Why attractiveness rating in men is a coping mechanism

[GoodMan32]

I say that attraction and seduction is looks, money, status, and personality all the time.

You mention frame, which is a personality characteristic. Personality is a relevant consideration in SMV, but looks matter more than personality.



Autistic men and incels (there is overlap between the two groups, but there are neurotypical incels) often struggle on personality factors.

Personality is a factor that can get a man dumped/ghosted/flaked on. It will rarely get a man that initial spark.

This autist has a hard time getting a woman...and an even harder time keeping a woman.

 

[SW15]

Courtney Ryan said in one of her vids that men need to stop with the anticipatory rejection. With all due respect, she's full of sh1t. She'll never know what it's like to be a man who gets rejected the vast majority of the time.

Courtney Ryan has her own thread on this forum. She is a fish trying to teach men how to catch fish in general.

The closest Courtney Ryan has ever come to approaching and rejection is that she mentioned setting up street interviews with people. She had to be persuasive enough to stop people and get them to appear in a video she was recording.

I think that's an easier degree of difficulty than trying to start any sort of sexually charged interaction.

Is Courtney Ryan a Fish Trying to Teach Men How to Catch Fish?

https://www.youtube.com/c/CourtneyRyan I can't figure out who is the target market for a woman being a men's issue specialist/leader.

www.sosuave.net

This autist has a hard time getting a woman...and an even harder time keeping a woman.

Keeping a woman is more important over time for sexual frequency.

 

[New_Journey]

He has to do all that for 6/10 slightly chubby non virgin women in her mid 30s who won’t put out unless the man passes a serious of tests and shows his love for her and buys a ring for commitment. In my experience and others I've read online.

You forgot the bolded part.

Men who are lower than "8s" can still get women, but women don't just judge us of looks alone, This is the part that autistic guys don't get incels don't understand you are more than your looks. This is why most incels even if they were to get a girlfriend would never be able to keep them why? cause they don't have charisma, they will simp and put the women in front of their own needs like an obedient lap dog. They do not have the frame to be a leader in a relationship and the woman would punk them and walk all over them. I have seen this in real life before the term "Incel" existed. Men willing to pay women's bills, rent and she is out cheating on him and he knows this but he doesn't care as long as he gets access to her ***** too.

This guy knows what's up.

I don't know where I stand on looks since I get different ratings

If you're doubting, it means you're ugly as fbck. Maybe me competing with my avatar.

The less someone is absorbed in their own insecurities, the more open and attractive they become to others.

Some people protect themselves so fiercely that they become untouchable; they are always guarded, quick to attack, and unwilling to be vulnerable. That same shell that keeps others out also keeps them stuck, unable to move freely or connect with others

Well said.

Look at @BeExcellent husband in contrast. He could be like that and still get girls because they are constantly throwing themselves on him.

Then those gilrs mock him with other girls, since all they do is talk, how autistic he is. I mean, even his own wife @BeExcellent, ridicules him with her girl friends. Do you wanna be that kind of Chad? Do you have such a low value for yourself that his own wife ridicules him? Come on man, you are more than that.

Had a long talk with my normie buddy

You are making fun of youre friend because he is a normie, but what you don't know is that we seek in other people what we have, so by definition it makes you a normie, but a bigger normie than your friend because you're "red pill" aware and still hang out with normies.

 

[corrector]

You forgot the bolded part.


This guy knows what's up.


If you're doubting, it means you're ugly as fbck. Maybe me competing with my avatar.


Well said.


Then those gilrs mock him with other girls, since all they do is talk, how autistic he is. I mean, even his own wife @BeExcellent, ridicules him with her girl friends. Do you wanna be that kind of Chad? Do you have such a low value for yourself that his own wife ridicules him? Come on man, you are more than that.


You are making fun of youre friend because he is a normie, but what you don't know is that we seek in other people what we have, so by definition it makes you a normie, but a bigger normie than your friend because you're "red pill" aware and still hang out with normies.

