WHY are girls so cold towards me?

[PhenomX]

sup guys im a senior in a private school that goes from 6th-12th grade, and I came in the 6th grade.

Back in my awkward middle school years i was sorta a nerd. I was never antisocial but i did have anti social tendencies because i spent the majority of my time inside playing computer games during my free time at school. i had a few girls interested in me but i was too oblivious to them even liking me.

fast forward to high school, i became less and less of a nerd, started talking to people, made more friends, learned about "The Game" as i became more interested in girls. I was still scared around them but that stopped n i became more confident around 10th grade.

As time when by I learned more and more about how girls work, and I actually started making moves near the end of my 11th grade year on girls at my school, but I have one big problem:

Most of the girls that I am attracted to are absolute b1tches. If I try to ask them questions to get to know them they give one word answers, they dont look at me when I try to talk to them, and they are just generally not open. And i'm described as 'cute' by alot of girls

I mean some of them are very nice but usually the ones that are really nice to me I dont have a chance with either because a) I'm not popular enough b) they already have boyfriends (and I'm not a homewrecker, there are single girls out there!), and c) they think they are out of my league...which maybe true at this time lol

i just wanna get better before i goto college.

 

[doubledown11]

http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Charming

 

[Lifeforce]

I was described as cute by girls too when I in reality was ugly. Take a good look on yourself and be honest. As I see it there is three possibilities.

1. You are ugly, work on it
2. You got the social intelligence of a spoon, work on it
3. They are *****es

If the majority of the women you talk to treat you this way then the common nominator is you and you probably suck. If only some are this way then they are probably *****es.

 

[PhenomX]

I was described as cute by girls too when I in reality was ugly. Take a good look on yourself and be honest. As I see it there is three possibilities.

1. You are ugly, work on it
2. You got the social intelligence of a spoon, work on it
3. They are *****es

If the majority of the women you talk to treat you this way then the common nominator is you and you probably suck. If only some are this way then they are probably *****es.

Well, thats too bad for you.

My look has been evolving over the years, i keep myself looking great. i dont have any noticeable blemishes on my face. My hair is great, even better when I gel it, I could look at my reflection for hours. So I dont really care if girls think I'm ugly because I'm good looking enough in my own eyes and better looking than

And if there was any need for validation I have good scores on HOTorNOT with alot of votes.

And looks dont matter that much man, there is some football player who is ugly as **** and has a ton of acne and isn't even that built and he is dating one of the hottest girls at my school. he isnt even tall!!!!!!!!!


Anyways, you need to reread my initial post. I said "most of the girls I'm attracted to" are like that to me.

That doesn't mean the even hotter ones who I said are nice to me but I don't have a shot with, or the uglies who I won't have anything to do with (I dated some uglies, it wasnt that fun).

 

[Igetit!]

I agree partly with what Lifeforce said. If every girl is cold to you,then it is something about you that is causing it, but it has NOTHING to do with your looks. Being attractive doesn't cause women to be warm and friendly to you,and being ugly doesn't cause them to be cold and rude. If that were the case,then only attractive men would have wives and girlfriends. And we all know that isn't the case. There could be many reasons why girls are cold to you, but there is only one thing that I would suggest you look at. Generally, whenever girls are cold to guys, it is because for some reason, they think that you are interested in them, but THEY are not attracted to you. Did you see what I just said? When a girl is cold to you, it is because she thinks that you are romantically/sexually interested in her, but she isn't interested in you.
If you look at all your past interactions with women, you'll notice that whenever you talked to a girl,and it was 100% clear that you were not interested in her,things seemed fine. No coldness or being distant. But when you approached a girl immediately showing interest in her,then she seemed cold. If you want to break this cycle,then whenever you talk to a girl, DON'T do or say anything that gives her the impression that you like her.

 

[The Sperminator]

I'm going to disagree with you a little bit. Looks actually can effect how people react to you. It's called the halo effect. People think you have better qualities based on if you are good looking. But I'm not going to say that an unattractive person can get girls. Because girls used to be cold to me too. I used to think it was because I wasn't good looking but instead it was that I just didn't know how to communicate/game girls. Then I started reading **** here and observing others and then girls were very friendly with me. So just keep on learning and practicing and you can fix this problem. Also from experience most private school girls are *****es.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Because girls used to be cold to me too. I used to think it was because I wasn't good looking but instead it was that I just didn't know how to communicate/game girls. Then I started reading **** here and observing others and then girls were very friendly with me.

