Why Date?

[Noobie]

Ok, first of all, don't pull out the homo argument

Second is that after dating 3 girls in highschool I've been single for about 2 years and now I'm in university. I've become very successful as a single person devoting my time to improving my life and living very happily!

I've developed many talents being single because I had more time to myself and more time to do useful things. I'm jacked now (muscular) and I learnt to beatbox so I perform quite regularly. I also go clubbing a lot so I have the need for females taken care of.

At this time, a girl is trying to get with me, she's a 7.5, nothing that special to me, and I attracted her, meaning the ball is in my court, meaning I don't feel much attraction for her right now.

What I want to know is... what's the point of even having a girlfriend? The way I see it is she'll only pull me down because I'm very ambitious and I spend my time wisely doing productive things (workout, learning new hobbies/talents).

Besides the need for female genitalia, I don't see a point. Keeping in mind that I have Christian morals so sex shouldn't be a reason. I get makeout/grinding sessions at the club which is sufficient to satisfy my desire for females. So can anyone tell me WHY?

 

[Vypros]

Quite simply: When you meet the right person, you'll automatically know the answer to this question.

You don't understand because you haven't met the right person yet OR you have been hurt in the past, are incredible insecure, and/or are just afraid to open up to another person.

There are two sides to this coin. You either are in a place in your life where you view the opposite sex as a way to satiate your sexual desires (however you might go about that, but most people prefer full blown sex, but you prefer the makeout/grinding, which is perfectly fine...just saying), or you view the opposite sex as a way to enrich your already fulfilling life (dating).

Most people have trouble realizing the difference and tend to polarize their beliefs based on whatever state they are currently in. If you are in a state where you just want to fvck, then your beliefs will currently follow that (as is evidenced by half the members on this site right now, including yourself). If you are in a state where you want more from then, then your beliefs will shift and change based on how far you are willing to go and how much of yourself you are willing to give.

That shift usually comes in the form of a person who, despite your attempt to just view her (and this applies to girls to say I could also say "him" here) as a sex object, but for some reason she reaches beyond that and challenges you in other ways...so much so that you begin to shift your belief system towards more serious relationship matters.

You ask why someone wants to date? The answer is to find companionship and a deeper level of both commitment and enrichment from your interactions with her.

Unfortunately, you have to sift through a lot of "junk" to find someone who can do that, but when it DOES happen you'll be asking "why not?" instead of "why?"

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Quite simply: When you meet the right person, you'll automatically know the answer to this question.

You don't understand because you haven't met the right person yet OR you have been hurt in the past, are incredible insecure, and/or are just afraid to open up to another person.

There are two sides to this coin. You either are in a place in your life where you view the opposite sex as a way to satiate your sexual desires (however you might go about that, but most people prefer full blown sex, but you prefer the makeout/grinding, which is perfectly fine...just saying), or you view the opposite sex as a way to enrich your already fulfilling life (dating).

Most people have trouble realizing the difference and tend to polarize their beliefs based on whatever state they are currently in. If you are in a state where you just want to fvck, then your beliefs will currently follow that (as is evidenced by half the members on this site right now, including yourself). If you are in a state where you want more from then, then your beliefs will shift and change based on how far you are willing to go and how much of yourself you are willing to give.

That shift usually comes in the form of a person who, despite your attempt to just view her (and this applies to girls to say I could also say "him" here) as a sex object, but for some reason she reaches beyond that and challenges you in other ways...so much so that you begin to shift your belief system towards more serious relationship matters.

You ask why someone wants to date? The answer is to find companionship and a deeper level of both commitment and enrichment from your interactions with her.

Unfortunately, you have to sift through a lot of "junk" to find someone who can do that, but when it DOES happen you'll be asking "why not?" instead of "why?"

Your post sounds like what women say when a guy is not reacting to them or when he's not into him as much as she is into him, or when she feels she should the one he falls madly in love with.

Anyway, the OP, is a kid, who is probably barely in his early 20's, so I see nothing wrong with working on himself and his life, and not be distracted at an age when most his age are just wasting away and not thinking of the past.

 

[Vypros]

Your post sounds like what women say when a guy is not reacting to them or when he's not into him as much as she is into him, or when she feels she should the one he falls madly in love with.

Huh?

Anyway, the OP, is a kid, who is probably barely in his early 20's, so I see nothing wrong with working on himself and his life, and not be distracted at an age when most his age are just wasting away and not thinking of the past.

My post didn't imply that there was anything wrong with either of those frames. There's nothing wrong with just wanting sex from your "relationships" anymore than there's nothing MORE right about wanting deeper levels of commitment in your relationships.

As someone who is supposedly 35 years old, you should at least *partly* recognize that and what I was saying. The fact that you don't, well, says volumes about your maturity.

 

[Cry For Love]

Quite simply: When you meet the right person, you'll automatically know the answer to this question.

Yes you just havent found the "one"

 

[Vypros]

Yes you just havent found the "one"

Oh, right, now I see where the misunderstanding is.

Try to remove society's BS programming from your heads. I'm not suggesting there's one person out there for everyone. My personal belief is that there are several people out there who would be perfectly compatible for you, not just "one" soulmate (what a bunch of BS that is).

My POINT is that when you meet one of these people, and you experience something deeper than what you had, you'll realize the difference and why people do it.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Huh?



My post didn't imply that there was anything wrong with either of those frames. There's nothing wrong with just wanting sex from your "relationships" anymore than there's nothing MORE right about wanting deeper levels of commitment in your relationships.

As someone who is supposedly 35 years old, you should at least *partly* recognize that and what I was saying. The fact that you don't, well, says volumes about your maturity.

That's not what your mom says to me. How's that for speaking volumes regarding immaturity? :moon:

What's with the holier than thou tone, attitude you display here and in MOST of your responses. So uptight. Did you get beat up in school too much, or have a small weener? It's ok, you don't need to answer that.

Back on point. The OP is very young and should not worry about any of that stuff, and stay focused. Now, go get laid, you converted Trekkie.

 

[Noobie]

Hey Vypros thanks for the response, don't worry about the other people. I think it's essentially because girls just aren't attracting me. Both
A) The girl isn't physically hot enough
and
B) She isn't presenting much of a challenge to me because I learned to be the challenge as opposed to the pursuer.

Thanks. Oh and being in University is very young now? That's a bit ignorant of you Gangsta Love.

 

[Paintballguy]

Dont sweat it. Most girls out there aren't worth more then a one nighter or a friends with benefits deal.

Personally, I plan on staying single until I find a girl I can put up with. So far that hasn't happened. Until that day, I will keep slaying the hood rats.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Thanks. Oh and being in University is very young now? That's a bit ignorant of you Gangsta Love.

Nevermind guy. Sorry for trying to help and making the point that NOBODY, not just very young men, should feel they need conform and do what it is expected of them. I was agreeing with you and going for your passions, even if they don't include getting into an exclusive LTR at this time.

I take it back.

Just as Cr1msonKing said.