You have an interesting way of putting things over, I give you that.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Men who are lower than "8s" can still get women,

And they do. Typically, ordinary men get men by having friends, being neurotypical, and having little neuroticism. I know such men who haven’t been womanless for the most of their lives.

 

[Manure Spherian]

The less someone is absorbed in their own insecurities, the more open and attractive they become to others.

Great post. As I’ve said before, I get more attention now as a balding and greying 45 year old than I did as a young guy. I had serious issues with clinical depression and poor self image as a young person, staring in my teens. After I partially tackled those problems I got some women. But because they weren’t fully solved, like @Solomon wrote, they’d eventually have problems with me, understandably so.

Now I walk with my head held high and do not give a f—, so to speak. I know what I am and what I’m not. If someone gets me, they get all of me (quirks, baldness, flaws). If they don’t like that, f—‘em! If I were single, I’d act with women accordingly. I wish I had this mentality as a teen.

 

[BadBoy89]

You forgot the bolded part.

No I didn't. I forgot there are so players on Sosuave who have hot girls under 30 begging to have sex with them and begging to get them pregnant and begging to be father of their children.

Men who are lower than "8s" can still get women, but women don't just judge us of looks alone, This is the part that autistic guys don't get incels don't understand you are more than your looks. This is why most incels even if they were to get a girlfriend would never be able to keep them why? cause they don't have charisma, they will simp and put the women in front of their own needs like an obedient lap dog. They do not have the frame to be a leader in a relationship and the woman would punk them and walk all over them. I have seen this in real life before the term "Incel" existed. Men willing to pay women's bills, rent and she is out cheating on him and he knows this but he doesn't care as long as he gets access to her ***** too.

A man is more than his looks when a woman doesn't want or need to get pregnant from him. THEN and only then she looks at a man's other qualities. A man will only let a woman talk back to him somewhat IF he needs a child from her. If he doesn't, he won't put up with ANY crap. An older man is going to let a younger woman get away with it. A older man will NOT let an older woman get away with it.

Sosuave players are so smooth that will let go a 9/10 at the first sign of disrespect? Brad Pitt won't do it, but Sosuave players will? Give me a break.

The less someone is absorbed in their own insecurities, the more open and attractive they become to others.

Some people protect themselves so fiercely that they become untouchable; they are always guarded, quick to attack, and unwilling to be vulnerable. That same shell that keeps others out also keeps them stuck, unable to move freely or connect with others

That's a good thing. A man has to be guarded in this world or the world will destroy him, let alone a woman.

Once a man becomes vulnerable with a woman, she will absolutely DESTROY when the time is ripe.

It seems like alot of men on Sosuave don't have life experience.


There was a poster on Sosuave, he acted like such a player, such a player, such a players, God's gift to women. He said he couldn't handle all the sex that hot young women were throwing at him.

Maybe 1 year after he joined, he made a thread and said "I made it all up, I'm a keyboard jockey in my mom's basement."

Rock on!

 

[Manure Spherian]

Maybe 1 year after he joined, he made a thread and said "I made it all up, I'm a keyboard jockey in my mom's basement."

Was that the guy with the photo of a bodybuilder in his profile and said he was from NYC and rubbed elbows with high society?

 

[BaronOfHair]

Courtney Ryan said in one of her vids that men need to stop with the anticipatory rejection

Yeah... If you're sweating rejection before you've even approached, you're almost certain to appear less than self-assured. Which ain't sexy

 

[BeExcellent]

Now now @New_Journey do not relate about things you were not there to hear and do not twist my words....in so doing you reveal your own ignorance and bias.

There are certain absurdities in high functioning autistic behavior that are commonalities and there is humor in them. Just as there is humor in the absurdities of women's behavior or parent's behavior or children's behavior and in behavior of any group of people. Comedians make a living on these observations. And we all laugh because we can relate.

That is very different than "mock" and "ridicule" which you erroneously state that I do regarding my husband. That is something I would never do to my husband, who I love & respect.

