Why are **** tests rewarded?

[taiyuu_otoko]

But most men are such simps that they keep accepting bad behaviour and just term it as "**** tests".

fify

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I used to think shvt tests were a compliment; women do not test bums, after all, they have to make sure you're really a man. But on the flip side, do you really think women would shvt test a Channing Tatum? No. Honestly, you can compare yourself to these two hypothetical extremes for any female behavior and figure out where you stand.

I do agree that shvt tests are actually pretty cvnty and should not be rewarded with further attention. I'm now going to walk away from women who do them frequently or do a particularly manipulative shvt test (such as provoking jealousy or baiting). Minor, light shvt tests are probably fine (and comfort tests) but that's about it.

 

[espanish]

No not punch her, but retaliate her rudeness with rudeness. Depends on the scenario obviously, but she just doesnt get to walk away without facing the same level of rudeness she gave a man.

If enough men take that path,she'll soon realize it and the next guy who approaches her gets to see a gentle behaviour.

The problem is when men put her on a pedestal. Men really need to grow some balls.

I am not sure that retaliating would accomplish that. so she says "you are too short" you say "you are too old for me anyway" or "you are too fat for me"
is she going to regret her behavior and start being nicer? I dont know.
sounds like you are getting pissed off because you don't get the validation you are looking for. I think that's the issue you need to address. you need to love yourself so you stop seeking validation from the outside.

 

[Veréngárda]

Rudeness and dismissiveness aren't **** tests.
**** tests are **** tests.

 

[RSDCharlie]

I am not sure that retaliating would accomplish that. so she says "you are too short" you say "you are too old for me anyway" or "you are too fat for me"
is she going to regret her behavior and start being nicer? I dont know.
sounds like you are getting pissed off because you don't get the validation you are looking for. I think that's the issue you need to address. you need to love yourself so you stop seeking validation from the outside.

Yes i do love myself. And respect myself. And that includes not taking crap from others.

 

[espanish]

Yes i do love myself. And respect myself. And that includes not taking crap from others.

so why are you affected by a girl being rude to you? you should not be affected by a girl being nice or rude to you. if a girl is being nice to you should not become happy. if a girl is being rude you should not get pissed off. you should not be affected.

 

[Glassguy]

Chiming in as a female but imo any type of reaction/response to a woman's piss poor behavior - shyt tests, disrespect - shows that she affected you, that you care and gives her validation.

Getting angry and/or retaliating gives her a huge amount of validation!

You think you're acting strong and showing you're not tolerating her shyt, but in a woman's mind, it's the opposite.

The message it sends is you care. She affected you. She has power over you.

It's emotional and a really bad message to send. Leave the emotions to her.

A better response imo (and experience) is indifference. Say NOTHING. Simply walk away (for good) and ignore.

Ignoring is way more powerful than getting angry or retaliating or any other response.

@Glassguy posted this on another thread that when you have an abundance mindset, it's like having a million dollar budget to buy a car. You test drive many and if they aren't what you're looking for, move on to the next.

Nothing needs to be said, just move on.

Same holds true for women about men.

Don't get angry, don't use punishing methods, just move the hell on and find better.

Why get angry? That just shows that you were wayyyyy to invested in someone who never was invested in you.

Why would anyone want to be with someone who is unsure if they want to be with you? Desperate people.....thats who.
Just silently move on with class. Nothing needs to be said.

 

[RSDCharlie]

so why are you affected by a girl being rude to you? you should not be affected by a girl being nice or rude to you. if a girl is being nice to you should not become happy. if a girl is being rude you should not get pissed off. you should not be affected.

Ok so you don't know me. I was bullied all the way in high school, by guys and girls alike. Guys usually did it to impress girls, and i was the victim.

At that time i didn't retaliate at all. Had the same mindset "they cant affect me". And you know that? They didnt stop, and it affected me mentally.

Speaking from experience, you should always retaliate when someone is rude to you. Or tries to badmouth or bully you. Bloody punch them if you can. They will respect you more if you retaliate.

 

[RSDCharlie]

Ok so you don't know me. I was bullied all the way in high school, by guys and girls alike. Guys usually did it to impress girls, and i was the victim.

At that time i didn't retaliate at all. Had the same mindset "they cant affect me". And you know that? They didnt stop, and it affected me mentally.

Speaking from experience, you should always retaliate when someone is rude to you. Or tries to badmouth or bully you. Bloody punch them if you can. They will respect you more if you retaliate.

Hell you will respect yourself more.

 

[Veréngárda]

Ok so you don't know me. I was bullied all the way in high school, by guys and girls alike. Guys usually did it to impress girls, and i was the victim.

