Why am I always being ignored?

[Vanilla]

Whether it be in real life, myspace, or craigslist, I never get any response.

I have a confident tone and I don't talk under my breath, am I talking to the wrong people? Is it how I communicate?

And when I'm online, I'm shocked that people would actually reply in the beginning, but then I never hear from them again.

Whether it be open ended questions or saying hello, they just wouldn't acknowledge my presence.

Anyone else have similar experiences? How do you deal with it?

 

[T Money]

you sound lonely man, go make some friends.

 

[wordism]

your prolly boring.. you sound kinda boring.. be funny :crackup:

 

[T Money]

Yeah man, listen to Mitch Hedberg. Everyone loves him.

 

[killbill]

hey I have the same problem to. who knows maybe where boring.

 

[abcd_z]

First, I don't see what this is doing in Anything Else. It's a valid question that regards socializing, not just with the opposite sex. Beyond that, you need to give us more info. Do you initiate conversations? If so, exactly what do you say? Is it people who already know you that ignore you? Do random strangers ignore you? Can you go up to somebody you don't know and get their attention to ask for directions? Or are you some sort of human-ghost hybrid that nobody can directly percieve? Help us help you, we need more info.

 

[Vanilla]

Originally posted by abcd_z
First, I don't see what this is doing in Anything Else. It's a valid question that regards socializing, not just with the opposite sex. Beyond that, you need to give us more info. Do you initiate conversations? If so, exactly what do you say? Is it people who already know you that ignore you? Do random strangers ignore you? Can you go up to somebody you don't know and get their attention to ask for directions? Or are you some sort of human-ghost hybrid that nobody can directly percieve? Help us help you, we need more info.

I initiate convorsations but they get dull fast, they'd only give me a one word response. Usually people I've recently met in class, they seem to get cold on me as if I insulted their mother.

I don't know whether I have high expectations for people to constantly talk to me or if people I talk to have some kind of social problems.

Even talking to strangers asking for help, they'd usually be too busy to help me. I feel like a ghost, even my skin color is white.

 

[abcd_z]

Hmm. From the sounds of it, you're suffering from A) self-image problems, B) body language/vocal projection problems, or C) A lack of anything interesting to talk about. I suspect it's a combination of all three, but I don't really have much to go on.

If the problem is A, you view things through a mental filter that's far too negative, ignoring the positive responses and accentuating the negative ones. If so, recognize what you're doing and make a conscious effort to correct it every time it occurs.
If the problem is B, I'm not entirely sure what to do to help. Find books on body language and projection, see if there are training classes that can help, or, barring those, check online for some information.
If it's C, try canned material. These are stories, and other interactions that have been field-tested to have good results. I know there's a large group of "naturalists" who insist on not using a drop of canned material, for whatever reason. I would suggest memorizing an opener, a neg, some good routines, and field test them until you get good results with them. Find routines on fastseduction.com or bristollair.com. I've got a collection of about 20 great ones, email me if you're interested.
Remember, though, that canned material is only supposed to be a sort of training wheels until you don't need it any more. If you're been in the game for 4 years and still rely completely on canned routines, you've missed the point.

There's a wealth of attraction information out there, much of it offline. Any books on Body Language and Vocality, The Game by Neil Strauss, How To Succeed With Women by Copeland, and all the good e-books you're technically supposed to pay for but could probably find on Peer-2-peer programs.

Anyhow, good luck.

-Brendan

 

[bud_2005]

You should get this book I think its called:

"How to Make Friends and Influence People"

I haven't read it but I heard it is good.