For you to interpret my sharing here as that says ugly things about you, I share for others here to understand better that men on the spectrum certainly can be in relationships successfully, and frankly you mock & ridicule me, which is your perrogative, but let's be honest shall we?

Here I am minding my own business and you go out of your way to attack and belittle me by telling lies, or at best exaggerations. I would invite you, if you so dislike me, to utilize your "Ignore" button.

I find that childish, but have no issue calling you to account and setting the record straight.

The woman who I was exchanging humor with (who I discussed some months ago on some other thread) is married to a handsome & brilliant cardiac surgeon who is on the spectrum. Thursday they leave for Paris. He is fine wearing the same outfit for each day of the trip. She is a fashion editor. She's like: Um, no sweetheart, its Paris, fashion capital of the world. You cannot just wear the same outfit every day. Needless to say she is packing for them both. They have been married 25 years and adore each other. He just shrugs and goes along with her, although he truly would be fine in the same clothes the whole trip. Its called the compromise in marriage, which is underpinned by deep love, affection & understanding, something you have no frame of reference to understand.

 

[BeExcellent]

As to the original content of the thread:

Yes looks matter in a man. Yes my husband is a very physically attractive man. That is all women see when they first see him, and yes women absolutely will approach him and open him based on looks (he is also very stylish/edgy looking)....he has had hot women walk right up to him in a nightclub setting & want to take him home all his adult life. So yeah he's attractive.

He's also "been there, done that, got the t-shirt" and knows how empty & exhausting it can be cycling through continual ONS and situationships. He's an introvert and finds dealing with clingy insecure women time consuming, annoying & tiring. So he gravitates to LTRs, and obviously we are now married, which was his idea....

Individual women will have different criteria they value. For me sexual desirability (looks and style are big factors in this, as is fitness and yes, height) is number 1, closely followed by 2, intelligence, closely followed by 3, ambition/accomplishment, closely followed by 4. Personality/charm.

If a super sexy man showed interest in me but was not smart? Pass. If he was sexy and smart but a loser? Pass. If he lacked personality/could't hold a conversation? Pass

As an attractive woman I have enjoyed the luxury of being able to choose men on my criteria. Not all women are so lucky. Also, there are plenty of women who will choose a provider above anything else, and will sacrifice on looks or other criteria to get a provider.

I was never one to do that, and frankly I can observe that mindset in women, but I've never understood it as I was not raised that way. I have had men try and entice me with what they have (provider proofing if you will), and I always found that distasteful. If a man leads with "stuff", money, wealth, fancy home, etc., that feels way too transactional for me because it tells me the man feels unworthy without display of "stuff" and I found that icky.

But there are women who will jump on that kind of man.

You want a woman who has desire for you. Not somebody who has an agenda for you to fill.

And being on the spectrum is not impossible for attracting women, although it has its own challenges. I know a chemistry PhD who plays guitar in a friend's band who is quite open about being on the spectrum. He has a girlfriend. I'd say he's a trim but average looking man. He has his hair and he's not short, but looks wise he's no Chad.

Looks do matter. They aren't everything but they matter.

 

[New_Journey]

He is fine wearing the same outfit for each day of the trip. She is a fashion editor. She's like: Um, no sweetheart, its Paris, fashion capital of the world. You cannot just wear the same outfit every day. Needless to say she is packing for them both

He just shrugs and goes along with her, although he truly would be fine in the same clothes the whole trip.

Just like mommy packing for a toddler, I assume you do the same to your hubby, what a fvcking misery to live with a man-child. She got a man-child because he is a surgeon and have money, and you got anther one because he is "hot".

Gentlemen, this is Female Nature in action, pay attention.

They settled for the beta providers, one has money and another one has the looks of "alpha" but in reality is neither. Money or looks won't make any woman respect you, respect is earned.

Its called the compromise in marriage, which is underpinned by deep love, affection & understanding, something you have no frame of reference to understand

Its called Topping from the bottom, being in control while you're the submissive, but most men don't know this.

