Why are men so emotional these days?

[diplomatic_lies]

Only recently, while sitting on a bus, I saw a man crying.

Not just a few tears, but the whole waterworks. Sobbing. According to the passenger next to me, the guy was crying about being dumped over the mobile phone.

I started wondering, when has it become ok for guys to express emotions? What happened to a thousand years of social conditioning, where men had to stand stoic in the face of danger, grief, and fear, without a hint of expression?

Maybe we should have an emotion free day (like national day), where we celebrate without excessive emotions.

 

[Tomatoes]

Its becoming a social exception for a bloke to cry in certain situations. Sterotyping isnt always right you know.

Give it 10 years and i bet blokes will be waxing and wearing makeup

I will just stick to my regular sun bed for now. Im beautiful enough

For the record: I have cried at a break up before....only once. It depends how much that person ment i guess....so let the guy cry!

 

[TheLazy]

honestly i dont think theres anything wrong with that guy crying about being dumped, it is understandable.

 

[DrBeard]

Theyr all a bunch of ponces! REAL men wouldnt do that shiat!

If I saw some ponce cryin in front of me cos his chick dumped him Id spit on him and slap his face until I could see the bone!! They r an embarrsment to MANkind!

 

[MrS]

Tv, movies, no army, bad parenting, no discipline, no morals, no standards, no modern greats to look up to, lack of education/schooling.

Just of the top of my head.

this is in general, not about dumping or women or anything.

 

[TheLazy]

Theyr all a bunch of ponces! REAL men wouldnt do that shiat!

If I saw some ponce cryin in front of me cos his chick dumped him Id spit on him and slap his face until I could see the bone!! They r an embarrsment to MANkind!

you need professional help lol.

 

[Vulpine]

Tv, movies, no army, bad parenting, no discipline, no morals, no standards, no modern greats to look up to, lack of education/schooling.

Just of the top of my head.

this is in general, not about dumping or women or anything.

Right on. The "modern greats" we have now are Dr. Phil, George W., and Bill Gates? ? ? ? ?

Boy, I do love a good cry. But, I make sure to do it around a campfire, drunk, in the middle of some remote woods, while eating meat on a stick and staring at a gun, just to keep my masculinity close and prevent this sort of outburst in an inappropriate place - like on a bus. When done properly, crying can ENHANCE masculinity. Like say, pall-bearer at a funeral. A girl friend of mine actually passed out, no sh!t - passed out, when I let the waterworks go at a funeral. When I asked her what happened later, she explained:

"I never had seen you cry. I couldn't even imagine you crying. I knew that (dead guy) was your best friend, but you are so strong. It was all so weird, like he wasn't really dead, and we were all watching you. We all sort of were, like, out of it and didn't know how to cope. Since you were his best friend, we figured you were taking it the hardest, so, you were our strength. Then, when you finally cried, it was all too real... that's when I blacked out. Everyone knew that he was gone and that was it. Thank You. Everyone needed you to cry."

That was a fuxed up scene. People started bawling just because I weeped.

Men crying has an appropriate time and place. Crying on a bus? Because a beyatch broke up with you OVER THE PHONE?!! I'd be more pissed off than sad - pissed off because she broke up OVER THE PHONE!!!!!

 

[Desdinova]

I started wondering, when has it become ok for guys to express emotions?

Society has stated that REAL MEN CRY. Since real men cry, they can cry wherever the hell they want.

Why doesn't society also say "REAL WOMEN BLEED" and let them bleed all over everything when they're on their periods? Same 5hit, different pile.

Some things should just be kept in private. If a man needs to cry, he does it at home and away from his family. He is the one they look up to for strength and support. They need to have confidence in their male roll model. It's pretty hard to have confidence in a strong leader when he's crying like a little girl.

Give it 10 years and i bet blokes will be waxing and wearing makeup

It's already there. I watched a dude get his chest hair waxed by his gf. Also, don't get me started on the whole emo/goth thing.

 

[Desdinova]

Just to update with Vulpine's comment:

Men crying has an appropriate time and place.

I have never lost anyone extremely close to me in death, so I don't know what that's like. From what you stated, I believe you to be correct in a situation like this.

 

[Visceral]

Social conditioning, or lack thereof.

Male emotions didn't appear out of nowhere in the 1990s, but instead society changed, and no longer expects men to suppress their emotions, but doesn't think well of acting on them, because it scares the womenfolk

When you're no longer conditioned out of your emotions, but are not allowed to act on them, all you can do is sit there and either bytch or cry.

Besides, you have to experience a lot of hardship, danger, and tragedy before you become numb to them, and life just doesn't have as much of these things as it did in the good ol' days

 

[sifer]

Maybe it's just me then. Here in New York everyone's tough. Must be either just me or New York, or you guys live in "happy-go-around" places where girls are incredibly hard (seemingly by what some of you guys described as) to get and the guys are incredibly puny.

 

[thefonz]

Maybe it's the lack of father figures in today's society which is a huge problem

My father died when I was 3 and my mother never remarried or wanted to date anyone else so I became conditioned to be over emotional growing up (having only a mother figure). I'm still overly emotional today and can't help feel things very intensely. I hate it. I just wanna be a mentally independent masculine man but it's probably the hardest things in my life I have to deal with. I don't cry in public but I find it hard to hide when I become visably upset about something, or happy for that matter. I just have to find a way to deal with my emotions.

BTW, I'm a proponent of crying as a form of therapy, but only in private if you can teach yourself to do it.....I don't know of any greater stress reliever

 

[sifer]

I've never conformed to society's expectations of a "real" man. If I feel like crying, I do.

