Why am I being such a little ***** regarding my Ex ?

[Zion]

So yeah...title basically.
I've broken up with this girl 6 months ago .. or so. After a 3 year relationship.

It's been a mostly great relationship and all. Ups and downs , you know how it is. But I'd say mostly ups.

Thing is , I'm well over her..or so I think. Until I actually start talking to her over facebook or whatever. I get all these weird adrenaline rushes and I'm feeling all scared and excited at the same time.

I don't have troubles talking to other girls or anything like that. I'm confident , I feel good ...but seriously it's like I'm under a fcking spell each time we talk.


I just want this **** to stop. I'm tired of losing myself like this each time she pops up a chat window. And I never even am the one to ever initiate a convo with her , mainly because of what I explain.

 

[Jariel]

Isn't the answer obvious mate?

You need to stop talking to her, remove her from Facebook and let go. Check out the no contact thread stickied on the forum page. The only way to really get over an ex is to cut contact and take time to yourself to heal.

 

[Zion]

Isn't the answer obvious mate?

You need to stop talking to her, remove her from Facebook and let go. Check out the no contact thread stickied on the forum page. The only way to really get over an ex is to cut contact and take time to yourself to heal.

I've been NC for the first 3 months. I never open her fb profile to see what she's doing , never ponder about 'should I talk to her' , none of that ****.

I don't wanna simply delete all traces of her from my life. I can't do that after every relationship. I'm not much for running.

 

[soulforge]

I've been NC for the first 3 months. I never open her fb profile to see what she's doing , never ponder about 'should I talk to her' , none of that ****.

I don't wanna simply delete all traces of her from my life. I can't do that after every relationship. I'm not much for running.

your not much for running.... dude you need to stop all conctact... aslong as she is in the picture, you will not get over her.

it's not a matter of running, it's a matter of your mental health... do you enjoy feeling like this? no

then free yourself.. it will take time, but you will get there

 

[expos]

It's normal. 3 years is a pretty long time, and you were emotionally attached. She probably feels the same, and those feelings don't really go away in a couple of months. It might take you a full year to fully recover.

Question...why are you still talking with her? Does she ever explain why she wants to talk to you?

 

[Renegade357]

Sounds like you like her and she's reaching out to you. If you want her back just ask her out on a date and start from square 1 again. Do it right this time.

If she's just doing this friend zone crap you need to tell her you're not interested in that and just walk. Don't be so responsive.

 

[Zion]

Question...why are you still talking with her? Does she ever explain why she wants to talk to you?

Mostly it's "Hey I gotta give you some "money / random object / silly stuff back from way back when". I take that as a pretext obviously. Then she asks how I'm doing , how come she's the only one to contact and I never do , if I'm doing well. All that.

Sounds like you like her and she's reaching out to you. If you want her back just ask her out on a date and start from square 1 again. Do it right this time.

If she's just doing this friend zone crap you need to tell her you're not interested in that and just walk. Don't be so responsive.

I can't say I dislike her. She's one of the coolest people I know. If anyone's doing the friendzone crap I think it's me to be honest. I'm pretty sure I could get back together with her if I wanted to ,but I don't.

I'm young. I'm just 20. There's a few things I gotta focus on in my life. I've got big exams coming , big decisions to make. A relationship can be hazardous to that kind of thing. But I guess you guys know that.

Anyway that's one reason. Others include really wanting to meet some other girl that's as awesome as she is.Not that successful so far , but "she's the best and I'll never find anyone better" just doesn't fit with me. I wanna prove it to myself that that's a load of ****.

 

[NewJack]

Haha its because you LOVE her. Thats what love does to ya. Thats what it feels like - and it triggers all sorts of other feelings, especially anxiety, etc.

Congratulations that you have at least felt something strong in your life. I would say walk the line between self-respect/self-love and love of her. Use NC if its too debilitating.

But don't be ashamed because you were brave enough to feel something for another person. That's your strength.

 

[instantnoodles]

Hahahahaha @NewJack's response.

:crackup: Awesome. Spot on.

Butthurt people have trouble seeing beyond their butthurt lenses anyway.

 

[Zion]

Haha its because you LOVE her. Thats what love does to ya. Thats what it feels like - and it triggers all sorts of other feelings, especially anxiety, etc.

Congratulations that you have at least felt something strong in your life. I would say walk the line between self-respect/self-love and love of her. Use NC if its too debilitating.

But don't be ashamed because you were brave enough to feel something for another person. That's your strength.

Sh!t...you might be right.

Sh!t ! fvck this is bad.

 

[NewJack]

Sh!t...you might be right.

Sh!t ! fvck this is bad.

If you let the feelings of anxiety roll through you, they eventually dissipate and change. They grow much less severe.

You could set aside fifteen minutes a night to feeling your feelings for her, and letting them roll through. Should resolve/change in a few weeks, with discipline. Feeling feelings changes feelings.

Or they may just change or get redirected naturally.

Worst comes to worst you lose a few months obsessing over her and slacken up on your life goals and dreams a bit. Even that won't kill you. Or you could just sPiN MoAr PLaTeZ, BrO!

 

[instantnoodles]

If you let the feelings of anxiety roll through you, they eventually dissipate and change. They grow much less severe.

You could set aside fifteen minutes a night to feeling your feelings for her, and letting them roll through. Should resolve/change in a few weeks, with discipline. Feeling feelings changes feelings.

Or they may just change or get redirected naturally.

Worst comes to worst you lose a few months obsessing over her and slacken up on your life goals and dreams a bit. Even that won't kill you. Or you could just sPiN MoAr PLaTeZ, BrO!

It's like he's sitting under a tree and a coconut fall on his head. Plop! He realize it's a coconut tree. Lol.

 

[Cremasta]

I'm young. I'm just 20. There's a few things I gotta focus on in my life. I've got big exams coming , big decisions to make. A relationship can be hazardous to that kind of thing. But I guess you guys know that.

Anyway that's one reason. Others include really wanting to meet some other girl that's as awesome as she is.Not that successful so far , but "she's the best and I'll never find anyone better" just doesn't fit with me. I wanna prove it to myself that that's a load of ****.

There's got to be more to it than that.
These aren't very good reasons to get rid of an "awesome" and "coolest" girl who you seemed to have a pretty positive relationship with.

 

[Zion]

There's got to be more to it than that.
These aren't very good reasons to get rid of an "awesome" and "coolest" girl who you seemed to have a pretty positive relationship with.

Yeah , logistics.

The last year or so of the relationship was long distance since I moved to college. We still live like 300 km apart.