He's an introvert and finds dealing with clingy insecure women time consuming, annoying & tiring.

He finds it tiring because he doesn't know how to handle women cause women need a leader, not a man child, so he gravitated to and LTR with a woman who is a botch b!tch, loves control and wanted a trophy hubby, therefore, you two found the golden ticket to the Wanka Factory, and that same disfunction keeps you engaged. But in reality, nobody with two thumbs for forehead will envy you.

If he had so many women, then why did he choose you specifically? People love lies and you are not different.

If a super sexy man showed interest in me but was not smart? Pass. If he was sexy and smart but a loser? Pass. If he lacked personality/could't hold a conversation? Pass

But yet you have a man who has all those traits, see kids, never trust what a woman want, they don't even know.

 

[GoodMan32]

Yeah... If you're sweating rejection before you've even approached, you're almost certain to appear less than self-assured. Which ain't sexy

Which is a catch 22.

Since my track record suggests I'm going to get rejected, I have every reason to expect rejection. Yet as a result of my expectant rejection, I come across as less than self-assured.

Just like mommy packing for a toddler, I assume you do the same to your hubby, what a fvcking misery to live with a man-child. She got a man-child because he is a surgeon and have money, and you got anther one because he is "hot".

Gentlemen, this is Female Nature in action, pay attention.

They settled for the beta providers, one has money and another one has the looks of "alpha" but in reality is neither. Money or looks won't make any woman respect you, respect is earned.


Its called Topping from the bottom, being in control while you're the submissive, but most men don't know this.


He finds it tiring because he doesn't know how to handle women cause women need a leader, not a man child, so he gravitated to and LTR with a woman who is a botch b!tch, loves control and wanted a trophy hubby, therefore, you two found the golden ticket to the Wanka Factory, and that same disfunction keeps you engaged. But in reality, nobody with two thumbs for forehead will envy you.

If he had so many women, then why did he choose you specifically? People love lies and you are not different.


But yet you have a man who has all those traits, see kids, never trust what a woman want, they don't even know.

I won't speak for @BeExcellent's husband. I have no idea if she packs for him when they travel (nor is it any of my business).

I'm going to chime in as a man with a mild case of autism, however.

I always pack for myself when traveling. For that matter, a majority of my travel at this point is solo (so I have no one else to pack for me anyway).

And in addition to the fact I pack for myself, I would never in a million years even want anyone else to pack for me. I was in middle school the last time anyone else packed for me.

On the other hand, my one living grandpa (who is extremely neurotypical) couldn't function without my grandma packing for him. Some men (neurotypical or not) just never learned how to do certain things on their own; nothing to do with autism.

The only cases I can think of where autism in and of itself would be to blame (for why someone else has to pack for a grown man) are severe cases of autism.

 

[New_Journey]

Which is a catch 22.

Since my track record suggests I'm going to get rejected, I have every reason to expect rejection. Yet as a result of my expectant rejection, I come across as less than self-assured.



I won't speak for @BeExcellent's husband. I have no idea if she packs for him when they travel (nor is it any of my business).

I'm going to chime in as a man with a mild case of autism, however.

I always pack for myself when traveling. For that matter, a majority of my travel at this point is solo (so I have no one else to pack for me anyway).

And in addition to the fact I pack for myself, I would never in a million years even want anyone else to pack for me. I was in middle school the last time anyone else packed for me.

On the other hand, my one living grandpa (who is extremely neurotypical) couldn't function without my grandma packing for him. Some men (neurotypical or not) just never learned how to do certain things on their own; nothing to do with autism.

The only cases I can think of where autism in and of itself would be to blame (for why someone else has to pack for a grown man) are severe cases of autism.

The truth is, its nor really any autism, men like that are everywhere, they are man child, their mom protected them so much that they can't do anything by themselves.

 

[GoodMan32]

The truth is, its nor really any autism, men like that are everywhere, they are man child, their mom protected them so much that they can't do anything by themselves.

