"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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why can't i get over her?

quest

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hey guys.. this has been bugging me quite a bit lately..

theres this girl i was with in like... july/august last year... she "LJBF'd" me and thats probably when i turned to this site and really started taking it in..
since then i've had sex with 5 girls, been with i guess... 20 girls (estimation) dated 3 girls.. and had a damn girlfriend for 5 months..

i was well over her but everytime i see her/talk to her i can't get her out of my head for ages! its weird, i dated her about 6 times? i would only kiss her at the end of the night to say bye cause i was too scared of coming on too strong and scaring her off.. and i realise it was quite the oposite.
anyway she was nothing special, not bad looking, fairly boring personality. so not anything particularly attractive about her. so why the **** can't i get over her?

i guess a month and a half ago i saw her out at a club and talked with her for quite a while. not only do i realise that there was nothing special about her but she'd put on weight aswell.
she txt'd me not long after.. week or so? since i've txt'd her back once (outa the blue) and again to invite her to my 21st..
i just don't get why i can't get over her..

its not somethign that really bothers me, i've thought about posting about it a few times over the last few weeks but this time i was actually on line..

what can i do though to get her outa my head for good?

don't say **** 10 girls, as i said, i've ****ed 5 since and had a girlfriend for 5 months..
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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CapiCrimini

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look at why your atracted to her... i've been in this situation. You know, you just might not want to admit or realize it. if your having a really hard time making it come to you. Try and write down all your feelings and experiences of her. Then later go back and read them.

it could be because she LJBFed you and you can't accept that she didn't like you?

What we see every day and can't have is what we most desire.
 

CapiCrimini

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Postign here will never find you the answer you ask. Only you can answer this one.
 

L.O.V.E

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The reason for u not being able to get over her is that u are thinking of her and that is why u post here. Stop thinking of her ! Get out of this **** where u keep worrying that she may or may not like u. U claimed that u are well over her but when u see her, it gives u the goosebumps. When u see her, don't be afraid to flirt with her, treat her like any normal girl, if she doesn't like it, behave as though u don't give a **** and start flirting with other girls. Get this straight in ur head that these feelings u have isn't logical, cultivate self-independence and mastery over oneself by underminding the emotions that cause u to think of her. Who cares whether she will come to my 21th birthday ? What so good abt her that i got to waste my money to text her just bcos she text me ? and Why should i think of her when i preoccupied my thoughts with other beautiful girls in the world ? She is not special shows that she may be on par with u, giving her the privilenge issn't gonna to make things work for u, u got to tell urself or her this, "U are not good enough for me, never... (tell her) cos i am a don juan (keep it to urself)" :)
 

quest

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thanks guys.. its weird to me because its been so long since i've been with her, and i've had a girlfriend for so long..
maybe its also because i have problems with my girlfriend sometimes?

anyway.. it felt good to get it off my chest..
oh and i have flirted with her etc.. i have a feeling that i would have picked her up when i saw her at the club (except of course i had a girlfriend... therefor i would have rejected her... if i'm right that she was again interested.. but i'll never know for sure.. i just can't understand, i think i have the don juan way of thinking down pretty well.. although i don't ALWAYS put it into practise aswell as i should)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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S0LID

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You are being lazy, jus get in the field do everything! Aproach in clubs, meet grls off the net, social circles and if your confident enough cold approaches. Keep doing these and learn to enjoy them n your sorted.
 

Kourt

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I used to laugh at everyone who said "I cant get over her" but now I'm begining to really become attracted to this girl I'm dating, and if things dont work well I'll probably be in ur shoes. My advice, focus on other girls.
 
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