"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Why am I hung up on this chick?

combustiont

Don Juan
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Something is ****ing with me here about this one that we maintained the whole FB thing for a while... my brain is split down the middle with "be realistic, you know the situ" and the other part saying "its more than that".

So we mess around a bit, shes great. Funny, clever, etc. Lot of fun. She goes off somewhere for a wedding (keeping it vague, sorry gents) and says before she leaves shes not feeling well, etc... comes back, very distant. Knew something was up, but not sure what. Days between hearing from her, when she was usually hitting me daily to have some fun.

Find out she was pregnant, miscarried and ****, but something got complicated and she got stuck in the hospital with no pulse. Intense. Tried to do the nice thing, be there, help her out where I can. I'm a stubborn **** but I also believe in karma and helping someone out when they need it in a situation like that. Her family has been nothing short of chill to me, too - I believe in being a good person all around, but being firm with what you believe in and expect out of people, so I do good for them too and who knows, maybe i'll need a favor from them one day. Anyways...

I bounce from town for a few weeks for longshot job interviews. She gets mad distant all of a sudden. I ask for something back and how shes doing, I get blown up on. This bounces from "I wont let you guilt me into anything" to "just come home already".

I get back a week ago, one text. Honestly I just want my one thing I left over there back (again, vague, I know). I'm prepped to walk away, but something is eating at me here and its ****ing me up enough to where i'm chillin at my place with a rum and coke with an offer from someone else to disappear for the night with her and possibly her roommate.

This is ****ed up. I'm tossing aside the idea of one plus a roommate because I haven't heard a ****ing thing from this girl who got pregnant from someone else and has been acting like **** towards me. I mean I read this like three times and my brain says "****ING ABORT, MORON" but I can't for some reason.

Honestly, I guess i'm looking for a pick-me-up. ****, I went to the ballgame with the neighbors girl (haha, this one is ****ed up... i'm semi after here, keep her curious but keep distance cause the mother****er lives next to me, and that whole karma thing) and had a great time. I get home and feel like i'm in a funk.

This **** is weird.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Real Talk

Don Juan
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combustiont said:
Something is ****ing with me here about this one that we maintained the whole FB thing for a while... my brain is split down the middle with "be realistic, you know the situ" and the other part saying "its more than that".

So we mess around a bit, shes great. Funny, clever, etc. Lot of fun. She goes off somewhere for a wedding (keeping it vague, sorry gents) and says before she leaves shes not feeling well, etc... comes back, very distant. Knew something was up, but not sure what. Days between hearing from her, when she was usually hitting me daily to have some fun.

Find out she was pregnant, miscarried and ****, but something got complicated and she got stuck in the hospital with no pulse. Intense. Tried to do the nice thing, be there, help her out where I can. I'm a stubborn **** but I also believe in karma and helping someone out when they need it in a situation like that. Her family has been nothing short of chill to me, too - I believe in being a good person all around, but being firm with what you believe in and expect out of people, so I do good for them too and who knows, maybe i'll need a favor from them one day. Anyways...

I bounce from town for a few weeks for longshot job interviews. She gets mad distant all of a sudden. I ask for something back and how shes doing, I get blown up on. This bounces from "I wont let you guilt me into anything" to "just come home already".

I get back a week ago, one text. Honestly I just want my one thing I left over there back (again, vague, I know). I'm prepped to walk away, but something is eating at me here and its ****ing me up enough to where i'm chillin at my place with a rum and coke with an offer from someone else to disappear for the night with her and possibly her roommate.

This is ****ed up. I'm tossing aside the idea of one plus a roommate because I haven't heard a ****ing thing from this girl who got pregnant from someone else and has been acting like **** towards me. I mean I read this like three times and my brain says "****ING ABORT, MORON" but I can't for some reason.

Honestly, I guess i'm looking for a pick-me-up. ****, I went to the ballgame with the neighbors girl (haha, this one is ****ed up... i'm semi after here, keep her curious but keep distance cause the mother****er lives next to me, and that whole karma thing) and had a great time. I get home and feel like i'm in a funk.

This **** is weird.

I could imagine that ol' girl just went through one of the most traumatizing periods of her life. Keep in mind that you were FB's as you stated, and also it wasn't your seed so you have ZERO obligation to her. If you are in the good graces of her family already and they see you as a positive thing in her life its not a bad thing to be a gentleman to whoever needs an ear, as long as you're keeping your own emotions in check.

Have fun with other girls, I wholeheartedly advise this. It seems like you semi-caught feelings at this point, but you need to tell yourself that given the circumstances of her miscarriage and flatlining its a TERRIBLE idea to get more involved now. If the whole thing blows over and she goes back to good old times then you can take a step back and evaluate the relationship objectively, but for now don't be any more availible physically or emotionally than you would think someone like me would deem appropriate for you :)

There is a reason you two were just f*ck buddies and you didnt pursue a realtionship with her before. Just because she starts acting distant doesn't mean you should instinctively start to get feelings. It's just a reaction mechanism...so go get some on the side from another chick :)
 

combustiont

Don Juan
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Real Talk said:
I could imagine that ol' girl just went through one of the most traumatizing periods of her life. Keep in mind that you were FB's as you stated, and also it wasn't your seed so you have ZERO obligation to her. If you are in the good graces of her family already and they see you as a positive thing in her life its not a bad thing to be a gentleman to whoever needs an ear, as long as you're keeping your own emotions in check.

Have fun with other girls, I wholeheartedly advise this. It seems like you semi-caught feelings at this point, but you need to tell yourself that given the circumstances of her miscarriage and flatlining its a TERRIBLE idea to get more involved now. If the whole thing blows over and she goes back to good old times then you can take a step back and evaluate the relationship objectively, but for now don't be any more availible physically or emotionally than you would think someone like me would deem appropriate for you :)

There is a reason you two were just f*ck buddies and you didnt pursue a realtionship with her before. Just because she starts acting distant doesn't mean you should instinctively start to get feelings. It's just a reaction mechanism...so go get some on the side from another chick :)
Good call. Needed to hear that, makes perfect sense.

Thanks brother!
 
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