Why did my parents, especially my mom raise me to be a nice guy when that leads to failure with women?

[Josh Davidson]

?

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Because your parents didnt care about your success in life / with women.

Your mother most likely raised you to comfort HER needs and gave shiat about what you really needed and wanted.
Your father most likely was a bluepilled beta and didnt know what a son needs to learn from his father.

I was there....... not getting much love from my parents to start with, i put all my needs 2nd place just to get that little love from my mother that she was able to give. If i didnt comply, no love.

 

[Josh Davidson]

I think you're right. My dad is definitely a bluepilled beta.

 

[Machine10033]

No one knows... but ultimately you will write your own script. My parents were the opposite... raised me to be an aggressive ahole. I had detention almost every day of my 7th and 8th grade years.. got into fights... and sh&t on anyone I didn’t like. Got to high school and with hormones it accelerated! Started dating a girl and fell hard.... she actually pushed me to become a “nice guy” so I changed from my junior year until sophomore year in college when she told me she couldn’t stand who I became and cheated on me..... so I was raised one way... lived that way.... then changed for a girl and she hated the nice guy she molded me into.

I found this site... and balanced myself out. I am not a raging ahole anymore but I do not compromise my true self for anyone. I have zero tolerance for bs and live my life for myself. The irony is after I rebuilt myself I ran into that ex.... we talked at a bar and caught up. She sent me an email saying how wrong she was and can’t believe the man I became. She wanted to get back together. And every few years still emails me seeing where I am in life. So... your mom may have raised you to be a beta.. nice guy but you can reprogram yourself anytime you like.

 

[SW15]

Being a beta male wasn't as a bad of thing in the Boomer generation (@Josh Davidson's parents generation). A lot of Boomer beta males married and had longer term marriages last as they were intended to last, as least compared to subsequent generations. I also think a Boomer beta is more masculine than a Millennial beta.

Boomer females had a greater appreciation for beta provider males than Millennial females. Boomer females were less likely to grow up with the notion of the career woman who supports herself. That wasn't much of a thing for the children whose formative years were in the 1950s and 1960s. By the time Millennial women were children in the 1990s, it was expected that women supported themselves, so a provider beta male was as exciting to a Millennial woman as milquetoast. Since Millennial women were conditioned to be self-reliant, they want a guy for excitement rather than his provider abilities in a lot of cases. If a Millennial woman has a BA/BS degree or higher, she has little need for a beta male to provide. Lower educated, lower wage females don't need a beta male with government assistance readily available, though a provider male is a little bit better than being on government assistance. Since I am educated, almost all my interactions have been with Millennial women with at least a BA/BS degree. When a woman takes care of her own financial needs, her primary needs are sex and emotional excitement until she has kids. I don't want to extend this point since dating single moms should be avoided.

Women raise their sons to their ideal, not to what they actually respond to. A lot of fathers do not teach their sons about meeting women and relationships. Many fathers are absentee. A lot of the fathers from the Boomer generation who were able to achieve long term romantic relationships with the mothers of their Millennial children were beta males. A Boomer beta male isn't going to be able to teach his Millennial son how to pick up Millennial women.

My father was absentee. I have 2 male cousins from my mom's side. 1 is late Gen X and 1 early Millennial. My Boomer uncle had a successful long term relationship with his wife. Both my male cousins have divorces to their name. While they had a caring, present father who was involved in their life, he was not at all equipped to teach them a lot about the current dating environment since he got married to someone he started dating in high school. My cousins both expected their marriages to work because the example they had was of an older style, "Leave It to Beaver" type nuclear family. That was blue pill to the core. The late Gen X cousin is now on his 2nd marriage.

 

[bat soup]

?

Parents generally don't have bad intentions, but they don't necesarily know the best way to raise a child. They'll tend to repeat patterns of behaviour that they learnt from their parents. At a certain age, anyway, you have to stop relying on your parents and learn for yourself.

