Why Can't You Tell Girls You Like Them ?

[ashman1]

Why is it you just cant tell a girl you like them ?
whats that all about ?

 

[NotoriousBIP]

You can do whatever you want. But if you want to know why maybe its not reccommended on this particular site, I think alot of guys here would see that as AFC. Also it can be giving away too much of your power to the woman. Now I think if your going w/ this girl and have an LTR with her then you should be telling her things like that but also more important than telling is SHOWING a lady what she means to you with your ACTIONS. Anyway, im sure someone else can explain this better than me but I think you can take some points from what I said.

 

[SickAgain]

This is a golden rule and I'll do my very best to explain why this is. Let's look at it from your perspective. Say you're a dating a girl and after say 2 dates she comes out and says that she really likes you. Typically, in your head you'll be like wtf, this chick barely knows me and says she likes me. This should turn you off because it kind of shows that the girl is desperate or is too easily swooned. I mean if the girl was hot as hell I wouldn't even care, but in most cases with regular girls its just a blatant turn-off. You figure, hell if this one likes me that easily, there must be a better deal around the corner waiting too.

Now its the same thing for girls when you say it to them. They'll get weirded out in a similar fashion. I mean the whole point of the game is to get the other person to like you enough to have sex with you, once this has occurred much of the game is over and all the excitement pretty much jumps ship.

 

[Maurizio 2.0]

To answer the question: I have no idea.

I've never understood this rule, but admit that I hear it preached everywhere. Personally, I always feel more comfortable escalating with a girl once she knows that I'm attracted to her, and verbalizing it simply to her, even at a first meeting, has only worked well for me in the past. I don't think it takes away any of my value at all.

True story: Went out to dinner with my family and another that we're good friends with. Waitress was super cute. Tight body. 9. Easily. Flirted with her a little bit throughout the dinner. After dinner when everyone else was walking back towards the entrance, I waited by the bar for a second and waited for her to stroll by on the way back to the kitchen.

I got her attention as she walked by and said to her verbatim: "Hey, I hope this isn't awkward, but I think you're really cute, and I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I didn't get your number."

She laughed, smiled from ear to ear, blushed, and leaned into me and sort of embraced me by putting both her hands on my upper arms. When she got her wits back, she told me to wait a second and disappeared around a corner. Came back with her name and number on a piece of paper.

I have a date with this girl this coming week. She knows I'm attracted, therefore knows what I want from her, and she wants to meet up with me. I have no idea how any of this could be bad.

 

[Max Power]

Because once you say it you are no longer a challenge.

 

[Tha Realnezz]

Not really i would suggest suppressing those emotions untill you know the girl for at least 3 months because are naturally flaky.

But i let dem know fairly quickly if i know they are feeling me...

 

[dannyegg4575]

Good question. As i fall into the trap of telling the girl i like numerous times, I like them. And no thanks to my AFC friend, I too became an AFC.

I think the major reason is because you hardly know the girl. And the major reason is because it no longer makes it challenging for the girl to pursue you. The game quickly ends for her.

The whole relationship thing is base on the girl choosing you. Think of it as you trying to win a prize. How much do you cherish that prize if it's handed to you so easily? it probably wouldn't mean much right?

i remember when i was little and my school had this annual trackmeet. It doesn't matter how much effort you put into winning, once you finish the race, you get a ribbon regardless. So, next few years, everyone knew this and never really gave their best effort.

you only tell a girl that you like her once you have identified that she likes you first. Then, you pursue to tell her you like her too.

 

[slaog]

I think it's ok to let them know you like them. You do this by your actions. What turns women of is needy men. So show them you like them but you don't need them and you're a hard to get man.

I think a little flirting is enough to let somebody know you like them so keep that in mind and show them you're hard to get. DHV (display higher value) with them to show this.

 

[WhitePimp]

Because once you say it you are no longer a challenge.

This.

 

[DonGorgon]

girls know every man likes them, so they wana choose you before you chose them.

 

[n00bPimp]

Dont TELL her you like her. But SHOW her you like her in your own terms.

 

[dannyegg4575]

What did she do to have you like her? How did she earn it?

 

[Snow Plowman]

Reason you don't do this is because...

Everything you do with confidence implies that you've had success in the past so it's generally an implicit social proof. Such as opening a chick or going straight for the kiss without flinching and being indifferent if she pulls back.

Now in this case you come from a place of scarcity, because by asking her out it's showing you have no other options. Chicks generally like to know that you can get any woman you want or that if she rejects you, you can just go to a different girl. So by asking her out it shows...

- You have no options
- You are slotting yourself in the provider frame so now she is going to play the role accordingly
- You come off needy, desperate, and outcome oriented
- You killed the fun of the interaction for her because it is women who love to see how they can get men attracted to them, she wants to win the man over
- Easily slotted into the BF/GF frame which SUCKS, if you want to get all nerdy, you basically are giving her the high value position and value is what gets her highly attracted in the first place.

Overall it is bad...actions speak louder than words, go fuk her first...

 

[Derek Flint]

BS - you can tell a girl that you find her attractive.

This whole "feigning disinterest" BS that the community teaches is counter-productive.

False time constraints, fake opinion openers, hiding your intent, all BS, all based on lies.

What kind of reaction do you expect to get from women when everything is a lie?

No wonder there are things like "LMR" and even more tactics to defeat LMR - LMR is her BS detector going off, telling her something is not right here.

Approach with honesty and sincerity, and you'll get the same in return. If you don't, guess what? She just failed your test and isn't worth the time or your energy.

If you approach honestly and sincerely, and she doesn't respond in kind, why would you even want to spend another minute with a girl like that?

