why do ex girlfriends don't leave you alone ?

[Ser_i]

girls are messed up! what the f8ck is wrong with them ? can any of the female members tell me ?!

tonight.. my ex girlfriend she's totaly nutts ... SHE LOST IT!! whtat the fuc K is wrong with her ? I mean she keeps sending her girlfriends to me, telling me not to bother her anymore cause I'm "hurting her" I haven't ****ign spoken to her in 3 months... can anyone explain this to me ?


I HAVE LEFT HER ALONE!! for months, the only time I sent a (sms) message to a girlfriend of my ex was 3 weeks ago.. after she requested to be added on MSN 3 weeks ago under a "new account"(she had made a false emial accout) just to get a reaction from me,, and she did. I told her to not bother me cause I'm in a serious relationship. the first one after I broke up with her, I've had some minor "hormone rushed feelings" in between, but other than that I have made no attempt to get into contact with her or let her know of what I'm doing.. and YET STILL! she once again knows how to get to me, she sents yet another girlfriend of hers to me, requesting of me not to bother her cause I'm supposedly hurting her feeligns.... I HAVEN"T SPOKEN TO HER IN MONTHS?!!! WHAT IS WRONG HERE ?!!


I'm realy starting to feel realy sorry I have ever met her, if she does not have the courage to come up to me in person and talk this out then there is no need for me to have any kind of respect towards her. She knows I still care about her, 'but she knows aswell that I don't need her to be happy or need her to feel complete.. I'm a selfish arrogant bastard. SO WHY THE F$CK ?! am I still getting bothered by her girlfriends who suposedly walk up to me by themselves not having had any 'directives or objectives by her.... F$CK HER!! i'm realy getting mad.. cause my current girlfriend got realy upset again and I had to explain the entire deal to her again, while I'm p[issed! and explaining things while you're pissed is not easy :S


I HATE EX girlfriends! I loved her, I SCREWED IT UP! why can't she accept that.. ? that it's my fault things didn't work out. and she is not willing to give me a nother chance.. so why the **** does she insist on trying to ruing the current relationship I;'m in ?! WHY ? :'(

I don't like this cause she knows how to get to me. and I MISS the feeling of sleeping against her body but I WILL NOT allow myself to have any kind of friendly relationship with her. I can't do it. the feeling of regret is to deep inside of my hart.


is she never gonna leave me alone ? am I never gonna find any peace ? will I never be allowed to try it all over again with someone else who doesn't give me the drama?

what options do I have ? how can I get ridd of this? my current girlfriend is in bed now.. and she hasn't stopped crying since the moment that girlfriend of my ex walked up to me and wanted to talk with me about my ex.

I am realy starting to think that moving to another town is the only option left.. I'm 21 still in Uni so I'm rather tied up.. WHY ? can anyone shed some light on this ?


from a Don Juan who knows what to do except when in serious relationships :'(

 

[penkitten]

since i do not know this person i am going to try to take a stab at this one.

from what you have written she sounds young and she sounds as if she is trying to play games because she would love for you to pine after her and chase her even tho there was a break up.

perhaps she doesnt realise that she has issues that cause her to feel this way. this insecurity and need to be chased to feel good.

you can not fix her so i would try to have as little contact as possible.

one day she will move on when she sets her sights on someone else and you will be rid of the problems.

perhaps knowing this makes you feel better that if you had not had the break up you would not know this about her.

she will grow up in her own time.

watch for those same charcterists in future relationships, these will be unstable.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Four words: She's loony-f*ckin' toons.

("Loony-f*ckin'" is hyphenated. Maybe that makes it three words. Whatever.)

Two more words: Restraining order.

 

[penkitten]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
Four words: She's loony-f*ckin' toons.

("Loony-f*ckin'" is hyphenated. Maybe that makes it three words. Whatever.)

Two more words: Restraining order.

casonova , wouldnt she have to actually be stalking him or verbally threatening harm before a restraining order can be placed?

however you can threaten one

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by penkitten
casonova , wouldnt she have to actually be stalking him or verbally threatening harm before a restraining order can be placed?

however you can threaten one

Yeah, he has no real cause for a restraining order (I was making a funny), but if he informs the people involved in this to cease and desist and they don't, he may have a case for harassment.

 

[Starman]

Seri,

a Few things..Why is she still getting to you? you have a nice girl waiting in your bed..yet you are haunted by this girl who wont let you live your own life and part away

accept these facts

#1 WOMEN are just whack jobs! THEY ARE CRAZY!!! Especially yours..