At that time i didn't retaliate at all. Had the same mindset "they cant affect me". And you know that? They didnt stop, and it affected me mentally.

Speaking from experience, you should always retaliate when someone is rude to you. Or tries to badmouth or bully you. Bloody punch them if you can. They will respect you more if you retaliate.

I won't deny I agree with this.. when said by a rational person.

The problematic part is that you're calling them ****-tests.. which tells me that you'd consider it rude no matter how a woman rejects you.

She could do it in the most neutral way possible and you'd still want to kick her ass just because she's not letting you down in a way that kisses up to you.

Until you learn to separate rejection from rudeness from actual ****-tests, you will continue to have this problem.

EDIT: Failed quote insert ‍

 

[RSDCharlie]

I won't deny I agree with this.. when said by a rational person.

The problematic part is that you're calling them ****-tests.. which tells me that you'd consider it rude no matter how a woman rejects you.

She could do it in the most neutral way possible and you'd still want to kick her ass just because she's not letting you down in a way that kisses up to you.

Until you learn to separate rejection from rudeness from actual ****-tests, you will continue to have this problem.

EDIT: Failed quote insert ‍

Ive had rejections before. But theres a difference between "sorry im not interested" and "Get lost moron". I know the differences between the two, and i know how to react.

 

[Veréngárda]

Ive had rejections before. But theres a difference between "sorry im not interested" and "Get lost moron". I know the differences between the two, and i know how to react.

Notice how I said "not letting you down in a way that kisses up to you."

She doesn't have to apologize.

 

[RSDCharlie]

Notice how I said "not letting you down in a way that kisses up to you."

She doesn't have to apologize.

So saying sorry or thank you to someone means kissing up to them? Dude you really need to meet some good people.

 

[Veréngárda]

So saying sorry or thank you to someone means kissing up to them? Dude you really need to meet some good people.

Last week I got canned from a Job for filling out paperwork in a way that pissed off the union because they asked me an unprofessional question. If I were to apologize to them, I would be kissing up to them.

I told my father recently to go get shot in a casino because he was getting pathetic. If I were to apologize to him, I would be kissing up to him.

If those things don't require an apology, rejection most certainly doesn't.

 

[RSDCharlie]

Last week I got canned from a Job for filling out paperwork in a way that pissed off the union because they asked me an unprofessional question. If I were to apologize to them, I would be kissing up to them.

I told my father recently to go get shot in a casino because he was getting pathetic. If I were to apologize to him, I would be kissing up to him.

If those things don't require an apology, rejection most certainly doesn't.

I dont know about your job so i cant comment on that. But apologizing to your dad for saying that he rather die, that's not the definition of kissing up at all.

 

[Veréngárda]

I dont know about your job so i cant comment on that. But apologizing to your dad for saying that he rather die, that's not the definition of kissing up at all.

So you're still not denying that you think women should have to apologize for rejecting you.

I rest my case.

 

[RSDCharlie]

So you're still not denying that you think women should have to apologize for rejecting you.

I rest my case.

They dont have to literally say sorry. The tone of her voice says tons about her.

And you never had a case to begin with

 

[espanish]

Ok so you don't know me. I was bullied all the way in high school, by guys and girls alike. Guys usually did it to impress girls, and i was the victim.

At that time i didn't retaliate at all. Had the same mindset "they cant affect me". And you know that? They didnt stop, and it affected me mentally.

Speaking from experience, you should always retaliate when someone is rude to you. Or tries to badmouth or bully you. Bloody punch them if you can. They will respect you more if you retaliate.

everybody has a struggle in their past, you can't let that stuff get to you.
bullying is different from a girl being rude. I agree that you should put a bully in his place, and even physically hurt him if he is physically hurting you (the problem is bullies usually pick on people that are smaller and weaker).
you need to understand the problem is your mindset. something is causing you to seek validation, maybe lack of self love, maybe something else. until you remedy that, you cannot do pick up because girls being rude is going to happen over and over again. if you don't want the ball to hit you, you can't play soccer. girls want a masculine man, someone who they cannot control. the minute a girl finds out she can control your feelings, she loses respect for you and cannot be attracted to you. you have to reach a point where a girl's reaction to you doesn't affect how you feel about yourself. even if you approach a girl and she says "you are so sexy" that should not make you happy.
I know exactly where you are coming from, and sometimes I also get pissed off at a girl being rude. what I am telling you is things that took years for me to realize. you are saving years by listening to me.

 

[thermodynamic]

Sometimes they are acting up for attention. They want to be put in their place and if you don't do that they will find someone who will.

Right on. These girls are the submissive ones and they're challenging you to put em in there place