Same here. Best thing you (OP) can do is observe. Find a guy who you can be like, and observer how he interacts. Do the same, and see what the result is.

 

[PhenomX]

Generally, whenever girls are cold to guys, it is because for some reason, they think that you are interested in them, but THEY are not attracted to you. Did you see what I just said? When a girl is cold to you, it is because she thinks that you are romantically/sexually interested in her, but she isn't interested in you.

I know EXACTLY wut you mean!!!!!

When theres a girl I don't like and she realy really really shows her interest in me I act more distant and i don't reply to all of her texts or i dont reply to them for a long time.


But how do I show that I don't need them, and show that I come from an "abundance" mindset as the kind folks at RSD call it?

 

[The Bat]

I know EXACTLY wut you mean!!!!!

When theres a girl I don't like and she realy really really shows her interest in me I act more distant and i don't reply to all of her texts or i dont reply to them for a long time.


But how do I show that I don't need them, and show that I come from an "abundance" mindset as the kind folks at RSD call it?

You stop screening your thoughts and language when you're around these girls. You think whatever the fvck you want and say whatever the fvck you want around these girls.

When you do this, it shows that you aren't seeking anybody's approval by constructing your speech in a polite manner. I say this because you said you go to a private school so I can only imagine the artificial atmosphere the school has constructed for you to behave in a proper manner.

You show them you don't need them by first developing a mindset that you don't TRULY need them. When you develop this mindset, your actions will automatically adjust and you will naturally show that you don't need them.

Think about your experience with girls who you don't like but they like you.

Are you consciously thinking about how to avoid those girls or act distant? Do you have to self-talk yourself and say, "Ok, I don't like her. So time to act distant and uninterested. Hopefully she'll get the hint."?

Now use that to develop an abundant mindset. Figure it out. And good luck.

 

[DJVladdy]

From personal experience: remember what I tell you, because it helped me alot.

People also used to not respond well to me. Basically I was pushing people away without knowing it. very frustrating.

Long story short, its in the body language... more specifically your facial expression. I'm SURE that your face is "closed" where your eyebrows are tense, head tilted downwards, defensive eyes!

Make your face "OPEN". dont hide emotions. visualize the muscles in the back of your head, they will naturally pull your facial muscles backwards and open your eyes and give them a "beaming" impression.

Think of it as kind of a "pleasantly surprized" facial expression, until you get in the habit of it.

Good example is here. Look at kyle's facial expression.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqJ9Ia5jVgw&feature=PlayList&p=D875BCDAF24E3163&index=15

and perfect example here, even though he got rejected

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AH6uypwd7Q&feature=related

 

[Effington]

It may sound cheesy, but a smile goes a long way. I've found that when you first make eye contact, most people (or women, at least) mimic face gestures, whether intentionally or not. In other words, you smile, they smile. People don't get creeped out when you approach and say hi if you've made eye contact and smile first.

Not sure if it's the greatest comparison or not, but I work in a big company and we communicate primarily through email. Since I work in a small division, I don't know much more than the 10 people I work around, but I've made it a habit to make eye contact and smile to everyone around. It's amazing how many times I've started small talk with someone and introduced myself, and they're like, "Oh, I think I've emailed you before!" I started talking to one girl near the microwave one day (I said something about how her food smelled good) and she gave me a menu to the place and introduced me to the hotties in her division. Next thing I know, the other girls are approaching my cube randomly later, asking for help on dumb stuff, like how to use the scanner. It was cute.

 

[DonGorgon]

Looks... if they dont like your look they make it hard for you to show them how nice your are inside..

 

[r0cky]

LOOKS dont matter. Thats basically the whole premise of this website.


Now, your problem may lie on your value and/ or social proof.
Social proof specially is very important in high school gaming.
The popular hot girls wont speak to any guy who is out of the incrowd, unless he is very high value.
They also won't talk to any guy who's value they perceive as lower than theirs.
Perhaps their impression of you is of a outcast/ geek which as I gather is what you were until the 10th grade.

 

[Furyguy]

I used to have this problem. What got me out it personally was reading Book of Pook, and reading and watching a LOT of David DeAngelo's stuff. Basically just acting more adventurous and goofy and lots of fun to be around.