#2 Your GUILT (I messed up!! SO what!!) wont let you live past this..and she is cunningly using this guilt to constantly haunt you

GET ANGRY! thats great!

if you have to make peace with her and give her some closure..by closure I mean confront her..say "Im sorry about what went wrong with our relationship and if I ever did anything to make you feel Bad, I truly feel BAD for doing it..Im trying to improve myself, but your constant reminders to make me feel bad are not helping. Please, lets just try to learn from our mistakes/experiences and try to go on with our lives"

you would not believe how IMPORTANT closure is in these cases..that Means you must be READY to close this chapter in your life, and let her know too.

some people just dont know when a relationship is OVER and DEAD unless you BLATANTLY tell them..its kinda like a denial thing..that needs to be brought to the Table.

but based on your emotionality in this thread, I would say you arent quite 100% over her yourself..you need to step up and realize when ENOUGH is ENOUGH!

peace

 

[TesuqueRed]

He's Dutch, I don't know that they have TROs and the like over there or how they handle it. Also, she's using a rotating set of friends--which is a moving target and kinda nebulous.

Anyway, Seri---you're frustrated, angry, upset, etc. She got to you, which is what she wanted (um, that may not translate in Dutch, even though your English is excellent...--she wanted to provoke a sharp reaction in you and succeeded--she got to you.)

The only thing I can recommend is to give no energy to her and her friends. They're baiting you, refuse to be baited. You'll have to learn how to calm down and simply not let them get started with you.

Not easy to do--a suggestion:

Refuse to discuss anything with them. Keep this instruction simple and basic: you do not explain yourself to them, you do not argue, you do answer any of their questions, you do not listen to them.

You tell them one thing: "This isn't any of your business, I can't discuss anything with you."

They will approach and make great efforts to be friendly and appear that it is reasonable. The "Mr. Polite and Reasonable" inside you has no business here now. You will probably have to practice saying it ahead of time. Say it a straightforward business tone (no-nonsense tone) and then turn and walk away.

They try again: repeat.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Oh--I ignored you're original question: why do they do this?

She has emotional problems.

I'm sure we can dig deeper into it, but--IMHO--"why" is nice to know, but you really don't need it. Focusing on "why" will be just a bunch of wheel-spinning for you--ah, in other words--that would be excessive and unproductive emotional thinking that accomplishes nothing and simply misdirects you away from anything productive and helpful...

Very simply: she can't let go, she has emotional issues that you can't solve and have no responsibility for solving. In fact, from your original post, you've already accepted your responsibility, learned from it and moved on in a healthy manner.

As above, I would just recommend that the only useful thing (to my mind, other DJs will have other good ideas) is ACTION--and my suggestion for that is you will have to learn to preempt and cut off any attempts she and her friends have in contacting and engaging with you.

And just from that line about your current GF crying over this (possible an excessive reaction, but we don't know any of the specifics here..) I suspect she might have some issues, too.

 

[Ser_i]

the reason why my current girlfriend was crying is I met her when I was allready 6 months in a relationship with this ex. and she knew her and her girlfriends aswell.. not very good but she knew them and talked to them occasionaly.

since I broke up with the ex. She has like supported me a lot even though I know for sure there were no romantic feelings involved from her part. and she is one of those victims of my ex girl and her girlfriend group... they don't talk to her anymore and look at her as if she is a tramp.

I just only recently hooked up with her, it's about a week or 6 that I'm with her. it just happend out of the blue, we just felt realy good being with each other. and I warned her that this what is happening currently was a possability if we both would agree to Do it. (there is no try) and it's just gotten to her, cause she gets confronted with them girls on a good number of occasions (especialy cause her mother is a very good friend of my ex girls mother)

I've just give up to understand. I'm enjoying my time with my current girl even though we just agreed to just do our own thing for some time now and we'll see each other when we have the time for it.

you know the weird thing still is, I'm doing rather well at the moment I can talk about her without getting emotional and all keeping everything under control, but when I see her in town. I get this weird feeling, it's not nervousness or weakness or big strength... but I feel regret.. cause I haven't seen her smile for ages. and even though it shouldn't bother me, my AFC side feels sorry for having messed up her life, she is afraid to have relationships, she keeps guys at a very huge distance on the aspect of "getting to know someone" but that's the AFC side..

my DJ style, just looks at her with a devious smile letting her think of what i'm thinking. and to be honoust, what I'm thinking at those moments is.. "if I want to, I can take you from your man, and all your little girlfriends too" but then I get distracted by this amazing blond "I'm about to meet" (yes even though I got me own girl)

lol I could go on like this for ages.. she ain't worth it.

"No se lo que decirte, Ángel de mis sueños. No te olvidare, Pasaré con o sin usted"