 

[Tsar Nickolas]

Being a beta male wasn't as a bad of thing in the Boomer generation (@Josh Davidson's parents generation). A lot of Boomer beta males married and had longer term marriages last as they were intended to last, as least compared to subsequent generations. I also think a Boomer beta is more masculine than a Millennial beta.

Boomer females had a greater appreciation for beta provider males than Millennial females. Boomer females were less likely to grow up with the notion of the career woman who supports herself. That wasn't much of a thing for the children whose formative years were in the 1950s and 1960s. By the time Millennial women were children in the 1990s, it was expected that women supported themselves, so a provider beta male was as exciting to a Millennial woman as milquetoast. Since Millennial women were conditioned to be self-reliant, they want a guy for excitement rather than his provider abilities in a lot of cases. If a Millennial woman has a BA/BS degree or higher, she has little need for a beta male to provide. Lower educated, lower wage females don't need a beta male with government assistance readily available, though a provider male is a little bit better than being on government assistance. Since I am educated, almost all my interactions have been with Millennial women with at least a BA/BS degree. When a woman takes care of her own financial needs, her primary needs are sex and emotional excitement until she has kids. I don't want to extend this point since dating single moms should be avoided.

Women raise their sons to their ideal, not to what they actually respond to. A lot of fathers do not teach their sons about meeting women and relationships. Many fathers are absentee. A lot of the fathers from the Boomer generation who were able to achieve long term romantic relationships with the mothers of their Millennial children were beta males. A Boomer beta male isn't going to be able to teach his Millennial son how to pick up Millennial women.

My father was absentee. I have 2 male cousins from my mom's side. 1 is late Gen X and 1 early Millennial. My Boomer uncle had a successful long term relationship with his wife. Both my male cousins have divorces to their name. While they had a caring, present father who was involved in their life, he was not at all equipped to teach them a lot about the current dating environment since he got married to someone he started dating in high school. My cousins both expected their marriages to work because the example they had was of an older style, "Leave It to Beaver" type nuclear family. That was blue pill to the core. The late Gen X cousin is now on his 2nd marriage.

Excellent post, good sir! It's worth reading more than once. Basically sums up why learning game/red pill is critical for young men today.

 

[SirBigBell]

They did it either out of selfishness or lack offoresight. See, raising a child is a demanding fulltime vocation which can get painful sometimes. Parents want an easy job, so they instil beta traits in you such as obedience, compliance, patience, conflict aversion and early responsibility. The earlier you display these display these qualities, the more controllable you are and the easier their parental job. Raising a solid standup guy who holds his own and can fight battles is certainly not easy.

 

[RickTheToad]

?

Depends. Give us some examples on how you acted on your interactions with females.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

?

That is the wrong question to ask yourself.

The real question is, what are YOU going to do to change that?

Remember, the quality of the answer is highly dependent on the quality of the question. We must ask the right questions to get the right answers.


Modern Man Advice

 

[RickTheToad]

No one knows... but ultimately you will write your own script. My parents were the opposite... raised me to be an aggressive ahole. I had detention almost every day of my 7th and 8th grade years.. got into fights... and sh&t on anyone I didn’t like. Got to high school and with hormones it accelerated! Started dating a girl and fell hard.... she actually pushed me to become a “nice guy” so I changed from my junior year until sophomore year in college when she told me she couldn’t stand who I became and cheated on me..... so I was raised one way... lived that way.... then changed for a girl and she hated the nice guy she molded me into.

I found this site... and balanced myself out. I am not a raging ahole anymore but I do not compromise my true self for anyone. I have zero tolerance for bs and live my life for myself. The irony is after I rebuilt myself I ran into that ex.... we talked at a bar and caught up. She sent me an email saying how wrong she was and can’t believe the man I became. She wanted to get back together. And every few years still emails me seeing where I am in life. So... your mom may have raised you to be a beta.. nice guy but you can reprogram yourself anytime you like.

You do not give yourself enough credit. You CAN become that a-hole again!