Girls know why we approach them, and it isn't because we're dying to know if they think David Bowie is hot.

I've had a HB 9+ literally shaking by taking her by the hands, looking into her eyes, and telling her that she is absolutely gorgeous, and that I would like to get to know her to see if she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

It all depends on how you say it and how you do it.

If you come from a position of "Oh, you're so beautiful, I'd do anything to go out with you" obviously, you're not going to do very well.

If you approach and have the stronger frame, you can say pretty much whatever.

But the myth of feigning disinterest is community BS

Drop the fakery, the false this, the fake that and watch how much better your game gets with women when you are sincere and honest with them.

Oh, and "giving away your power" Sorry, but if you think that telling a hot girl you find her attractive and would like to get to know her is "giving away your power" you never had any to begin with.

It's like the guys who "next" girls without having f****d them. You didn't "next" her, she "nexted" you.

 

[aix237]

i sometimes dont tell but this girl im kind of invovled with i tell her i like her and she says it back although she said its annoying when i announce it infront of other people.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I agree with the above post that this is all BS. You can tell a girl anything you want to say, it's a free country (as long as you are not groping or touching), and every girl is different. Some girls may be put-off (I don't see how anyone would be turned-off), others may be flattered and open up to you, others may not understand you, who knows.

Maybe this stuff is just going by statistics and probabilities of numbers and what's likely going to work. So, maybe the way to look at it is, if you want to have an edge, or have a better chance, then it's probably better not to say that you like her. But it's not an exact science, and there is no guarantee whether you say it or you don't say it that you'll get what you want.

Now, if you have a oneitis or limerance on someone, then it wont matter what you say, because the vibes that are projected out of that speak louder than anything you say -- she's on a pedistle. On the other hand, if you tell someone you like them, but aren't really that into them, but say it in a jokey tone of voice like you are teasing her, then that's another story.

 

[slaog]

BS - you can tell a girl that you find her attractive.

This whole "feigning disinterest" BS that the community teaches is counter-productive.

False time constraints, fake opinion openers, hiding your intent, all BS, all based on lies.

What kind of reaction do you expect to get from women when everything is a lie?

No wonder there are things like "LMR" and even more tactics to defeat LMR - LMR is her BS detector going off, telling her something is not right here.

Approach with honesty and sincerity, and you'll get the same in return. If you don't, guess what? She just failed your test and isn't worth the time or your energy.

If you approach honestly and sincerely, and she doesn't respond in kind, why would you even want to spend another minute with a girl like that?

Girls know why we approach them, and it isn't because we're dying to know if they think David Bowie is hot.

I've had a HB 9+ literally shaking by taking her by the hands, looking into her eyes, and telling her that she is absolutely gorgeous, and that I would like to get to know her to see if she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

It all depends on how you say it and how you do it.

If you come from a position of "Oh, you're so beautiful, I'd do anything to go out with you" obviously, you're not going to do very well.

If you approach and have the stronger frame, you can say pretty much whatever.

But the myth of feigning disinterest is community BS

Drop the fakery, the false this, the fake that and watch how much better your game gets with women when you are sincere and honest with them.

Oh, and "giving away your power" Sorry, but if you think that telling a hot girl you find her attractive and would like to get to know her is "giving away your power" you never had any to begin with.

It's like the guys who "next" girls without having f****d them. You didn't "next" her, she "nexted" you.

Well said!

As for the giving away your power, well you do that not by showing interest but by being needy and DLV.

It's not rocket science folks. Don't try to overthink it. Let them know you like them but don't need them.

If you don't show interest how will anything develop? Even being hard to get you must show them some degree of interest otherwise you won't be behaving naturally and women will sense this false "weirdo", "creepy" behaviour.

 

[EFFORT]

BS - you can tell a girl that you find her attractive.

This whole "feigning disinterest" BS that the community teaches is counter-productive.

False time constraints, fake opinion openers, hiding your intent, all BS, all based on lies.

What kind of reaction do you expect to get from women when everything is a lie?

No wonder there are things like "LMR" and even more tactics to defeat LMR - LMR is her BS detector going off, telling her something is not right here.

Approach with honesty and sincerity, and you'll get the same in return. If you don't, guess what? She just failed your test and isn't worth the time or your energy.

If you approach honestly and sincerely, and she doesn't respond in kind, why would you even want to spend another minute with a girl like that?

Girls know why we approach them, and it isn't because we're dying to know if they think David Bowie is hot.

I've had a HB 9+ literally shaking by taking her by the hands, looking into her eyes, and telling her that she is absolutely gorgeous, and that I would like to get to know her to see if she is as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside.

It all depends on how you say it and how you do it.

If you come from a position of "Oh, you're so beautiful, I'd do anything to go out with you" obviously, you're not going to do very well.

If you approach and have the stronger frame, you can say pretty much whatever.

But the myth of feigning disinterest is community BS

Drop the fakery, the false this, the fake that and watch how much better your game gets with women when you are sincere and honest with them.

Oh, and "giving away your power" Sorry, but if you think that telling a hot girl you find her attractive and would like to get to know her is "giving away your power" you never had any to begin with.

It's like the guys who "next" girls without having f****d them. You didn't "next" her, she "nexted" you.

....the reason people say not to tell a chick that they like them is because there coming from a place below the chick, they feel that there not worthy and have to tactic there way into getting her, which comes from the wrong place.

 

[DonJuan11]

Why is it you just cant tell a girl you like them ?
whats that all about ?

Why are you starting 4 threads asking one line questions and never responding to all the answers provided? What's all that about?

 

[oakraiderz2]

Lack of social intelligence.