Why do girls marry AFC's?

[st_99]

If women are supposed to be repulsed by AFC behavior then why do I know of a few couples where the male spews out AFC traits. Is it because the females themeselves don't feel worthy of a DJ or at least semi DJ type?

 

[Jariel]

This is something I've been wondering myself for some time. When it comes to getting laid, I'm at the top of my game, but women just don't appear to see me as relationship material.

Case in point. A few months ago I met this HB8 and whenever we got together we had wild and animalistic sex. We got on really great too, had lots of fun dates and good chats, but she never wanted to be more than fvck buddies.

A couple of months later she told me it had to stop as she's met someone and it's getting serious. She changed her relationship status to "In a relationship" and her status updates have all been things like "I'm such a lucky girl" and "My new man makes me so happy". However, the worst part is she posted photos of flowers he had bought for her (and had delivered to her office) and even some expensive shoes he'd treated her to. She also posted a status about how her man was cleaning the house for her while she put her feet up and about how lucky she was.

While I was doing everything the DJ/Player way, appealing to her physical instincts, this other guy was doing the textbook AFC thing and doing everything we're warned against. And yet, he's the one who got the girl in the end.

 

[joverby]

I think Scars is on to something. He has been saying how all these DJ stuff just attracts the most damaged chicks. Or is perfect for FWB's. But when I think about it. People in the most "healthy" relationships are my mom & step dad, one of my buddies and his fiance.

My step dad is a major AFC. My buddy is pretty damn AFC. But he does naturally do DJ things. Like not wanting to be with her AFC a$$ all the time like she wants to.(Like I said she is a female AFC too though so that could be why)

I think there is just a fine balance, to be a "normal" person. You can't be super AFC and ALWAYS buy her flowers / sh1t. Or text/call her ALL the time. You need your own social life / friends.

Balancing act. I think most of us are just so scared of being AFC we don't do things that chicks really do like and appreciate.(IN MODERATION!)

 

[CasanovaFrankenstein]

I think the prevailing school of thought on that in the community is that she marries the AFC for security (he'll be a provider, father for her kids, etc) and she'll most likely have a fvck buddy on the side. The way I understand it Jariel, if hubby doesn't make her earn that kind of treatment she'll start to take him for granted. She may stay with him for the security and just cheat on him. Sounds like your ex fvck buddy might have just found herself a nice chump to use. Who knows, you might be the guy she wants to cheat with!

 

[st_99]

"My new man makes me so happy"..

Thats probably women speak for "I really WISH my new man made me happy, I'm really TRYING to be happy but...."


But yeah, I just don't get it.

 

[zekko]

Think about all the fake, idiotic, obnoxious stuff they tell you to do around here. And then you wonder why they don't want to stay with a PUA type?
Do you really need an explanation?

 

[joverby]

I think the prevailing school of thought on that in the community is that she marries the AFC for security (he'll be a provider, father for her kids, etc) and she'll most likely have a fvck buddy on the side. The way I understand it Jariel, if hubby doesn't make her earn that kind of treatment she'll start to take him for granted. She may stay with him for the security and just cheat on him. Sounds like your ex fvck buddy might have just found herself a nice chump to use. Who knows, you might be the guy she wants to cheat with!

I think it's a bad mindset your in. To think that any girl that finds some guy she wants to be with will automatically cheat on him because he does nice sh1t for her.

Did you not read it. She had to turn him down / push him away BECAUSE the guy came into the picture and she was fully satisfied with him.

 

[Mr Wright]

Because they're safe. Dont underestimate a womans emotions, she will pretty much do anything to protect them. If its means marrying a guy who wont run off with a younger model in 3 years, then so be it.

 

[TopGun2000]

i dont think you can be DJ all the time, if you want LTR. maybe show your AFC side a bit sometimes

so the balance/mix is the key. it's harder to do than just being a straightforward DJ.

 

[Aaron B]

one reason is because there aren't enough real men to go around and women have a strong desire to get married

Women have a completely different thought process than we do and when we project our idea and our thought process onto their action it seems confusing. I start with the notion that what she has done makes sense to her on at least some level and try to backwards-engineer it from there.

and for the record, I always had relationships when I was a young AFC. I even had the upper hand early on when the girls were young and I had a strong bad boy image. I did the typical AFC stuff of taking her to dinner, buying her flowers, telling her I loved her etc. By the time I married my first wife I had gone from being in control of the relationship for the first year or so to her having the power and running the show. In my experience, the only thing worse than being an AFC who can't get girls is being an AFC who can get girls but allows them to run his life.