Per the age on your profile, we're pretty close in age.

From what I've seen, men our age tend to be more independent (in the sense that we can do stuff for ourselves).

There's a reason for why it tends to be older men who need a woman to do stuff for him. In times past, the norm was for a man to go from his parents' house to a wife, with little to no transition period. In other words, he'd go from his mom to a wife who doubled as a mom (thus he never learned to do stuff for himself)

On the other hand, with marriage rates at all time lows for our generation, we've had no choice but to learn to do stuff for ourselves. Case in point: I haven't lived with my parents in about a decade...and I've never had a wife. I don't have the luxury of having a woman to do everything for me.

 

[Solomon]

No I didn't. I forgot there are so players on Sosuave who have hot girls under 30 begging to have sex with them and begging to get them pregnant and begging to be father of their children.



A man is more than his looks when a woman doesn't want or need to get pregnant from him. THEN and only then she looks at a man's other qualities. A man will only let a woman talk back to him somewhat IF he needs a child from her. If he doesn't, he won't put up with ANY crap. An older man is going to let a younger woman get away with it. A older man will NOT let an older woman get away with it.

Sosuave players are so smooth that will let go a 9/10 at the first sign of disrespect? Brad Pitt won't do it, but Sosuave players will? Give me a break.

The more I see posts from you, the more asinine they read, lay of the black pills, bub. This nonsense is the epitome of keyboard jockeying

 

[Clockwerk50]

The more I see posts from you, the more asinine they read, lay of the black pills, bub. This nonsense is the epitome of keyboard jockeying

Remember, he got his panties in a bunch because a woman wrote to him “Hi Badboy, thanks for coffee, just wanted to say didn't feel romantic connection. Good luck in your search.”

Again, the opposite of a “bad boy”.

Calling a woman out

I've probably made a thread like this before, but anyway here we go. If a girl assumes something about you, you have to hit her back. Alot of this site keeps saying "walk away, be smooth, girls are silly, don't take it seriously." Well, I somewhat listened to that advice during my last...

www.sosuave.net

 

[BeExcellent]

Lol. I do not pack for my husband. The surgeon and his wife were high school & college sweethearts and times were lean while he was in medical school with young children.

So once again you assume incorrectly about me.

What IS evident however is your gross misunderstanding of nuerodiverse men, Elon Musk is one, and he has zero social filter, which is common. Steve Jobs was also this way and STEM professionals (which I also am) tend to be on the spectrum disproportionately. This creates a number of challenges, but these people are also brilliant in other areas (my husband is an elite level athlete in his sport in addition to being an accomplished professional in his field.)

He chose me because of looks, intelligence, emotional stability and personality among other things. He had more than enough of hot but clingy/crazy and chose to marry hot but not clingy or crazy.

You simply need a reason to continue to insult me personally despite my success in my relationship as well as financially, as I do not match your belief system.

Tell yourself whatever makes you feel better senor. It has absolutely zero affect on my actual reality.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I have every reason to expect rejection

Only IF you keep failing to alter your behaviors and insane, rigid belief system. You're the equivalent of a hunter who continues making a racket while stalking elk, goes home hungry, yet somehow never learns the virtue of stealth

 

[GoodMan32]

Only IF you keep failing to alter your behaviors and insane, rigid belief system. You're the equivalent of a hunter who continues making a racket while stalking elk, goes home hungry, yet somehow never learns the virtue of stealth

I know one thing you're referring to when you say insane/rigid belief system is my reluctance to ever nail a woman below the age of 45 again.

Here's the thing though: I managed to get with a few 45+ year old partners when I was 20-23. For free.

If 45+ year olds were willing to get with me at 20-23, surely there are even more 45+ year olds who would be willing to get with me now (now that the age gap has narrowed)

To tie this in with the topic of the thread (attractiveness in men), a woman (when judging a man's looks) doesn't value youth the same way most men do. The fact I've aged out of boytoy territory really isn't the disaster some on this forum have made it out to be.