"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Why bother getting married anymore??
- Thread starter FutureSpartan
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I could have married 3 or 4 times in the past, but my spidey senses kept me from going that direction.fuzzx said:
And guess what? All but MAYBE one would have been doomed. I say maybe because she was a decent person, but a lot of things can go wrong.
Clear your head dude.
I'm not cheerleading the "alone forever lifestyle". You make it out to be like there anti-marriage means anti-relationship.
What does children have to do with marriage? You all keep throwing out the ridiculous idea that if you have children that somehow they are going to end up ADD afflicted juvenile delinquents if mommy and daddy don't have a piece of paper to solidify their bond as a couple. WTF??
Are you that blind? What the hell does being married have to do with the welfare of the child? NOTHING.
Your head is twisted around this ridiculous idea that a guy has to be either married or a swingin' single. The two are NOT mutually exclusive. There is a lot of grey area in between. All the marriage certificate does is to put a man's balls in a vise, relinquishing him of any little bit of leverage he had in a relationship.
You might feel the overwhelming urge to have kids, but you are not better than anyone else because of it.
This idea that it's the "right thing to do" to have children is similar to the idea that getting married is the right thing to do. It's an individual choice, but with children you have a financial obligation that is usually more equitable than the level of obligation you have to a woman if she decides it's over between you.
Remember how I mentioned that marriage is for poor people? Well, you have made it pretty clear that you don't care much about anything beyond today (which is fine) so in your case, yea, marriage will probably not cause you any undue harm.
But not all of us are at a stage in our life where we can sell out belongings pick up and move to a third world country to find a decent woman. Some of us are working to secure a future that requires us to live in a contaminated culture that is very much stacked against men.
Don't try to substitute YOUR personal situation for the situation of the average american or british or aussie guy. just because it might work better for YOU doesn't mean that it still isn't a raw deal for most other men.
Again with the shaming.....
If you took the "marriage negativity" in this thread for what it is (a healthy dose of realism) rather than an attack on what you deem to be holy, you would see that it a man trying to protect himself is far from misogynistic regardless of what women would like you to believe.
some men here are just so hellbent on the intangible social ramifications of marriage... Do you really NEED A WRITTEN 1-SIDED FINANCIAL CONTRACT TO EXPERIENCE THEM? Is it THAT important to your ego???
If its not about stroking your own ego, then it must be about satisfying the object of your oneitis.
Personally, I think both reasons are utterly stupid, considering the tangible risks that the male is subject to.
Either way, the only tangible benefit you're getting is a tax cut. And that in and of itself MAY be justification to get married; I have heard of people in the military getting married solely because of it (ie they have no feelings or social inclinations whatsoever for each other, they've just found a way to exploit the system).
Luthor Rex
Master Don Juan
*shrug* It wasn't my doing.azanon said:
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Luthor Rex
Master Don Juan
I like to deal with facts instead of random rumblings from anonymous interweb posters, thanks.fuzzx said:
I think it's actually in their charters.
I never said anything about my 'feelings towards marriage'. I guess you can read minds now too.
What made marriage back in the day so much better than it is now?
And also, despite falling Divorce rates, why do people still put a stigma on marriage? what is being done to lower divorce rates? what are couples doing to improve themselves and their marriages?
You guys want facts. well then ask yourself
why do so many people divorce in the first place? what errors are they making?
Paintballguy
Master Don Juan
My cousin did this in order to live on base in Japan with him. She supposably "loves" him, but I have a bet saying they will be divorced in a year or two.piranha45 said:
Original blog post here. Bold area highlighted by "yours truly" to drive home a point to those whose egos and emotions prevail over common sense.
No benefits and a HUGE downside potential? Aw....what the hell....that only applies to THOSE people! I'm not like that! I know how to choose the RIGHT woman!
Go ahead and buy it....that's what society wants from you- compliance. Why so many guys are so stuck on defending such a flawed, one sided concept is beyond me.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Paintballguy
Master Don Juan
This is why I'm not getting married... Plus, add in the bull**** I hear daily from older guys at my work who have been married for a fairly long time. Then, add the fact that all women are psychos to some point. The thought of getting married these days just scares the **** out of me.STR8UP said:
compliance is a tool for the insecure to ensure that their life choices were indeed the best they could have done. If they see their peers suffer, so much the better since it conforms with their own life. We saw this phenomenon in engineering where virtually everyone was struggling with particular assignments, and people would need to complain in order to feel like they were a part of the collective. The smart(er) kids stood out in that respect because they did not naturally conform with the norm.STR8UP said:
The one part I kind of disagree on is how society is "pushing" us to conform. Its all human nature. Its not something we are willingly engaging in. Think back to the monkey on the rope experiment I posted a few years ago. These instincts are hard wired into our habits and have served us well for millions of years...up until now.
As for marriage, I just don't see it. After getting sex with a women initially, they lose a great deal of their power. Women brag about "holding out", which is equivalent to men bragging about wheeling a ton of girls; both are shows of power. Once women get the wedding ring, the power ( in my mind I could be wrong) is shifted from the male. I'll be honest - I don't want that, at least not now.
There is an exciting opportunity for a start up on the horizon. This would require relocating and *gasp* a pretty significant pay cut up front. Should it work out, however, and I could be retired on a sailboat by age 40. My question is this: could i EVER pull something like this off married with a wife and a kid? Would a wife ever accept up and going while having to accept she is losing half of 'our' money? I would say probably not. Alas, I am single ( I do have a girlfriend), and its great to know I have the option of taking my life in this direction!
puma183
Don Juan
http://www.news4jax.com/news/19410437/detail.html#-
Don't y'all run out and get married all at once now, ok?
If I were a man, I'd be terrified!
Of course, I still hope to get married someday. I'm okay with prenups, too.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.