"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Why am I so ugly.

riaanr77

New Member
Joined
May 9, 2013
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
Location
Durban, South Africa
Hi guys

I'm new to this site, so please forgive me if I am posting this in the wrong place.

My problem is that I am an incredibly ugly male. I am so aware of this that it affects my confidence in everything I do and especially around people.

So, I need some BRUTAL honesty here. Please give me your opinions on my looks.

Thank you.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

pinkfl

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 11, 2012
Messages
236
Reaction score
25
You look like an average guy that may be overweight
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

Ufcrocks1969

New Member
Joined
May 9, 2013
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
Location
Toronto
Dude you're better looking than me. I'm short even and still can get ladies to approach me. It's your attitude.
 

GotED?

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2012
Messages
819
Reaction score
99
Location
The Viagra Pill you wish you had...- United Kingdo
Did your mother show little affection towards you and hard to please when you were a child?

No, this is not a joke.

I had to go through half of my human life reversing the conditioning placed on by my mother that resulted in low-self esteem and highly sensitive to criticism and over reacting.

You need to clear your head of conditionings from other people who you never felt good enough and never pleased with what you did or never gave you praise.

Start from there and you will find a new inner self.

Good luck.

Exodus
 

djgirl

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 26, 2012
Messages
194
Reaction score
3
Location
Australia
you dont seem that bad....maybe lose a bit more weight/get toned and start dressing classy...you should be fine
 

LMFAO

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2012
Messages
758
Reaction score
41
Women care much more about money and status than looks. So dress like you're worth a million dollars, and at the same time lose some weight.
 

riaanr77

New Member
Joined
May 9, 2013
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
Location
Durban, South Africa
So why does it always feel like I am repulsing people. At this stage, I weigh 83kg and go to gym about 4 times per week. No matter how my day goes, as soon as I see myself in the mirror, it just totally depresses me because I can not do anything about my looks.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Hydrak

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 2, 2013
Messages
174
Reaction score
12
Location
Sweden
Money/status/confidence>looks as someone said. If you are ugly, work your butt off in life and try to get the best education possible. When you start earning money you can get all the girls you ever wanted. A 50 y o guy with $ can easily game hot 20 year olds.

You can get any girl you want if you cruise around in a BMW i8, 5,000$ clothes and working as a doctor in a private clinic.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,800
Reaction score
10,033
Body Dysmorphic Disorder. That or just massive insecurity. OP, you appear to be an average looking guy to me.

Women are buillt to be pretty, men aren't. Men are designed to be functional. Men are made to be builders, protectors, providers, hunters, pursuers. Early on in the "PUA revolution", it was maintained that looks didn't even matter because it was a man's personality, strength, power, and status that made him a man, and made him attractive to women.

Lately there has been a backlash against that thinking, and now some guys are saying looks matter more than anything. Personally, I think looks are a factor (you have to be good genetic breeding stock). But a man's looks could never be as important as a woman's looks are, because there are just too many other variables that can make a man attractive.

Point is, a man doesn't have to be exceptionally good looking to be attractive to women, as long as he can bring something else to the table. Like force of personality, charisma, etc. A lot of guys come here to work on building these things.
 

riaanr77

New Member
Joined
May 9, 2013
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
Location
Durban, South Africa
Looks is a huge factor, in any environment. I can remember a documentary I once saw how things are just easier for better looking people. And this is the reality of it and my frustration as I can not change any of this. I actually feel sorry for people that need to look at me. As for the Body Dysmorphic Disorder, I have been told that in the past, but I am afraid the mirror does not lie. Reality is reality.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,800
Reaction score
10,033
riaanr77 said:
Looks is a huge factor, in any environment. I can remember a documentary I once saw how things are just easier for better looking people. And this is the reality of it and my frustration as I can not change any of this. I actually feel sorry for people that need to look at me. As for the Body Dysmorphic Disorder, I have been told that in the past, but I am afraid the mirror does not lie. Reality is reality.
Don't make me start thinking you're a troll, we've had plenty of them here lately.

Look, I'm going to be honest with you. A lot of guys come here and post pictures of themselves and ask for feedback. I'd say 80-90% of the time I look at the picture and think "Yikes, no wonder he has trouble with women". But you just look like an average guy to me, there's no reason for you to think your looks repel anyone. But if you want to wallow in self pity when there's no reason to, hey, it's your life.
 
Last edited:

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

riaanr77

New Member
Joined
May 9, 2013
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
Location
Durban, South Africa
Thanks for the honesty! It's not about self pitty, it's this constant stuck record in my head that makes me feel this way and life experiences.
 

Smell The Glove

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2013
Messages
58
Reaction score
2
riaanr77 said:
So why does it always feel like I am repulsing people. At this stage, I weigh 83kg and go to gym about 4 times per week. No matter how my day goes, as soon as I see myself in the mirror, it just totally depresses me because I can not do anything about my looks.
Gym is good, but how is your diet? 75% of your physique is in what you eat.
 

BrownBear

Banned
Joined
Mar 24, 2013
Messages
180
Reaction score
4
Unlike those fvckers above, I will give you an honest answer:

You are ugly as fvck.

Now live with it :D
 

Smell The Glove

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2013
Messages
58
Reaction score
2
BrownBear said:
Unlike those fvckers above, I will give you an honest answer:

You are ugly as fvck.

Now live with it :D
I'm starting to understand why they call you PedoBear.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

Top