first I almost got into a couple fights, but at some point I loosened up and was able to laugh at myself when somebody would crack a joke about me. Trash talk is something that definitely calls for a F*** it attitude. Don't get all emotionally wrapped up in it.
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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One of my friends constantly disses me but I just ignore him because his disses usually suck... anyway its all in the spirit of fun, it's like practicing negs on each other, as guys, and just for fun.
If a guy is purposefully being mean, don't listen to him because he's an a$$hole and has no value to you. Just ignore this guy and if he continues be like... "why are you still talking to me?" Basically, be cool about it and let it be fun, but if someone is seriously picking on you, make him fail by not letting his insults effect you.
You can fight back with disses if you're good enough, but if you don't think you can handle it, just go with ignoring it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Dongfu

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it's great training for negs and ****y funny - if you cant handle what your bro's say, how are you gonna deal with some of these hot head women.
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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omg I hate it when women neg... they usually suck at it and it's annoying...

im talking about something specific tho, like when it's the first thing they ever say to you haha it's usually like.. ok not wasting my time at all on this one..
 

Dongfu

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Grand Wizzard Alamar said:
.. ok not wasting my time at all on this one..
Dong Fu slap - Monkey punch - tiger kick da beeyatch
 

Grand Wizzard Alamar

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haha dude are you alright with that martial arts ranting?

it only happened to me like one time when I whacked some girl next to me with one of those foam noodles for swimming and she was like "get your little worm away from me"... I was thinking about hitting her in the mouth next but I just looked at her like "whatever" and went back to what I was doing :p
 

The Sperminator

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Thats just how guys are. We make fun of each other. We are just joking around. But there are times when guys are just *******s and just are like that. But when me and my friends make fun of each other we are just joking. All of my friends make fun of each other and nobody's feelings gets hurt bc the way we say it you know we are just joking. Like we call each other ugly, fat, losers, etc all the time. Our feelings aren't hurt because we know it's just a joke.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Grand Wizzard Alamar

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Girls also do it a lot among each other..
calling themselves sluts and b!tches etc.
 

danielzxc

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Is this just how guys are, they always diss one another? and the only way to stop this is to either have high value, or hurt them in a way that they decide not to pick on you?
The harsh truth is that yes, when people are at very different "values", those are pretty much the only ways.

I used to be a hardcore disser. Just like everyone else, I excused with it "I'm just having some with ya" or "that's just how guys are". But when I look back, there's really no doubt that if you peer behind the curtains, I was aware that I considered the guy I'm dissing as "beneath me" and I knew I could get away with it and that even if he made a "comeback" at me I knew I could just shrug it off because I was higher value. The only people who I didn't do this with, or who I held back on my disses with, are the people who I thought of as having much higher value than me, or with people who I knew would get angry and who could also kick my azzz.

Guys who I thought of as at the same level or only slighly higher value than me I would also target, but a lot of them had some pretty good comebacks, and I used to spend a lot of time and energy "competing" with guys like this without anyone ever getting really mad. So, if a group of friends are all roughly at the same level, give or take a bit, then this kind of thing can work without feelings getting hurt (too much).

But when one guy is way higher value than you, then the disses can really wound you.

Personally, I know plenty of people who I consider myself way higher value than. But I'm more mature and more compassionate now, so I don't put them down. Even when someone challenges me, I tend to take it easy on them and I don't hammer them completely; just enough for them to realize what's up and they can back down without being disgraced.
 

Dongfu

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Grand Wizzard Alamar said:
haha dude are you alright with that martial arts ranting?

it only happened to me like one time when I whacked some girl next to me with one of those foam noodles for swimming and she was like "get your little worm away from me"... I was thinking about hitting her in the mouth next but I just looked at her like "whatever" and went back to what I was doing :p
These are figures of expression, not about slapping women. ;)
 
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there are many people around, not just on this website, who are simply just narrow minded and feel so insecure that they have to come to a website devoted to helping others and instead of getting better themselves, they choose to argue about the lamest stuff.
 

zen511

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I think this is how guys show love for one another. Remember when you liked a chick in second grade, you might have punched her or made her cry by saying something mean. Well we kinda did the same thing with guys that we get along with real well. I do think alot of it is comic relief, but I also think part of it comes from our subconsious machismo, it is our way of expressing we actually like one another without feeling all "homo" as some might call it.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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