"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Why cant I forget about this woman?

leeman67

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There is this woman that I have been attracted to since day one at my job. Started out periodically with eye contact. Either she would stare, look away real quick or wink at me. I always felt what seemed to be a mutual connection about her . but I could never really get a chance to approach her during the work day.

I started asking questions to other guys and finally found out she was married. So to say the least, I was devistated . I decided to join a gym and focus my energy into getting back in shape and forget about her(I had to). Which I did(or thought I did).

Then about 6 months ago we were assigned together on a project. Thats when the Shhhhh really hit the fan. Once we started working side by side. I had no doubts what so ever of a connection between us.

All the indications were there.. Something always about the way she looked at me when we spoke to one another. She would invite me to go out to breakfast and lunch with her. Even wanted to know some work related classes I had signed up for, so she could sign up an go with me . All this time, I thinking in the back of my mind. "What am I doing here? This woman is married. Im setting myself up to get hurt big time here. Yet I found such a strong chemistry between us, I couldnt avoid her. Even when I did, she would come looking for me.

Last month. Our project ended and she is now working on the other end of the building , so now I see very little of her during the days anymore. My thoughts were that was for the best and I should be glad that this happened before I did something I would regret for the rest of my life. But now , I am really having problems trying to get her off my mind. I have not been in but a few relationshps in my life, I know this site hates the word Soul Mate and that it doesnt exist. But there was something her that I had never felt before in my life. ( And great, it has to be a married woman). Am I being tested by god? I have been able to forget about other women before, but there is something about her that I cant shake. Would appreciate some input.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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woods

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Theres only one thing you will hear on here, and that is "see other chicks." They dont make an anti-oneitis pill yet. Whatever you do, dont call up your ex and get her pregnant!
 

Mind_Body_Soul

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Hey leeman,

Dude, I've got some bad news. The relationship that you've already built in your head between you two exists ONLY in your head. Most likely, she did not feel the same way. You've created a little world for the two of you but only you are living there.

The reason you want her so badly is because she is taken. We all want what we can't have. You know what the advice for a situation like this is - GOFTOW (go fvck ten other women). Let me know if she truly is your soul mate after that.
 

Bible_Belt

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Even if she'd cheat with you, and even if you stole her away from her husband, she's eventually cheat on you. She's not being a very good wife to her husband now, and would thus not be good LTR material for you in the future. You're only seeing her good side and not getting the full picture.

And fwiw, the '10 other women' cure usually works long before you get to ten.
 

Vulpine

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lol@"setting myself up to get hurt"
lol@"tested by god"
lol@"I started asking questions to other guys and finally found out she was married. So to say the least, I was devistated ."

*hands leeman67 a tampon*

I don't even know where to start with the advice giving. Start reading. You're head is too far from being on straight to pick on any specific area to advise you in. Just start reading.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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insidious

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leeman67, there is a deceivingly simple step alcoholics must accomplish before they can go anywhere when it comes to recovery, and that is to stop drinking.

In your case, your bad case of one-holicism, your first step needs to be: stop thinking of her.

Whatever it takes for you, do it. Take up a new hobby, travel, meet new women, volunteer at the homeless mission, anything :nervous: Just get your mind off this woman who is your deadend and one way ticket to personal and emotional oblivion.

STOP THINKING ABOUT HER
 

squirrels

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A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Because you've started to identify yourself with the experience of being with her...so being without her causes you to suffer.
 

nonchalant

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Nothing is impossible! If it was meant to be, then tell her how you feel!@
 

leeman67

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Thanks for the advice Guys. I appreciate your input. I think I do need to knock of some "Hood Rats".. may clear my head...
 

penkitten

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because you dont want to.

if you really wanted to forget, you would.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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drmeathead

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either ask her out or move on. dont beat yourself up over this daily. let me guess you have thought up a situation which you are secretly holding out for to a certain degree in which she comes to you and tells you she is leaving him for you because she secretly has been in love with you.
 

drmeathead

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either ask her out or move on. dont beat yourself up over this daily. let me guess you have thought up a situation which you are secretly holding out for to a certain degree in which she comes to you and tells you she is leaving him for you because she secretly has been in love with you.
 
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