"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Why can't mothers stay slim like in the old days?

kody_starr

Don Juan
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Thank you Scara...and yeah, you Brits are getting fat now too! I read somewhere by the middle of the century, it's projected that EVERY American will be fat. Although that can't possibly happen (at least I hope it can't), that's the projection.

I'm not going to lie, I was at mickey d's for lunch. It was sad. The cashier didn't look as much like a human being as a basketball. The customer in front was grossly obese as well, orange in skin tone, and hadn't bothered to trim his nose hairs in what seemed like decades. They were very chummy of course, but very cold, even belligerent towards me, the normal weighted person.

That's the new trend: discrimination against skinny people as the new minority hate crime...
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Tazman

Master Don Juan
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Weight problems can be summed up in one word: "Sugar" (especially of the refined kind).
 

PSYCHO

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INSIDE YOUR HEAD!

Why can't mothers stay slim like in the old days?



Because they are too filled with sperm and delusions!
 

azanon

Master Don Juan
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Feel free to come up with a generalized answer all you want, but where it concerns you, what does it matter? If you get married, see to it that doesn't happen.

Take RT's wife and my wife for instance. I'll not speak for Mrs. Tomassi, but when I married my wife, she and none of her family never worked out. Since I started dating her at 18, she looked great anyway just due to youth. From day 1, I impressed upon her the importance of fitness and for the entire 16 years of our marriage, we have always encouraged each other to maintain workout programs of some sort.

She's 35 now, and is about 128 at 5'7.5"... still slim and oh so hot naked. However, her mother was already huge by that age, and died many years ago well into the obese range. So much for daughters turning out like their mothers. To be truthful, that's probably what would have happened had she not married me.

Fitness programs still work on mothers in 2009. They just have to do them.
 
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