 

[joverby]

one reason is because there aren't enough real men to go around and women have a strong desire to get married

Women have a completely different thought process than we do and when we project our idea and our thought process onto their action it seems confusing. I start with the notion that what she has done makes sense to her on at least some level and try to backwards-engineer it from there.

and for the record, I always had relationships when I was a young AFC. I even had the upper hand early on when the girls were young and I had a strong bad boy image. I did the typical AFC stuff of taking her to dinner, buying her flowers, telling her I loved her etc. By the time I married my first wife I had gone from being in control of the relationship for the first year or so to her having the power and running the show. In my experience, the only thing worse than being an AFC who can't get girls is being an AFC who can get girls but allows them to run his life.

I think that's the type of F'd up attitude that is preventing people from getting anything more than a one night stand. I think in any healthy relationship you should be able to tell "her" you love "her."

That seems really messed up to me to consider that AFC. I believe you could get AFC with it by saying it ALL the time or using it to fill voids in silence. My EX initiated the "I love you" way more than I did, but I still said it first sometimes.

 

[Aaron B]

I think that's the type of F'd up attitude that is preventing people from getting anything more than a one night stand. I think in any healthy relationship you should be able to tell "her" you love "her."

That seems really messed up to me to consider that AFC. I believe you could get AFC with it by saying it ALL the time or using it to fill voids in silence. My EX initiated the "I love you" way more than I did, but I still said it first sometimes.

My apologies, I should have been more specific.

I was telling girls I loved them because I thought it was what they wanted to hear, not because I actually loved them.

So many people say they want honestly in a relationship, but when I was 20 years old and had been seeing a girl for 2 weeks and she tells me she loves me, shouldn't I be honest and not say it back unless I mean it?

But I would give in to the pressure or I would say it first if I thought it was what she wanted to hear.

I've been with my wife for 6 years and I do tell her I love her. But I tell her on my terms, not on "forced" terms or out of obligation.

If you say it all the time its not going to special any more.

 

[f283000]

First of all the premise of this thread is wrong. It somehow makes it seem as if women marrying afc's makes being a dj somehow bad. It also assumes that marriage is good and that is debatable. Has it ever crossed your mind that some dj's just don't want to be married? Has it crossed your mind that these same women that marry afc's already banged dozens of jerks/bad boys/jocks when these women were young and hot, and when they finally are ready to settle down/getting older and uglier then they look for afcs?

Women marry afc's because their biological clock is ticking and they are under pressure to settle down with a guy that they can control. Women have a super fear of loneliness and their fertility only lasts a limited time.

Women want a guy that's stable and can settle down with which is not a DJ who is out to have fun, adventure and live life to the fullest. Women at this state are already past banging jerk after jerk in their younger years. The same women who marry afc's wouldn't even give an afc a hand when they were in their prime of their beauty. Now that they're getting old and their biological clock is ticking they are in a hurry to marry some poor afc.

The afc is more than happy to be getting the sloppy seconds or in most cases sloppy dozens or whatever many guys these broads have already banged by the time they decide it's time to settle down.

 

[Vice]

First of all the premise of this thread is wrong. It somehow makes it seem as if women marrying afc's makes being a dj somehow bad. It also assumes that marriage is good and that is debatable. Has it ever crossed your mind that some dj's just don't want to be married? Has it crossed your mind that these same women that marry afc's already banged dozens of jerks/bad boys/jocks when these women were young and hot, and when they finally are ready to settle down/getting older and uglier then they look for afcs?

Women marry afc's because their biological clock is ticking and they are under pressure to settle down with a guy that they can control. Women have a super fear of loneliness and their fertility only lasts a limited time.

Women want a guy that's stable and can settle down with which is not a DJ who is out to have fun, adventure and live life to the fullest. Women at this state are already past banging jerk after jerk in their younger years. The same women who marry afc's wouldn't even give an afc a hand when they were in their prime of their beauty. Now that they're getting old and their biological clock is ticking they are in a hurry to marry some poor afc.

The afc is more than happy to be getting the sloppy seconds or in most cases sloppy dozens or whatever many guys these broads have already banged by the time they decide it's time to settle down.

This.

He got to it first.

