Why do girls keep old stuff from previous boyfriends?

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

I keep hearing it all the time. And I've seen many girls do it. From photos, teddy bears, clothes and other gifts.

Some girls excuses? Oh they would want to have a look at them when they are 80yrs old or showing their grandkids. They would want to reminisce about the good old times when they are down. Lol by today's standards and average number of sex partners they would need a couple of shipping containers to fill.

I don't like it at all. Do you guys all agree with me here? I don't keep old flames things. As much as I would like to look at all of them, saying "IM THE MAN" it is old baggage and I have to remind myself that it ended and so does the memories. It will hold you back and get you stuck in that oneitis rut.

Also it doesn't make me feel free at all when keeping old stuff. And when I am in a relationship it feels that I am holding back from loving and the only way to loving is to wholly and unconditionally love, it is the best feeling when you are 100% into you woman (providing it is a loving, healthy LTR).

So what are your opinions and say on this? What if you find your gf holding on to old stuff? What can you say to a partner who happens to hold on to old stuff before it gets messy?

 

[DJ1234]

I would also like to know why women do this also...

My only guess is that women like to be reminded of the "good" memories or times they had with their bf's, and kind of like girls who get phone numbers for a trophy collection. I know alot of girls that once the relationship ends on a bad note they will trash everything that reminded them of their previous bf also. Most of my previous ex-gf's hold onto photos (since I never really gave gifts) of us, like in a photo album collection...eh

 

[penkitten]

let me see if i can feel you through this one. all humans collect something.
it is something about making our lives meaningful to be surrounded by stuff that we can say defines us or helps to tell our story. it makes us feel comfortable to gather items of likeness and stick them together and call them our things. we can't wait to buy a place to live to put all that stuff in.

now, let's say you collect dvds or baseball cards or old 8 track tapes or comic books .
does it matter where each item came from? if a gal gave you a really good baseball card , would you discard it if she broke up with you?
nah, you keep the silly card and you eventually forget how you got it, just that you have it.

so keeping with that mind frame, imagine being a chick for a second. where emotions and attachments to personal items are very high stakes. then imagine those collections where or sillier value for instance, snow globes, teddy bears and shoes and pillows. or magnets, picture frames, candles and perfume. (((everyone has that crazy grandma or aunt that collects the magnets on the fridge and i know you just thought of her)))
are we to throw out shoes when you leave us? throw away mr snuggles the bear because you needed some me time? what did mr snuggles do wrong and why should he be thrown into the dumpster?

there was a time when i collected flannel shirts and marriage proposals. just because i threw out the proposals didnt mean i threw out those shirts.

 

[tsmith2334]

it pisses me off too, but in fairness i have a couple pictures laying around my room of the attractive girls i took to dances in high school

though the girls are long gone, i still like the memories

 

[KontrollerX]

Yeah I'm with you that they should get rid of that sh!t if they're in a new relationship with a new guy.

The only time I'd let through an exception is if the guy died on the chick.

 

[Evolution]

Actually, one of my girl friends when her ex broke up with her.

The advice she got was to put all the pictures, stuff, into a box. And put it away in the garage or something.

 

[Gustav Yavo]

mmm, i had a girl throw all the **** ive ever bought her out her front door after we just broke up and i was leaving. Crazy b*tch that one tho.

 

[Lord Shinra]

mmm, i had a girl throw all the **** ive ever bought her out her front door after we just broke up and i was leaving. Crazy b*tch that one tho.

:woo:
HELL YEAH!

 

[aliasguy]

Women DO this. Who knows why?

Women get p*ssed at men if they find anything relating to other women. God forbid they come across an old greeting card or something. Meanwhile, they keep a box of old sh*t from old boyfriends. I don't care about that, but the "double standard" is maddening. My ex tried to make me get rid of a COUCH, because she felt that I had f*cked other women on it. (I had, but WTF?????)

It's just another thing. I ignore it all. Whatever.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

let me see if i can feel you through this one. all humans collect something. ...

Oh c'mon Pen, you sidestepped that one and you know it! Baseball cards have a different meaning than a photo of you and your ex at Disneyland on your second anniversary.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Women DO this. Who knows why?.

Trophy?

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Women DO this. Who knows why?

Women get p*ssed at men if they find anything relating to other women. God forbid they come across an old greeting card or something. Meanwhile, they keep a box of old sh*t from old boyfriends. I don't care about that, but the "double standard" is maddening. My ex tried to make me get rid of a COUCH, because she felt that I had f*cked other women on it. (I had, but WTF?????)

It's just another thing. I ignore it all. Whatever.

I feel you on this one.

Oh c'mon Pen, you sidestepped that one and you know it! Baseball cards have a different meaning than a photo of you and your ex at Disneyland on your second anniversary.

Have to agree with this too. But, I can kind of understand where she is going. Either way I don't really approve of girls doing that.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I have **** my ex gave me.... you guys just need to figure out how to get more stuff from your girls. I have bears, necklaces, food (old candy), mugs, board games, Rocks (like minerals) and this christmas I got a box of cookie crisp.

I still have all my stuff.

You see that's the difference, it's your stuff and is completely usable and indistinguishable as being from a prior relationship (the bear is questionable though). I have some nice stuff from past relationships that I call my "spoils of war" but in no way do I tell my current exploits where they came from.

 

[Master Bates]

I don't see what the problem is, unless she's got pictures of old boyfriends on her nightstand or she wears her exes' t-shirts and stuff.

 

[MooseGod]

You guys have some serious jealousy issues...god forbid people keep mementos of old times. Get over it.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Can somebody send me the link to MooseGod's gf's old private party video on YouTube again?

 

[penkitten]

Oh c'mon Pen, you sidestepped that one and you know it! Baseball cards have a different meaning than a photo of you and your ex at Disneyland on your second anniversary.

hey, i got zero pictures of disneyland because i have never been.
but the value you may place on some baseball cards can be equal to the value i place on a nice pair of slippers someone gave me.
the value of items is up to the owner, right?

 

[penkitten]

I have some nice stuff from past relationships that I call my "spoils of war" but in no way do I call tell my current exploits where they came from.

and this concludes the lesson of the day.

 

[The Forms]

People like reminders of good times from their lives. Why do you keep old pictures of you and buddies from high school you never talk to? Because it reminds you of some time in your life that was happy.

I still have the letter an ex wrote me when I broke up with her, and all sorts of other little things she gave me over the course of the relationship. Another girl I used do date is an investigative reporter, and I still have her old clippings from stories she wrote while we were together (she would talk about the stories she was investigating a lot, so when they hit the newsstands I was obviously really interested in reading them). That doesn't mean that I want to date either of those girls again. It just means that sometimes it's nice to remember good times.

It's not a slap in your face. Quit being insecure.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I live in the now. I'm not one for memories of past relationships but the stuff looks damn good in my house. So with that I find happiness with women in the present while sitting around the cool stuff from the past!