Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Why did she flake?

Sir Shinra

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I met a HB8 at a bar a couple weeks ago. She seemed really into me and was sending signals out the yin-yang, so I left with her number. On Thursday I called her to set up a meeting for Sunday evening, and she agreed (though she didn't sound that thrilled).

Last night me and my buddy go to the same bar, and, to my surprise she was there. She greeted me with a big hug and kept sending the same signals (big eyes, smiling, laughing, playful hitting, etc.) as last time. So, I repeated what I did before... just teased her off and on throughout the night. I sat with my friends, talked to other people in the bar, played darts with other girls. I didn't hang onto her the whole night, and even had her bring me drinks from the bar (she's in good with the bartenders). Around 5AM my buddy wants to leave, so I hug her goodbye and go with him.

You'd think since I was obviously the one in control of the interaction, and from the signals she was sending, that she'd be eager to meet today. Instead, I get a text from her this morning saying she is "tired."

What happened? Should I have tried to take her home that night? Should I have left the bar immediately after seeing her? I kind of had a feeling she would flake. Women in Asia are really good at it.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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verysuave

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Sir Shinra said:
So I guess I should have talked to her more or made a move or something...
maybe she's not into the whole Anime/ RPG dude thing. How are you in looks?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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CyranoDeBergerac

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Sir Shinra said:
Last night me and my buddy go to the same bar, and, to my surprise she was there. ...Around 5AM my buddy wants to leave, so I hug her goodbye and go with him.

You'd think since I was obviously the one in control of the interaction, and from the signals she was sending, that she'd be eager to meet today. Instead, I get a text from her this morning saying she is "tired."
[Sarcasm] I wonder, because you know, after a long night of heavy drinking, I always feel fit as a fiddle the next day.[/Sarcasm]

You obviously like her, so you want her to be available even when she may not be. Since not every situation will dispose of itself the way you want it to, don't take it as a personal affront when it doesn't.

Have a plan, then adjust fire when it goes awry. That's all you can do.
 

Daddy The Pimp

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You didn't show that intent , that sexual animalistic energy that women love it so bad. Instead , you was ****y+funny guy who teased her maybe with two or three lines , and found more enjoying to play dart than to convince her to come home with you.

Im saying this from experience. I was the guy that called many girls at the club , and acted " i don't give a fvck about you because i have other girls and my friends waiting for me " , and jumped from set to set without giving a fvck. But if you really want to get her in solid way , you should really WANT to get her home that night and express it through vibe (thing that cannot be faked). Ill write a big post about this in a few days. Tim explains it very well in flawless natural.
 

WC2

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Daddy The Pimp said:
You didn't show that intent , that sexual animalistic energy that women love it so bad. Instead , you was ****y+funny guy who teased her maybe with two or three lines , and found more enjoying to play dart than to convince her to come home with you.

Im saying this from experience. I was the guy that called many girls at the club , and acted " i don't give a fvck about you because i have other girls and my friends waiting for me " , and jumped from set to set without giving a fvck. But if you really want to get her in solid way , you should really WANT to get her home that night and express it through vibe (thing that cannot be faked). Ill write a big post about this in a few days. Tim explains it very well in flawless natural.
Right on.

Don't expect to bring home women unless you're going to let them know why they should go back with you.

Women don't 'magically' ask men to hang out because they have been teased all night. They need a little push from you, the man, as to why they would have a good time with you.
 

Sir Shinra

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Ouch.

Thanks for the wakeup call, guys.

(Verysuave, to answer your question: I got out of anime/RPG when I was in high school. My looks are average, though I do often have people telling me how "handsome" I am, that just comes from being a foreigner where I live.

To be more specific, I am tall, 6'1", kind of on the skinny side. I have kind of a squared-off jaw and forehead. Some tell me I have a "strong face." Others have made comparisons to movie monsters (Frankenstein, Lurch, etc.) I think if I wear my hair a certain way, the movie monster thing doesn't come up.)
 
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