"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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why are guys today so lame?

Kool4Katz

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I am not trying to be depressing or make anyone feel bad... but it strikes me as fairly ridiculous that so many men have problems even talking to girls and being with them. How did it get this way? I can only imagine things were different decades ago. Is it fair to say a lot of people are alienated from "life" in general?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Mike32ct

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Girls today don't want to be bothered unless you meet or exceeds her very strict looks criteria. So some guys that approach girls get a warm welcome. Others get shut down hard.

I don't think it was always like that. My understanding is that years ago, if you were clean and confident, you did alright with the ladies and they appreciated it when you talked to them.

Today, besides the looks stuff, they stay in large groups, text 24/7, and do eveything possible to make it difficult for guys to approach.
 

Leporello

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Shallowness of society in general. Maybe it was always like that, but in less obvious ways.
 

st_99

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maybe it was always like that, not sure. you're right though, a lot of us are pretty fvcking lame
in terms of being afraid of rejection, its kind of pathetic.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Eternal_water

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Its not even so much being afraid of rejection, in my case I know I just have absolutely nothing to say to them beyond hi. So whats the point.
 

MisterD

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The shaming of men thanks to the feminist movement in the media.

Where men are portrayed as stupid, spineless, and only after sex.

Because of this, some men fear escalating/kino/sexual talk because they're afraid the girl will think they're a perv.

So then they avoid it and end up in the friendzone.

Also, in the media, the good, wholesome guy seems to end up with the babe a majority of the time, where in reality, that simply does not happen. So the good guys in real life that think this approach works have been sorely disappointed when hit with reality.

Also, because of technology, we're losing our ability to interact socially in real world settings. So something that should have been natural, needs developing.

ALSO, men these days place a higher emphasis on getting laid than being themselves and having self respect. So instead of standing their ground, they do whatever they think will get them vag.

We're a generation of ***** beggars. Hopefully that changes soon.
 

corrector

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Kool4Katz said:
I am not trying to be depressing or make anyone feel bad... but it strikes me as fairly ridiculous that so many men have problems even talking to girls and being with them. How did it get this way? I can only imagine things were different decades ago. Is it fair to say a lot of people are alienated from "life" in general?
I guess not everyone is born a 10/10 in the looks department, is a hollywood celibrity, or has huge bank accounts like you do?
 

corrector

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MisterD said:
The shaming of men thanks to the feminist movement in the media.

Where men are portrayed as stupid, spineless, and only after sex.

Because of this, some men fear escalating/kino/sexual talk because they're afraid the girl will think they're a perv.
Or they may call the police, trump up a rape charge. Some serious crap goes on out there.

MisterD said:
So then they aviod it and end up in the friendzone.
And out of jail too in some cases.

MisterD} said:
Also, in the media, the good, wholesome guy seems to end up with the babe a majority of the time, where in reality, that simply does not happen. So the good guys in real life that think this approach works have been sorely disappointed when hit with reality.
Hollywood movies sell fantasy to the public.

MisterD said:
ALSO, men these days place a higher emphasis on getting laid than being themselves and having self respect. So instead of standing their ground, they do whatever they think will get them vag.

MisterD said:
We're a generation of ***** beggars. Hopefully that changes soon.
It won't change soon. China will recall it's debt, America will go into hyperinflation it will really be a nation of beggars. No matter who you elect, Obama or Romney, you are doomed.
 

Eternal_water

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MisterD said:
The shaming of men thanks to the feminist movement in the media.

Where men are portrayed as stupid, spineless, and only after sex.

Because of this, some men fear escalating/kino/sexual talk because they're afraid the girl will think they're a perv.

So then they avoid it and end up in the friendzone.

Also, in the media, the good, wholesome guy seems to end up with the babe a majority of the time, where in reality, that simply does not happen. So the good guys in real life that think this approach works have been sorely disappointed when hit with reality.

Also, because of technology, we're losing our ability to interact socially in real world settings. So something that should have been natural, needs developing.

ALSO, men these days place a higher emphasis on getting laid than being themselves and having self respect. So instead of standing their ground, they do whatever they think will get them vag.

We're a generation of ***** beggars. Hopefully that changes soon.
This
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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zekko

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Speaking as a guy who has lived for 51 years, there have always been guys who do better with women than others. Some guys are shy, some guys are puny growing up, some guys are fat, some guys have bad acne, some guys grow up poor, have bad teeth, don't have nice clothes, some guys are bullied, some have bad experiences early on that affect them for years. Some just have no clue as to what to do.

Guys failing with women is nothing new.
Things may be a little worse now. Back in my day, women were probably more realistic about what they could expect in a guy. From reading this forum, I get the impression women feel more entitled today.

I see this as part of the generally lower moral standards today. There was a time when a little humility was seen as a virtue. Women are brought up to believe that they're all that now, when at one time that kind of attitude would have been shameful. Humility is not valued at all in today's society. Unfortunately.
 

Lexington

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zekko said:
There was a time when a little humility was seen as a virtue. Women are brought up to believe that they're all that now, when at one time that kind of attitude would have been shameful. Humility is not valued at all in today's society. Unfortunately.
I blame Mr. Rogers. This guy taught an entire generation that they were inherently "special."

And people wonder why everyone has such an entitled mentality these days!
 

Alle_Gory

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Today's kids were raised by television and baby boomers who couldn't be bothered to care for them. Because they were busy worshipping the almighty dollar and tearing down anything of value and interest built by those before them.

I'm glad they're going to have a tough time in retirement. That's what you get for short term thinking and acting on your impulses like children. Let them rot in their own filth.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Ihateinitiatingalot7

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Probably Technology, and Father's not being as strict as before, i had a father figure and i still do, my biological parents are still together, maybe he did not raise me good enough.
 

spinaroonie

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I'm watching Mad Men and assuming it's a fairly realistic portrayal of the 60s, I'm struck by how much more confidence and swagger men had back then in their interactions with women. Most films from that period also reveal this.

Men today - particularly educated, white-collar professionals - are far more sheepish and meek by comparison.

That said, it's in fact women who have changed far more than men since that period.
 

Trump

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MisterD said:
Where men are portrayed as stupid, spineless, and only after sex.

Because of this, some men fear escalating/kino/sexual talk because they're afraid the girl will think they're a perv.

So then they avoid it and end up in the friendzone.

Also, because of technology, we're losing our ability to interact socially in real world settings. So something that should have been natural, needs developing.

ALSO, men these days place a higher emphasis on getting laid than being themselves and having self respect. So instead of standing their ground, they do whatever they think will get them vag.
Completely agree, but you can't hate the player, only hate the game.

Technology isn't going to stop so men can interact better

The emphasis and importance of getting laid will always be there.

Just have to fight the power.
 

Stryker

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It's definitely a combination of things; the assault of the media in recent years has clouded our vision of women- it's made us see them as these goddesses in bikinis who can do no wrong. The advancements women have made with feminism has also had a negative impact on men. A previous poster was correct; feminism has made men scared to initiate any kino, or even simply escalating the conversation into a more sexual area. Finally, we've gotten so used to social media, it's hurting our ability to interact with women face to face. People can deny that all they want, but it's true.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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