Same, I don't care what people think. I'm me and you're you. We weren't raised in the same environment or by culture or even where we live. I have my standards and customs at home and those revolving around me, you have yours.

I have my own name, what I do is what makes up a bulk of me. I don't want the society to dictate who I must/should date, where I should go at night, why I should get a certain job because of my skin color, etcetc.

Play by your own rules men. Not what the society puts out on tv for "this is what a man should do and what a man should dress as!"

 

[sifer]

.....I don't know of any greater stress reliever

Depends on what the situation is. I've always found shooting a gun off in a gun range alone does good for me.

Around March or April, a friend had taken me to a Jersey range, where he allowed me to play with his M249.

Seriously don't ask me how he acquired a SAW (probably wasn't a genuine one); all I knew was the pleasure when I totally destroyed the metal boardback at 100 yard radius.

 

[MVPlaya]

Only recently, while sitting on a bus, I saw a man crying.

Not just a few tears, but the whole waterworks. Sobbing. According to the passenger next to me, the guy was crying about being dumped over the mobile phone.

I started wondering, when has it become ok for guys to express emotions? What happened to a thousand years of social conditioning, where men had to stand stoic in the face of danger, grief, and fear, without a hint of expression?

Maybe we should have an emotion free day (like national day), where we celebrate without excessive emotions.

How the hell is suppressing all your emotions healthy? When I am around friends and we share in grief I'll act strong and help them through it, but if I'm alone, I'm not untouched by grief. To be dumped if you were completely in love can be emotionally hard, and to have a close friend die can be emotionally devastating. Dealing with emotions rather than suppressing them is much more important than putting up a fake shield to random people on the bus who you've never met.

 

[Marlimus]

The ability to control your emotions and master your composure is part of manhood, to cry for trivial things suggests that you have no self-control and limited life experience. There are other societies around the world characterized by grinding poverty, astronomical crime rates and constant civil war; in such societies the oversensitive girly-men get killed, and rightly so.

Masculinity is strength, srength is control, control is mastery over self.

 

[Warboss Alex]

Oh listen at you lot. "Men shouldn't cry" "We gotta be hardcore macho stoic leader souless cold bastions of unemotion" and all that rubbish.

I've cried at funerals, over girls who weren't worth it, over girls who WERE worth it (but that had a happy ending ), even at a couple of movies 'hem 'hem, and I shall continue to shed my tears when and if I deem it appropriate. Yes I try to hold them in and 'appear' brave but there comes a point when you can't - you're not a bloody rock, you're a human being with feelings and emotions.

I've seen guys cry in the army. Yes, grown men who stood there, got bollocked by the nco with tears streaming down their face. Did we make fun of them? Did the officer? No - well, there were a few who did but guess what, those few were even more emotionally fragile than the guys who were actually crying, and needed to vent their own frustrations on someone so they didn't turn on the waterworks themselves.

Don't anyone tell me there's not one situation in which you wouldn't cry, because I will call you a liar. Now stop playing hardasses and making fun of this guy. He was upset, it's understandable, he'll cry his tears and get on with his life. That's what people do. Get over yourselves.

It takes a big man to cry, remember that fellas. Are you the bigger man if you laugh at them? Like **** you are.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

The ability to control your emotions and master your composure is part of manhood, to cry for trivial things suggests that you have no self-control and limited life experience. There are other societies around the world characterized by grinding poverty, astronomical crime rates and constant civil war; in such societies the oversensitive girly-men get killed, and rightly so.

Masculinity is strength, srength is control, control is mastery over self.

Somebody just got positive rep! that was pure genius, it was beautiful! I was acting like a sissy one time I can't remember exactly what I did, my mother came and told me something along these lines

"stop it and act like a man. Men have to act and be strong because the world demands this of men, if not they will be stepped on. Men have more responsibility, men have to be more prepared because 1 day they you might lead a family so you have to be strong."

When she said that to me she was giving great motherly advice, advice from a good mother. In this day and age mothers are so ____ up they won't even discipline their boys or raise them right. In this mtv generation guys turn into adults at age 18 but most haven't become men.

She is old fashioned but in this day and age old fashion means good. Society as we know it is corrupt, our morals and values are corrupt and upside down. Society teaches boys to play with dolls and girls to play with cars. Boys are being taught to be feminine while girls are taught to be strong and bold. Im fed up I won't put up with this ____

of course you all know Henry Makow has been exposing this at http://www.savethemales.ca

 

[wavejams007]

well, everything in their appropriate place. I cry at close friends' funerals and some family's funerals, and I might cry if I am alone over a close relationship that is ended, but other than that, not really, but I don't try and act all macho and "real men don't cry" is bull. Just don't cry about everything, unless you are commiting suicide.

 

[Nocturnal]

You are asking the wrong question.

Take away my emotion and what am I? It is impossible to be human without emotion, it is impossible to be masculine without being human. The greatest men in history were more emotional than most men today.

So what's the difference? There is a difference between being passionate about life, and to be passionately against life. The men who cry about their misfortunes and blame the world, in addition to the women who do the same, are no more emotional than the men who power the motor of the world and who are the epitomy of the ideal man. They are, however more irrational. They do not take responsibility for themselves and they try to ease their pain by fighting reality with illusion and self pity. They will never win, however, and will be miserable for it.

As far as expressing emotion, there is a difference between being mature, steadfast, in control of one's life, and being insecure but able to hide it.