 

[st_99]

So women want to marry guys they can control? There is probably some truth to that but ultimately that doesn't sound like it would be their idea of a fairy tale relationship. Maybe they are realistic and give up on the idea of being with the DJ who "loves" only her.

 

[Jariel]

Women marry afc's because their biological clock is ticking and they are under pressure to settle down with a guy that they can control. Women have a super fear of loneliness and their fertility only lasts a limited time.

Women want a guy that's stable and can settle down with which is not a DJ who is out to have fun, adventure and live life to the fullest. Women at this state are already past banging jerk after jerk in their younger years. The same women who marry afc's wouldn't even give an afc a hand when they were in their prime of their beauty.

Great points and I think there's a lot of truth to this.

I've heard a lot of women in their late 20s talk about the appeal of older guys who have got their lives together. It's not that they're wealthy, more the fact that they're stable...and, I assume, less work. As a matter of fact, I know quite a lot of women who were wild and rebellious in their early 20s, banged a lot of bad boys (including me ), but then settled down with a 40+ year old in their late 20s/early 30s and surprised everyone by getting married and having kids.

The fvck buddy I mentioned earlier is approaching her mid 30s now, has her career together, own place and is probably at that stage where she's ready to settle down. Whereas I'm recovering from bankruptcy and going back to uni as a mature student next year.

Although I would've liked to be in a relationship with her, I would rather be the guy she wants to fvck her like an animal, pull her hair and cvm on her t!ts, than the guy who does her housework for her and buys her flowers. According to her latest status he's just bought her some new chairs for the kitchen too.

 

[Jariel]

Now I think about my last relationship, I was a much sweeter and stable kind of guy. I didn't buy her excessive gifts, but I did buy a few or would sit and watch Disney with her, helped redecorate her bedroom and take her for meals. The sex was boring and there wasn't all that much in it for me to be honest. The reason she left me was because I went bankrupt and was refusing to marry her and have kids. That speaks volumes.

 

[Aaron B]

So women want to marry guys they can control? There is probably some truth to that but ultimately that doesn't sound like it would be their idea of a fairy tale relationship. Maybe they are realistic and give up on the idea of being with the DJ who "loves" only her.

its not an either/or

she can still get with the bad boys on the side

I think we do ourselves a disservice when we try to process information through a black-or-white, either-or filter

It can be both at the same time, or a combination of other situations as well

 

[Zodiac]

First of all the premise of this thread is wrong. It somehow makes it seem as if women marrying afc's makes being a dj somehow bad. It also assumes that marriage is good and that is debatable. Has it ever crossed your mind that some dj's just don't want to be married? Has it crossed your mind that these same women that marry afc's already banged dozens of jerks/bad boys/jocks when these women were young and hot, and when they finally are ready to settle down/getting older and uglier then they look for afcs?

Women marry afc's because their biological clock is ticking and they are under pressure to settle down with a guy that they can control. Women have a super fear of loneliness and their fertility only lasts a limited time.

Women want a guy that's stable and can settle down with which is not a DJ who is out to have fun, adventure and live life to the fullest. Women at this state are already past banging jerk after jerk in their younger years. The same women who marry afc's wouldn't even give an afc a hand when they were in their prime of their beauty. Now that they're getting old and their biological clock is ticking they are in a hurry to marry some poor afc.

The afc is more than happy to be getting the sloppy seconds or in most cases sloppy dozens or whatever many guys these broads have already banged by the time they decide it's time to settle down.

This sounds a lot like Tom Leykis man. So very true.

 

[f283000]

Although I would've liked to be in a relationship with her, I would rather be the guy she wants to fvck her like an animal, pull her hair and cvm on her t!ts, than the guy who does her housework for her and buys her flowers.

It's a big great cycle in a way when you think about it:

Most of us in this forum are recovering nice guys. We came here because we wanted the life of the alphas, the bad boys and i'm not necessarily saying we wanted to be them we just wanted what they get naturally (women). We wanted to enjoy women, have as much sex as possible with as many hot young women (and milfs) as we can and have the time of our lives while we could.

So while we work on improving ourselves to achieve that lifestyle there's the guys that we used to be like (afcs) who will never achieve this and will end up getting our sloppy seconds. They are the guys who will be happy to marry used goods which are the women we banged while they were in their prime.

but then you realize..you know if I had never learned about the pua community I could be that afc that gets the sloppy seconds from a woman who banged her way through college and has a collection of bad boys/dj's under her belt.