Why am I such a wimp about approaching?

[Sir_Turtle]

agreed with slickaz.

Girls like to be friendly, you don't have to appraoch with the singleminded desire of seduction and sex. If you take things one step at a time
Casual convo>interest>arrange another meeting

then you are free to drop it at anytime when red flags of disinterest or unavailability come up such as rudeness,"i have a boyfriend" etc..

 

[sharkbeat]

This is what you need to do to get rid of approach anxiety.

Do cold approaches, and GET REJECTED. The more she rejects you the better it is. If she slaps you, kicks you in the nuts, spits on your face, you have done a GREAT job!

Then walk away, brush it off, fix your tie and jacket, and laugh.

 

[DonJuan11]

So I physically just stand there, paralyzed with fear. Then finally I make a decision....the wrong decision. I walk the other way and take a roundabout way to another exit.

I feel like such a loser right now. What a step backwards.

Please, I need some help so that this never happens again...I've read the DJ Bible and I know I need to do a Boot Camp at some point, but what do you guys do to psych yourselves up before you just approach a girl.

I came up with all these reasons why I couldn't...I didn't know if my hair was brushed, I wasn't in the right mood, fear that I would say something stupid...all this bad stuff.

I feel like such a chicken because there wasn't any question whether she was interested- she was and I knew it. For some reason that made me WAY more nervous than if I didn't know, especially considering her looks.

Damn.

It's your ego. You can't accept the fact that she might put you down and fracture your ego. You're not paralyzed with fear or your hair, you're paralyzed because if you approached and she told you where to go, it would be a blow to your ego.

If she was average looking, a little overweight, and liked the same things you did, you would have no problem because you would know there would be another one right around the corner. The fact that she was hot made it so much more difficult.

 

[Darth]

Wow. That's a bunch of great advice. Thank you guys for being here and trying to help me out. That's the great thing about this board.

First, thanks for the opener ideas. I like most of the indirect ones. I feel like from past experience if I can just walk up and say something whenever the urge hits me, then I've already won the battle. Every time I've actually gone up and talked to a girl, it's gone really well, usually involving her trying to hit on me, which is good.

Which why it's so frustrating when I wuss out and can't even muster up the courage to make the first move. And you're probably right, DonJuan, it's a combination of fear AND ego. Although even as I was walking away, my mind was already screaming, "you wimp, you wimp, you wimp." But at that point I figured it was too late- she already saw me hesitate and then walk away.


Oh, & thanks a lot Slickaz for those tips. That's some great stuff, and I think it's good for my style to. Approach with something innocent, and then if/when I get biting signals, amp up the flirting.

I came up with a street opener though: pretending to be lost and asking a girl for directions (a girl did this to me a couple days ago. I didn't get her number because I'm stupid and I didn't get the point until after).

 

[Energizer]

The pikachu noises.

That's one of the funniest things I've read.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=sLpp-XGW3Pg