"Why are you staring at me?"

[naes]

After discovering the importance of eye contact, i decided to go out and use it.

Overall it has been successful, but not every time. If I know who the girl is and I make eye contact with her across the room, I have twice gotten "why are you staring at me?" from two different girls.

Is there anything I could have done wrong? What would have prompted this response?

 

[white cloud 8]

Staring too long .

 

[The_411]

This does happen from time to time. Sometimes you're looking too long, but never fear!

When a chick asks, "What are you staring at?" Come back with something comical or with extreme hb a neg hit is the perfect antidote.

I.E.

HB: "What are you staring at?"
You: "I'm just wondering why in the world you're wearing a tiny backpack, are they cheaper than than the big ones?" (humourous)

or

HB: "What are you staring at?"
You: "I think your left breast is bigger than your right" (humourous)

Basically the query "what are you staring at?" is a defensive cue indicating that you need to engage in conversation or stop looking

 

[stalluproar]

I think I will use this as a default situation. Any ways to deal with this? I remember long ago some girl said that to me and I only looked at her for a few seconds. I didn't know how to respond.

 

[naes]

would it mean that she is not interested?

 

[The_411]

Well unless you make some sort of comeback you've been rendered powerless because the question, "What are you staring at?" Doubles as a conditional command "Don't stare at me unless you've got a good reason i.e conversation etc."

If you turn away and stop looking then you've become submissive and she holds the power.

In that case it will be nearly impossible to regain the power so yes she's not likely interested.

 

[wind20mph]

What goes wrong? *smiles* yeah what goes wrong is because she knows you werent staring like that before. try looking some details so you will have answer when she asks you "why are you staring at me?"

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by naes
would it mean that she is not interested?

Yes and no. It's more likely to mean that you're freaking her out. There's a difference between looking at her and staring. Staring is stalkerish, especially if you don't know her. Why not try brief eye contact and then follow it up with walking over and introducing yourself?

 

[Guitar_Whizz]

Some reasonable replies here, but you've all missed something important - if you want to initiate an encounter non-verbally, you have to look at her and SMILE. Yes SMILE, not just look.

If you look at her with a blank expression, no wonder she'll think you're staring. Try looking at her, and wait until she notices you looking, hold the eye contact a few seconds, then SMILE before you look away. Repeat again a few times, then SAY SOMETHING to break the ice.

Another thing that works for me is a little flirty wave. After you've smiled at her, try a little wave - it works wonders!

 

[PRMoon]

It's like the sun, you don't just focus on it forever, you'll burn out your retinas. You look wait for a reaction, and divert your eyes as you feel is necessary.

you know, lather, rinse, repeat

 

[midwestguy]

Tell her you think shes cute.